AIBU to ask my parents to stay in a hotel?

[Nosuchthingastoomanypets]

My parents house is having some repair work done on it at the moment and my parents asked if they could stay with us until the work was done. We weren’t exactly jumping for joy at the prospect but reluctantly said yes because of the circumstances.

We are only a week into them being here and they have done nothing but moan. 😭

We have 2 children who are both home from university for the summer. They are working part time, going out and seeing friends, having friends over, sometimes coming home in the early hours from work or after being out socially, up late gaming some nights and just doing what young adults that age do. They do their share around the house and are respectful.

My parents are complaining that they are being woken up by our children coming home late, gaming at night and chatting to friends. The kids keep the noise to a minimum at night and come in quietly when it’s late but obviously they aren’t silent.

It’s not just nights. If my kids have friends visit in the daytime, my parents are questioning who they are and how long they’ll be here. They’re monitoring how much alcohol they’re drinking, what food their friends are eating at our house, what they’re doing in the garden like playing basketball, moaning about them playing music and reporting to us what time they and their friends came home and left. My parents say they have no privacy as there are always people in the house and when I say that they have a bedroom if they want privacy, they say they want to be able to sit downstairs and have peace.

We have told my parents that we aren’t prepared to tell our kids that they need to stop doing any of what they are doing and it’s not a problem to us.

We also have dogs and my parents expect them to be kept downstairs. Again, we have said no. They can close their bedroom door and not let the dogs in their room.

I am here to moan really, I feel like asking my parents to leave and go to a hotel until their house is ready if they don’t like it but I know this won’t go down well. How the hell do we all cope? My kids are fed up of being moaned at and questioned. My husband is also ready to tell them they need to leave. They could be here for another month or more yet as they have taken the opportunity to have some other updates done to their house 😭

feel like asking my parents to leave and go to a hotel until their house is ready if they don’t like it but I know this won’t go down well.

So? Do you have problems standing up to them?

It’s lifestyle incompatibility. My mum thinks it’s ridiculous my 20 yr old goes out at 11pm for evening or I allowed a female friend of hers to stay without knowing full particulars about her.
There’s an undercurrent of I shouldn’t be allowing it.
My dd is abroad working in her uni summer. It’s lovely your dc are at home you don’t want your summer spoiled because grandparents think everyone should have tea at 5pm and be in bed by 9pm. And up at 7am even if they are working until 2am or want to go to a concert.
Could the work be put off until a later date or alternative accommodation arranged.

Definitely send them on a cruise ... maybe a month?

Just tell them that it is your house and nothing is going to change. If they’re unhappy then they’re welcome to to a hotel.

I don't think you specifically ave to ask them to leave but you can say, "This is our home and the children are behaving in ways we consider completely acceptable. if it doesn't work for you, you are of course very welcome to go stay in a hotel."

Then, if they keep moaning,

"I can't keep listening to the moaning. I've already told you - either accept this, or go somewhere else."

Definitely sounds like they need to get somewhere that works for them rather than getting other people to adjust their lives to suit them

Agree with the above posters. Its your DCs' house, and your dogs' house too! Your parents are the guests and you are doing them a massive favour. I would keep saying I am not locking the dogs away and the DC can carry on, its not for them to comment on. Maybe ask if they would feel more comfortable elsewhere and you can help find an air bnb and they could just pop over for dinner or something, but honestly this is so rude and entitled of them!

Another vote for saying this, it's straightforward and fair, not unkind or sounding like you're actively trying to kick them out.

What's that old saying about house guests? Like fish, after 3 days they start to smell...

A cruise sounds like a great idea and they’re paying!!

I’m not quite sure why you have them. It’s fairly obvious older people want a quieter house and you resent their needs so why did anyone think this would work? Suggest they go home and monitor the building work and make coffees for the builders like everyone else does. Pretty easy to suggest this.