AIBU to want to be dishonest in my Airbnb review?

[queenceleste]

I just stayed in a good well priced airbnb which is within someone’s home.

The experience was fine but the owner sent different signals to the advertised offer.

I felt that the listing said one thing about shared spaces but they didn’t confirm that on arrival. My friend who stayed with me said I was making my discomfort up!

I just feel I want to give them a great review as they were really good - I just felt much more uncomfortable than usual - but we usually stay where we don’t see the owner!

I’m always loathe to give anything negative in a review. I’m interested if other people feel that same reluctance.

i think you would be very harsh to leave a review like that. It was exactly as advertised - there was a shared space, which unsurprisingly other people were sometimes in.

You picked an air bnb which was a room in someone’s house, it was a nice room, but you have discovered that you don’t like shared spaces - that’s totally on you and nothing to do with the host.

saying something like ‘the host is very present’ makes it sound like they were constantly nagging you / coming into your room etc which is not the case at all.

I’d hate this too, OP; so I’d never book a shared space Airbnb. That’s on you, sorry.

You were in their space.

Why would the review have to be dishonest? If your negative feeling about the shared spaces was based in fact (an inadequate welcome), and if you really think it was a severe enough issue, then surely you can just state that truthfully, alongside the positive parts of your experience.

But if you think that you may be projecting your own discomfort about shared spaces, rather than responding to an objectively unwelcoming host, then don't say anything about it in the review.

I'm an overthinker sometimes too op. But I do have a word with myself every now and again and ask : "is this worth my peace and headspace?"... The answer is nearly always no. So, my advice here is to just not leave a review, or just a "great place, convenient location" style single sentence and put it out of your mind starting today. Reviews can be useful when booking places but you don't actually owe the world and their mother one at this kind of effort.

My feeling is that if you dislike shared spaces then stay in a hotel. Or check very carefully with the host as to which spaces are shared. This is why I have never used Air B&B because I like my privacy.

I think this indicates a mismatch between what you were expecting and what materialised. Your feelings are valid but maybe check more carefully next time. I you wish to leave a review simply mention that A and B were shared spaces.

you could word it along the lines of “as advertised, this is a shared space so the female host is always around in the various rooms. there was a sturdy lock on the bedroom door and the window could be opened and locked shut and i felt safe” or something. Just word it nicely but informatively.

With regard to no tour, you could say something along the lines of “we settled in and found the bathroom along the hall next to the kitchen and what appeared to be the communal lounge where the owner was watching tv quietly” or something. That means you weren’t shown. She was in the lounge. Owner is a woman. Not noisy.

Obviously i dont know the facts but word it so people read between the lines and come up with why is the person wandering round wasn’t she shown, good to know owner is a woman and no mention of men so i like that, good the bedroom has a good lock and the window is ok etc etc.

you can say things in a way it appears to be innocent but conveys the info you want to plant.

Do it. I regret not being completely honest in a past review I did (the last time I used air bnb). The guy was a weird psycho and while I tactfully pointed out the issues of staying at his place I was too nice. He gave me a glowing review but then sent me a separate multi-paragraph email whining about how unfair he felt the slight critique was in my email and how much he hated me.

Again thanks, this has literally helped. I am going to separate how I felt about the stay from the literal experience which was strictly speaking exactly consistent with the listing.

Just don't write a review. Most people don't.

Well you shouldn't have booked a place where the host is present.

If it's their house and they live there it goes without saying that they'll be occupying some of the shared spaces. They're shared. Not exclusively for your use only?

So yeah, don't put anything bad. It just wasn't a set up you're comfortable with but host did nothing wrong. You can make it plain in the review that the host will be present. But don't use it as a negative.

AirBnB have loads of entirely self-contained places as well (just in case you didn't know!) I've used loads and never shared a space. Although it sort of started off as a sofa-surfing type network, it's long been taken over by vacation rentals etc.

I have accidentally stayed in a home-airbnb and it was awful! I’d never book one again. The host was fine but I did not enjoy being in someone’s home. I didn’t give them a poor review though since it’s just the nature of the accommodation.

Thanks for the replies, I think I feel the host has become a bit jaded with the letting of their space but dependent on it. So I almost felt there was a bit of a sigh even to small questions. I felt they were unenthusiastic (!) but why not!
My mate said I was being over-sensitive and I am definitely overthinking. We chose this space for economy & car parking access and I think staying in someone’s home can feel hugely and undesirably intimate. I need more reassurance to feel at home.

DH and I once stayed in an Airbnb in this scenario and he said never ever again 😆

It would be unfair to the host to leave a negative review just because you didn't get a good vibe from them.

In this instance I think your best course of action is to leave no review at all.

From what you have written Op you were aware of the shared space but actually were hoping that it wasn't?

You could say ‘great location or whatever and host is available as it’s a shared space’.

Yes I think I need to just leave a brief or no review!

I stayed at an air bnb which was also the hosts home when my DD was at uni and I was visiting her ... never again. I always make sure the place is completely ours.

They were lovely lovely people, very welcoming and hospitable. Maybe too much 😀... when I checked in they said they were having friends round later for drinks/nibbles and I was welcome to join them. I said I'd be having dinner with DD and would prob be quite late but thanks etc.

I arrived back about 10.30/11.00 and heard them all in the kitchen ... I had to walk by the kitchen to get to my bedroom, so I tiptoed then suddenly the door flung open and there they were .... I was bundled in, handed a drink and I do find that sort of thing really difficult. Some people would love it, DH prob would have done.

I know I should have been firmer, said I was tired but it was all quick and akward.

it may have been your perception OP. You immediately felt uncomfortable when you saw the owner and didn’t want to use the shared spaces. I don’t think you should leave a bad review. However, you can leave none

Surely, access to a shared space is just that…….why be precious about who you would be sharing it with?! And giving a dishonest review is wrong……business have failed because of this!

I think you should leave no review, because a review based on 'vibes' that you're struggling to articulate is likely to be unintentionally misleading. Equally, there's no obligation to leave a review saying you enjoyed the experience if you didn't. Sometimes it's just best to say nothing.

If you’re uncomfortable in a shared space Airbnb, you shouldn’t have stayed in one. Hardly fair on the host if you wanted hotel accommodation at shared Airbnb prices. Your friend should be your guide here. Don’t leave a review if you want to complain about a shared space when it was clearly advertised as such.

Yes Im aware Air B&B has many unshared spaces. However I prefer the anonymity of hotels since I usually travel alone to non tourist destinations. As a non driver I also have to be able to reach the accommodation easily by public transport so anywhere off the beaten track is a problem.

When I want to leave a purely factual review or piece of writing with all the emotion taken out I use an AI

I have stayed in many, many Airbnb like this, in effect a stay in a stranger's home.As such I've met all different types of host. Some very friendly, some a little more distant, but I always take great care to read the reviews and the information provided by the host. I know exactly what I want - a bed and access to a bathroom in the area I'm visiting. If I was someone who needed " reassurance" or wanted a whole house to myself then I wouldn't book this type of accommodation.

This is your mistake OP you booked one this, but wanted something else so it's really not fair of you to leave a negative review.