How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

That isn’t any way fair.

Avoid trusts if you can. They cause all manner of problems and aren’t necessary now all the GC are of age.

Split equally between your three children. Let them decide what, when and how to pass on to their own children.
A token amount maybe to the grandkids if you want.

I would also split the bulk of the estate equally between your three daughters. Anything other than that is quite divisive and could cause long lasting damage to relationships and hurt, however well meaning. Maybe a smaller amount to the GC first, possibly up to a fourth split between them as suggested previously but no more than that.

Equally between the three children ?

Dive your estate into 4 - 25% to each daughter and 25% between such of your grandchildren as shall survive you so you don't need to update your Will if any others come along. There's no right or wrong answer but as someone who has seen many of these scenarios play out and the carnage it causes for the children thereafter, either talk through what you are going to do with them or leave a letter explaining your reasoning. It might not stop a family fall out but it may go some way to keeping your children talking and understanding that you love them all

That's what my foster daughter's grandmother did. It worked out well. Where one of her daughters had died her share was equally divided between her daughter's two children. Noone complained.

It is.
The OP wants to leave an inheritance to her GC. They are individuals and adults, not some extension of their parents.
The GC are likely to benefit much more from the money, they're early into adulthood. Their parents should be financially secure by now.

I’d leave it split equally to your daughters. Let them manage it for the grandchildren.

Split your estate equally between your three DC. Your GC can inherit from their parents in the future but you could leave each of them a small sum if you wish. Regardless of how they turned out, they are all your children and you will cause resentment and fall out if you treat them differently. How their lives turned out was in the main down to their own choices.

Divide by your children, the GC will get it in the wills their parents write.

Definitely all to your daughters. Anything else is unfair.

The only fair option is to divide it between your daughters only.

What happens if your youngest unmarried daughter gets married and has 4 kids after you die? where is the inheritance for those grandkids - they get punished because you died before you knew them.

Your daughters should inherit equally and treat their own kids in turn the way they see fit imho.

The only fair way is 1/3 to each daughter. It’s their choice how many children they have…and your unmarried daughter could still have children!

Speaking from experience, it will cause problems if the money is split in any other way than a third to each of the daughters either outright or to their children. OP doesn't want to upset anyone. It doesn't matter that the GCs are individuals, or if their parents are established financially. Money and wills cause conflict within families. The only way to avoid it is to be scrupulously fair.

My mum split hers in quarters. Me and my two sisters got 1/4 each and the final
1/4 was shared equally between the grandchildren.

My GPs did an equal split between their daughters and us GCs. No one had any problems with it at all.
I don't understand why people are so against GC inheriting on here. Any other inheritance post the comments are that no ones entitled to inheritance, if someone wants to leave their money to charity/DP/neighbour who supported them it's their choice, but when GC come into it the majority of comments are against GC inheriting.

I would split 3 ways between your children. They can then pass on as they see fit. That is the only fair way of your childless daughter.

Id leave a token for each gc and split rest between your own children

I'm the one without children and my two siblings do have them. I'll be annoyed if I get less inheritance because some of it goes to my siblings' children instead of being split equally between me and my siblings. For every extra grandchild, I get less - not really fair.

My grandparents left their money to their own 2 children.

My mother's will splits her estate between me and my sibling. I have 5 DC, my sibling only has one. It wouldn't be fair at all to split it so that me and mine get 6/8ths and my sibling and family get 2/8ths.

I agree. In my Will I have left everything shared equally between my two DC. I have one granddaughter and one step- grandson who I treat as a biological grandson, but I think it's fairer if I just leave everything to my DC.

So your daughters would be ignored in favoir of their own children not only by their own mother but by their grandmother too. Poor things. I think leaving it to your children with a cash gift to grandchildren is the only fair way.

This happened when my GM died back in 1969. She had left money to her DC, and had left £50 to each of her DGC, but at about the same time she died, my uncle had a DS, so it was agreed between the DC that he too would get £50 which was taken from the estate. It was fairly easy to sort out, but wouldn't always be easy with some families.

It’s not being against GCs inheriting per se so much as the way the money is split between the families. If you don’t want your children to be upset, treat them equally.