AIBU to let my Year 5 daughter walk home alone?

[lemonbalm107]

DD will be going into year 5 in September and is sensible. Her school allows Y5 and Y6 to walk to/go home from school alone with parental permission.

what are everyone’s thoughts on this? We live a 4 minute walk from the school, with 2 residential road crossings (occasional cars, not super busy). Keen to encourage her independence but as she’s my first child I’m not sure overall.

My kids walk in the dark, and have done since 6/7 years old. Its dark on their way to school in winter (DS has to leave at half 7 and its very dark in the middle of winter at that time in my country), not usually dark on their way home but they walk back from friends houses in the dark (though I remember one of DS's friends last year was scared to walk home in the dark from ours so I always walked him back or his 8 year old sister would come fetch him)

DS2 walked a few minutes home from y5 when his brother went to secondary with one reasonable road to cross. He didn't have a phone until later in y6 as he was never far from either the school office or our landline. I'd get back home 10-15 minutes after him. Many in his class were older siblings so their families were still walking that year.

A lot of the year 5’s at our primary walk home on their own. Journeys are usually 10-15 mins or less (small town, lots of primaries with small admission distances), along well lit streets and plenty of safe crossing areas. DD will do the same, if she wants to, when she’s 9.

Exactly the dark won’t kill them. Bonus points if you walk past a graveyard and scare yourself and your friends stupid. I used to love walking home with my mum and friends from brownies or whatever at age 7/8 and stopping to chat under a lamppost in the dark. As long as a child is sensible in the dark and sticks to lighted paths and roads and carries a torch if need be then it builds up great resilience skills. What happens if it snows and it’s dark? You tackle it sensibly. Or throw snowballs.

For decades kids have had to walk to school by themselves. Actually in 1900s sometime my great grandma walked her younger daughter (about 8 or 9) to school, no idea why, in Ladbroke Grove, and her older sister (my nana) who was 11 was most put out that until she started secondary school (it might’ve been nearby I forget which) her mum walked them both to school! My great grandfather, (nana’s dad) walked all the way to London by himself to find his fortune and get work all the way from Somerset aged 12! He became a tally man and very rich because of it.

In your situation I would let her. Our problem is the massively busy, full of crazy drivers road that DC would have to cross on their own. It’s a nightmare and I’m worried they’re still a bit in their own heads to be safe

DD walked through a graveyard to get to school, in the dark. But she wasn't ever scared by graveyards, she'd drag me out to walk there at midnight a few years later, on Halloween!

Ha ha! That’s classic! I like her style. Not scared of anything I bet. She’ll go far.

Kids do need to get road and traffic aware especially on busy roads. At 7 they should have had a road safety lesson or two. And you as the parent should take them out regularly in that sort of situation so they should know what to do. And watch out for stupid drivers.

Most of the kids at ours walk home from y5, my eldest did and my youngest will too, it's good practice for secondary when they'll be getting themselves to and from school

https://www.think.gov.uk/education-resources/

https://capt.org.uk/csw-road-safety/

Maybe 20 years ago - but not today. That's just me.

Round here y5 would be the minimum age for this, I’d say it depends on the child but I think I’d have been just about ok with this with mine from y5, definitely y6

Have a presence there. Get to know the other parents and kids, be able to take friends back home with you to play/have tea, understand who your kids like to hang out with, and who you think you might like to avoid, keep your ear to the ground for gossip. Networking, basically. This then stops for secondary.

Have a presence there. Get to know the other parents and kids, be able to take friends back home with you to play/have tea, understand who your kids like to hang out with, and who you think you might like to avoid, keep your ear to the ground for gossip. Networking, basically.

Surely the only thing you need to know is who your child likes to hang out with. And your child can tell you that. It's primary school, not politics.

@HelenaWilson I agree. I don't want to curate my kids' friendship groups - there's enough socio-economic filtering through where we live and my kids' hobbies and activities without me imposing my ideas of who I do or don't think I want my kids to hang out with. Kids, like adults, already tend to form friendship groups which contain people from similar backgrounds to themselves, so the chances are that if they're happy with a child, the parents will get on OK. I didn't need or want to take on an extra task of arranging my child's social circle.

@Hillarious I left the working of the playground to my children to do, because the playground is their office and I was typically working before and after their school day. They both worked out who they wanted to hang around with and who they'd rather avoid. My kids just had to do a bit more legwork in arranging the playdates - they told me who they wanted to invite, we wrote a note with contact details, they gave it to the friend, the friend took it home, the adults got in touch and made the thing the kids wanted to happen actually come about.

My DS has been walking since 1st grade. Takes about 20 minutes,...in theory. He can take up to an hour to walk home because he stops at places, has a chat with friends, goes to the playground. We live in a small town.
It's completely normal here, though. He's about to start 3rd grade after the summer holidays.
4 minutes is nothing.

If school let them I imagine there will be quite a few doing it so YANBU at all.

My DC feels like he’s the only one not allowed - but there are two or three major crossings and a lot longer journey than yours. Still doable on foot. I’m trying to do it bit by bit so that it’ll be ok from y6 or half way through y6.

My son started walking the mile to school at the end of p4 - he was 8. The kids who love 4 minutes away were mostly walking themselves earlier than that.

I have no idea what happens before and after school as my husband and I work full time. Before my kids could walk themselves to school we’d walk them to wraparound. He was delighted when he could cancel breakfast club. It’s all much easier now.

I remember my DD would sometimes take a couple of hours to get home from school in winter as she'd find a snowy hill and spend a happy hour sliding down it on her bum, or she'd have her skis because she skied to school and she'd do a couple of laps of the cross country course.

She should definitely be getting more independence especially since it’s only 4 mins

My working of the playground was very hands off. I certainly didn’t curate my kids friendships, but was alert to other parents who were. There were also people in the playground I liked to catch up with, who weren’t the parents of any of my children’s friends.

My DD has walked home alone (well with friends most of the way) since end of year 4.
Similar 5 mins walk and only one minor road to cross

In these circumstances absolutely if she is sensible. She is 10, not 3.

All part of the fun of winter.