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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Footy causing relationship issue

49 replies

Trickyddboom · 02/07/2026 19:08

Aibu to think my dp is being a selfish person ? We are renovating and have 4.5 weeks for our wedding. The renovation has gone over timescale and I had hoped it would all be done and dusted by end of June . Tuesday night, I had a panic attack and was thinking of postponing wedding, due to the amount of work still needing doing and I wanted July to be a relaxing and enjoyable lead up to the wedding. Instead, we are still in chaos. He reassured me by saying we will do some work together in the evenings to speed things up. However, he came home last night after work, complained because I didn’t have a smile on my face to welcome him home and proceeded to get a can and put the footy on. So I reminded him about last nights statement and he replied “yeah but we don’t need to rush anything now do we because you did a lot here today”. He doesn’t have a tough long day job and he is 57, but I can’t help feeling he is so lazy! More to the point, why are they showing football at premium times of the evening? Surely at 5pm people want to have tea together or do some chores before settling for the evening??? First time posting here btw

OP posts:
Robertplantgoddess · 02/07/2026 19:10

It was on at 5pm as it is being held in America so it just happens to be 5pm in UK. I think to watch England as it is once every 4 years is ok if he is prepared to work the other nights.

saveforthat · 02/07/2026 19:10

The football is live. It's being shown when the match is being played. Spoiler, the next England match is 1am Monday.

Worriednanof1 · 02/07/2026 19:11

They show the game live, when people want to watch it. I can understand your stress and frustration but i would suggest to calm a little or there might be no wedding. Unfortunately you can't make people do what you want them to.

Vaxtable · 02/07/2026 19:11

ok I will bite

because it’s the world cup and that’s the time the match started as it’s being played in the US so has to account for the time difference. It’s not like it’s a daily thing

as to your partner up to you if you push him postpone or don’t even marry him. To me you sound like hard work. Why does everything have to be perfect surely it doesn’t matter if it’s done after the wedding.

BudgetBuster · 02/07/2026 19:11

Surely at 5pm people want to have tea together or do some chores before settling for the evening???

You do realise the games are played in the US.

Tbh sounds like you are stressed as so much going on. I don't see an issue with him watching the world cup... there isnt many games and its over in 90 mins.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 02/07/2026 19:12

The football is in the US, it’s a once in every 4 year sporting event. I personally wouldn’t begrudge an other wise good partner watching England in a once in 4 year event

Livpool · 02/07/2026 19:12

YABU - one night off isn’t going to cause any issues. Also - yes the football times are set to annoy you, HTH

RoseOliviaAu · 02/07/2026 19:13

Why does the renovation have any impact on your wedding? Presumably it’s not at the house? You need to try and relax… it doesn’t matter that your Reno won’t be done when you get married.

saveforthat · 02/07/2026 19:14

BudgetBuster · 02/07/2026 19:11

Surely at 5pm people want to have tea together or do some chores before settling for the evening???

You do realise the games are played in the US.

Tbh sounds like you are stressed as so much going on. I don't see an issue with him watching the world cup... there isnt many games and its over in 90 mins.

Well it's not really is it when you add on half time, possible injury time and hydration breaks? But of course he should be able to watch the football. This may be the year we win it.

LastoneYawning · 02/07/2026 19:14

Vaxtable · 02/07/2026 19:11

ok I will bite

because it’s the world cup and that’s the time the match started as it’s being played in the US so has to account for the time difference. It’s not like it’s a daily thing

as to your partner up to you if you push him postpone or don’t even marry him. To me you sound like hard work. Why does everything have to be perfect surely it doesn’t matter if it’s done after the wedding.

Oh no. I had one of these. Promise and then not deliver. Me trying to create some kind of calm and him just creating more chaos. Having DC made it 1000 times worse. They promise to shut you up, do enough to keep you hoping, but generally just want to avoid work. Let guess OP. You do the bulk of the domestic load?

