I feel awful typing that but it’s kind of my most dark and hidden thought. I love her, but I do sometimes think if I could press a button and just go back and not know her but know what was to come I’d do so.
She is … challenging. She wants what she wants and if she doesn’t get it she screams. Car journeys are fraught as she will have say a toy and then drop it and scream. Often I end up pulling over just to stop her screaming but of course sometimes I can’t. She screams whenever something bothers her and it can be anything … the unpredictability of her has me on edge as even when she’s fine the next moment she won’t be.
She sleeps badly, not so much at night but wakes insanely early and if she even has a short nap she’s awake until gone 9. It’s really getting me down tbh.
I just hope it will get better as much as I love her I don’t enjoy spending time with her at the moment as my life is just constantly dealing with crying and screaming and whining; it feels like she’s never happy.