Colleague wants her job back

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

I started with a new employer two years ago and got promoted to my dream position a year ago.
I get on brilliantly with my team and im loving it.
The only fly in the ointment is that the person who used to do my job is on the team in a role with more responsibility and she hates it,finds it hard and stressful and wishes she'd never applied.
She actually told me yesterday that she wants her old job back and could we swap if allowed?
This is putting me in an awkward position as im sympathetic towards the fact that shes regretting her decision but at the same time this is MY job we're talking about.
AIBU to think for the love of God tell other people this if you need to vent not me.

How come shes not on more than you then?

Absolutely not. Unless you are interested in the promotion. I can't think management would allow this anyway. Watch out fof her. She sounds like a manipulator out for herself.

I think i said in my previous post a bit more? Its not a massive amount

Depends. If you want her job go for it OR ask for a trial for one month.

THIS. Talk to your line manager and let them know about this conversation. She needs to leave you alone

people pleaser employees are an employers dream. I’ve known so many people take on promotions without a rise , some just to get a more fancy job title.

You've done nothing wrong. You applied for the role, earned the promotion, and by the sounds of it you're doing well and enjoying it. You shouldn't feel guilty because someone else regrets their career decision.
Hopefully it was just her venting rather than a genuine expectation, but I can completely understand why you'd rather she had that conversation with a friend, her manager, or someone else, not with the person whose job she's talking about taking back.

Eeerrr the employer may have something to say about who has what job considering they pay them

I think you could say very kindly and honestly that asking for such a move probably wouldn’t work well for her. Employers work on a cycle of spears promotions and exits. Not liking a job is a signal to look upwards or outside the firm, not downwards. She’d be signaling unhappiness, which sends the wrong message. Can she aim for further career progression?

@PrincessHoneysuckle Definitely speak to HR - actually, put it in writing while her comments are fresh in your mind.

She really shouldn't offer her job to you as a "swap", and who knows what she might shit-stir now you've <ahem> politely refused. 😁

Put it in writing today. Cover your back.

Er the answer is fuck off and tough shit - cheeky fucking bitch.

Another response

YANBU. That's a genuinely awkward thing for her to have put on you directly.
She's allowed to regret her decision and find her new role stressful — that's a normal, human thing to feel. But telling you, specifically, that she wants to swap back into your job isn't venting, it's floating a proposal that would require you to give up something you've said you love. That's a different category of conversation, and she should know that, which makes it a bit of a strange thing to raise so casually with the person it directly affects.
You're not obligated to manage her regret, and you're definitely not obligated to treat "could we swap?" as a reasonable ask just because she's unhappy. You worked for that promotion, you're thriving in it, and wanting to keep the job you earned isn't selfish — it would be a strange thing to feel guilty about.
If she raises it again, it's fair to be direct rather than just uncomfortable: something like "I really love this role and have no interest in giving it up — if you're finding things tough, that's probably worth raising with [manager/HR] rather than with me." That draws the line clearly and also correctly redirects her to the people who actually have the power to do anything about her situation, which isn't you.

Sad.
Don't please anyone unless they give you the same respect and care and remuneration back.

A nice and to the point reply so there is issues with her not understanding you thoughts on the suggestion. 😊

How unprofessional of her to approach you like this. No wonder a promotion is not suiting her.

I would not let yourself be dragged into a discussion about this with her, as a manager myself I would be very unhappy indeed if I found out my team members were having private conversations about swapping their jobs. If she is unhappy she needs to raise it with her manager and not involve you.