Arlanymor · 02/07/2026 19:15

Erm, two points -

  • The football World Cup is being held in the USA and Mexico, so kick off times are in line with their local time zones, not the UK time zone
  • Renovations go over time so often it was already a really tight and potentially unrealistic deadline you were setting so close to your wedding

At the end of the day, living in a partially-renovated property shouldn't have a bearing on your wedding day. I'm sure it will great no matter what.

likelysuspect · 02/07/2026 19:16

I think people are unrealistic about how long it takes to do a house up

We're doing our top floor, it started months ago and its taking months. Our house is in chaos in the meantime. All the floors had to come up for plumbing, then had to wait for the eletricican, then need decorating, then need flooring, then need people to come and do skirting then need people to come and put furniture together, then electrician comes back

They're all fully booked so getting people round to even have a look takes time, weeks of waiting

We hope to be done by xmas certainly but in the meantime Im living out of boxes, all our furniture is squashed into one room downstairs from upstairs, had to throw a lot of it out so no wardrobes left.

Idlewilder · 02/07/2026 19:16

This reads like you might have meant to say, he does have a tough long day job? Have I misread this? And were you at home all day?

I think you are being quite harsh. A lot of people would want to relax and watch the football. It only happens every four years, and last night was England!

Obviously it's a stressful time running up to your wedding, but be careful you don't wreck what you have trying to make it all happen exactly the way you want it to. You're building a life here, not a day.

LastoneYawning · 02/07/2026 19:16

RoseOliviaAu · 02/07/2026 19:13

Why does the renovation have any impact on your wedding? Presumably it’s not at the house? You need to try and relax… it doesn’t matter that your Reno won’t be done when you get married.

It matters to her. And that’s valid. He agreed to help. Now he’s going back in that promise. If he’d said ‘I know what I said but I’m just going to watch this as it’s a one off. I will absolutely do XYZ tomorrow’ and then follows through with that then fine.

I suspect the OP has years of this to come.

Gardenisablooming · 02/07/2026 19:18

It's
The
World
Cup
Chill.

Bonkers1966 · 02/07/2026 19:19

Just forget about the England game and ponder your other concerns. Can you rely on this man? Do you really want to marry him this year?

CatamaranViper · 02/07/2026 19:28

Sorry OP, I'm with the others re the football.
I have a very vague, passing interest in it football but I always try to get involved during the world cup and the euros because it means a lot to my husband and kids. You can't change the times so it's much easier to roll with the punches.

Livpool · 02/07/2026 19:30

LastoneYawning · 02/07/2026 19:16

It matters to her. And that’s valid. He agreed to help. Now he’s going back in that promise. If he’d said ‘I know what I said but I’m just going to watch this as it’s a one off. I will absolutely do XYZ tomorrow’ and then follows through with that then fine.

I suspect the OP has years of this to come.

Show quote history

Well the match matters to him. It’s one night, in the grand scheme of things is doesn’t matter. I don’t hold myself to such standards, that I might be tired to change my mind, so keep the same approach for others.

GimmieABreakOr3 · 02/07/2026 19:33

Yabu. It’s the World Cup, and it’s one or a couple of matches. Let the guy have his joy.

Also, I think it was a bad idea to renovate at the same time as getting married. Your expectations seem unrealistic.

Honeyhonayboo · 02/07/2026 19:33

I really don’t understand what your wedding has to do with renovating. It all just sounds so over the top, he probably doesn’t actually see or agree with your perspective and is being a nodding dog to keep the peace.

The reality of there aren’t that many England matches, it’s not really the cause of any of your issues.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 02/07/2026 19:43

Surely the renovation and your wedding are two entirely separate things? Why would it matter if house isn’t finished before you get married? I don’t get it.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 02/07/2026 20:13

Yesterday was the England match. I’d have been relaxed - if he does it for every single match and not just our games, yeah, I’d yell at him.

That said, it was over by 7, wasn’t it? He could have got off his arse and done 3hours? I regularly decorated until past midnight during our renovation and was up again by 630 to sort the kids and get them to school.

Ablondiebutagoody · 02/07/2026 20:14

Rennovations always take longer than you think they will. If the deadline is self-imposed, can't you just extend it?

Generallychill · 02/07/2026 20:40

Renivation usually run over. Just focus on your wedding and try not to sweat the small stuff.
Its the world cup and it was England playing as well so of course he wanted to watch the match and not do some more work.
Just to let you know in case you dont the next match is vs Mexico on Monday morning at 1am..

grumpygrape · 02/07/2026 20:51

I have bugger all interest in the football, except I hope my county's team does well.

However, a few questions, the answers to which I think might help for clarity. He's 57, how old are you? How long have you been together? Why do you feel the renovations have to be completed before your wedding?

Is this real ?