Colleague wants her job back

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

I started with a new employer two years ago and got promoted to my dream position a year ago.
I get on brilliantly with my team and im loving it.
The only fly in the ointment is that the person who used to do my job is on the team in a role with more responsibility and she hates it,finds it hard and stressful and wishes she'd never applied.
She actually told me yesterday that she wants her old job back and could we swap if allowed?
This is putting me in an awkward position as im sympathetic towards the fact that shes regretting her decision but at the same time this is MY job we're talking about.
AIBU to think for the love of God tell other people this if you need to vent not me.

She's sounded you out for a (not great) idea, you've said no. I don't think you have to think much more on it.

How bizarre she thinks you'd just literally swap jobs with her? Just tell her no. You enjoy your job. The fact she doesn't is absolutely not your problem.

She can ask for a demotion into another role? If it exists? But no. She can't have 'your job'. If she's unhappy she should seek work elsewhere.

Years ago I joined the company I am still with and after about 3 months was asked if I would be willing to go to the sales department I was in purchase for slightly more money as the lady that had got prompted into sales was not a good fit and expressed wanting to go back to purchase. In hind sight I think sales wanted that as well. I jumped at that as that was something that interested me much more than purchasing. So I would say if it benefits you go for it if offered if not then tell her you are happy where you are and sorry you either stick it out or look elsewhere either internally or externally. For me it worked out well and I am still there and am Shipping Supervisor.

It's a school. That's not how things work and she knows that.

Pastoral manager she is head of year

Knew it would be a school. My experience though is usually "oh no Mary has left. Let's give her responsibilities to Peter and Sarah under " any other duties" and save some money"
Next time she says this laugh and say "yeah this is a great job, no way i want to leave"

She can't just drop the HOY job, she will have been appointed with due process. If she is struggling, she'll have to go to her line manager (AHT?) who will then probably have to make arrangements for another appointment to be made. She'll just have to go back to being a MS classroom teacher.

Just say absolutely not - Not your problem.

You took on her job when there was a vacancy available. You didn't just go up to her and ask for her job.
Now the job you are doing, is yours.

There are procedures that take place when there is a vacancy available. You don't just swop places!
Obviously, she made a mistake thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

She will have to look for another vacancy and apply through the normal channels. Its no good her asking you.
Does she really think you will offer her your job?

Of course we can say without knowing. Because the disgruntled woman is being unreasonable and both she and the OP know this. It doesn’t matter what the roles are, it doesn’t matter what the jobs are.

Stick to your guns @PrincessHoneysuckle . Mention it to your manager as “ I am a bit worried about xxxxx, has she said anything to you because she keeps mentioning that she wants her old job back. Just want to let you know that I am very happy in the role and have no wish to move, but am concerned that xxxxis not happy in her new role”

Absolutely not! She made her decision and you have been in your job a year now, it’s not like it’s a couple of weeks in!
Don’t let her pressure/manipulate/guilt you in to saying anything than “Unfortunately that doesn’t work for me”.

Be very careful OP.

Let management know that she wants your job because her next move could be one of manipulation to try to get you out of it.

"I see Princess Honeysuckle is not coping as pastoral manager is she? She's wrecking everything I did in that role, I might have to return to that dept to sort it out".

Just make sure you are firm and say are happy in your current position. You don't want a change.

What department? It's a pastoral management role for a year group.
You're probably right about the manipulation though.
However, schools don't just swap jobs back and forth. It won't happen.

Ok Patricia dear, I'll consider myself told.

That's good, dear 😁

I don’t think you need to worry or feel awkward. I understand why she asked - you may very well be looking for a next step with more responsibility (not much extra pay but maybe a stepping stone to progress your career elsewhere). What doesn’t suit her may have been ideal for you. So she asked your thoughts about jointly approaching management to discuss a job swap. It doesn’t suit you so you can just say no, guilt free, and not worry about it. Her job satisfaction is not your responsibility but unless there is more to it - like she is pressuring you or guilt tripping you - just leave it be.

That’s a good approach to take. If she mentions again, say you’re happy with your to role and say that if she has concerns, she should speak to her manager.

Of course not. You may feel sympathy but her mistake shouldn't come at a cost to you.

So there's absolutely no incentive for you to change. She made the error of judgement, so it's her problem to deal with. Besides, she can't just go swapping roles around to suit herself.

What?????
That's crazy.
No way.

does She have the remit to coordinate a swap I doubt it. Just laugh in her face and say ‘ohhhhh you’ve done such a good job selling it’

And also not up to you

I would just treat this as a joke/light-hearted conversation; "Hell no, I'm loving my job, no plans to move at all". I wouldn't be going to HR unless she kept badgering you. If she's just sounding you out then the above shows where you stand without creating unnecessary drama.

This. I don't get all the drama. She asked a question, OP had the opportunity to reply (probably said no) end of. If anything else develops then it can be dealt with but for now surely its done.