To send a close friend a small cat ornament when she has lost her precious cat?

[38woman]

Just that really, she recently lost her lovely but very old cat who she was devoted to. I saw a little cat ornament and bought it to send but have been told this could be 'mean'. I don't think she would take it that way, what do you think?

I have had cats since I was a child, so have navigated the loss of beloved fur babies over the years, and unfortunately very recently too. I would think this is a lovely gesture and would be really touched if I received such a thoughtful gift from a close friend x

It's a kind thought, but I think it would be inappropriate (not mean though). If the ornament looks like her cat then it could be upsetting, and if it doesn't, then it's just a random cat ornament.

I love my cat, but we don't have a houseful of cat related things, and I would just put a cat ornament in the cupboard (or throw it away, but maybe that's just me?)

Maybe just send a card and some flowers.

My friend did this when I had to have one of mine PTS. The gesture meant the world to me and I have it next to a photo of him.

If you think your friend would appreciate it, I think it's a lovely idea.

Personally, as a devoted cat lover and owner, I wouldn’t want to receive it. It would make me sadder. I think it’s going to depend on the person though.

It’s a beautiful thought 🐾 to show you are sharing her grief xxx

I don't think it's the ornament as such but as anyone bereaved will tell you, just knowing that people are thinking of you and know how you are feeling is a good thing.

I'd send it. If she doesn't want it she can donate it, but it will show her that you have her in your thoughts, which will mean a lot.

2 things. Firstly, I think it's a bit dangerous - some will love it, some will see it as insensitive. But also is a cat ornament her thing? People keep buying me dog related things (because I have a dog) I shove them in the spare room and then the bin when I think they'll have forgotten as they're not to my taste.

When I've lost pets and family, the gifts that have always been most impactful are a plant, usually a rose, that flower every year and act as a lovely reminder of them.

You’d literally throw it in the bin?!

Off topic, I know, but I’ve seen this so often on here with unwanted Christmas/birthday gifts, where people are quite blasé about chucking brand new items straight into landfill. Absolutely does my head in, especially as there are so many easy, hassle-free ways to give away or donate things, and so many people who’d love and appreciate them.

I think it’s a really lovely idea, OP, but only you can guess how your friend might feel about it. A friend of mine sent flowers when my dog died. She was the only person who seemed to truly understand how devastated we were, and it sticks in my mind as such a kind and thoughtful gesture.

I think it’s a nice gesture. When a friends dog died I got her a little plaque with a photo of her and she loved it

I wouldn't personally she may or may not take it well. She might also see it as a piece of clutter. I think a card with a thoughtful handwritten message would be better.

Gosh, my immediate instinct was to say "what a lovely thought, how could anyone be upset by it?!" But having seen some of the replies here, people really do come in all varieties, don't they! I'm a cat owner who has lost some beauties and been very sad. If someone bought me something like this, I'd really appreciate it and every time I looked at it I'd be reminded (in a good way) of my cat and that someone cared enough about my feelings to get me it. But as others have said here, only you really know your friend and can predict how they'd react.

That was would be a lovely gesture. I lost my cat recently and was sent a little suncatcher with her name on and was so touched.

I lost my 20 year old boy at Christmas and an old uni friend and cat lover sent me a beautiful pewter looking small cat ornament . I have never been so overjoyed with such a lovely sentiment . Nothing can replace my boy but the ornament is a gentle reminder

YANBU but if it were me, I’d buy something less direct like a rose bush.

I agree with this. The sentiment is lovely, but I personally don't think I'd want to receive anything as 'on the nose'. I'm also not an ornaments person (although do recognise that she might be).

I would be very touched by this gesture.

It is not mean. And I really disagree with the people saying you shouldn't send it. It's a lovely thing to do and absolutely send it

I don't think that's mean. I think its lovely. After my Mum lost her beloved cat, for her birthday i gave her a framed photo of her cat, she loved it and said it was a lovely thought.

I wouldn’t say it was mean but everyone responds differently as you have seen by the responses. How do you think your friend would respond - me personally would find it upsetting but I know a friend of mine would love it. I think if you are having to seek opinions you aren’t confident about how your friend will respond so it might be better to err on the side of caution and not send it at the moment.

I have sent something like when a pet has died. It can be kept or put on the grave/ ashes?

I've just lost my cat & I'd be very touched by this. It would upset me a bit but in a good way, if that makes sense

Seems a bit weird to me.

I don’t really like ornaments but if a friend sent me something like this when I had lost a pet, I would be really touched, as it’s so obviously intended as a kind gesture and I’d be touched that the person was thinking of me. I would find somewhere to display it in my home (assuming it’s a fairly small item) for a while and perhaps eventually retire it to a charity shop after some time had passed.

I would love this.

I don't do ornaments and would hate it I'm afraid. We received a packet of forget me not seeds from our vet. We've planted them around where our cat is buried and the bees have been very grateful. It's a pretty reminder which isn't clutter (we don't do clutter!)