to expect to collect a clean baby from the childminder?

[Fragolina]

Had my first trial half-day with DD1's new childminder yesterday. Collected DD in the late afternoon, and she was fast asleep in her pushchair. When we got home, and I lifted her out of the chair, I realised her vest was all damp, she had quite a bit of sick on her shoulder, and her chin and neck were covered in bits of dried milk. The childminder had commented that DD had put up a fuss when feeding, and quite a lot of milk had gone down her bib (which is why she wasn't wearing it). Initially I assumed DD had put up a fuss, milk went everywhere, and then she'd fallen asleep, so childminder decided not to disturb her. However, when I looked in her little book, the note said that the childminder had given her a nappy change after her feed.

AIBU to expect her to have wiped DD's face and chin and given her a change of clothes at the same time, rather than leaving her to sleep in a damp vest? I'd provided plenty of clothes and bibs in the change bag!

Maybe I'm just being over protective with my PFB!

Is this worth bringing up when I next see the childminder, or is it just going to sour the relationship? What would be a diplomatic way of doing so? Would anyone think this was reason enough to change childminder? I don't think so, but that's more because she had really good references than because I've built up a good relationship with her (too soon to say).

Well, your childminder should have changed her if she was very wet

but MOST babies/children leave nurseries/childminders covered in food/glitter/etc and that is the sign of a good day!

just say to your CM that if your DD gets very wet/mucky to please change her - won't sour the relationship

I think you're expecting too much perfection & should chill a bit.

Maybe your CM's standards of cleanliness are not your own?

What about her house? The other children she cares for?

I would not have liked my baby not to be changed out of dirty clothing (and she has very fragile skin, and when she was little it was vital that she be cleaned up straight away to avoid rashes), but some people don't think babies need to be kept clean.

God if you saw some of the states my mindees go home in

nappy shouldnt be wet, but possibly she fell asleep before CM had a chance to change it again, if she changed it after her feed then she had been changed, (some children do need changing more than others, I have one who needs changing every hour, another once in the morning)

My parents always say the muckier they are the more fun have had.

Please do NOT put a childminded child in good clothes.

I would expect my baby not to be left in wet clothing and always have clean nappies. Personally I would only worry if my baby was returned in clean clothes and no stains every day. Babies are not supposed to be clean, are they?

Same standards as Fairymum.

Babies are not supposed to be clean. Unless they were changed just before pick up (which I don't feel is necessary and increases my laundry workload), clean means the babies were not allowed to do anything for themselves, particularly self-feeding or get mucky - which paradoxically means less work and mess for the carer/CM to clear up but is actually not good for the babies' development.

Mucky baby = happy baby.

Hmm - it's tricky. Childminders have other children to run around after, and tbh if my DD2 comes home covered in mud / paint / food then I take it as a sign that she's had a good day, and feel thankful that the childminder is clearly letting her assert her independence (probably more so that I do as I'm a bit anal!).

Clean nappy is of course essential
Clean clothes - well, it was very warm yesterday so she was probably fine.
Clean face - unless her skin is very sensitive or she was caked in it, that's probably fine too.

I think you have to let the CM have different standards from the ones you have at home with only one or two DCs to look after.

My DD never comes home completely clean from nursery, signs of a good day, she had sand in her shoe yesterday, tshirt was a tad wet and she had blue paint up her arm lol!! sign she had a good day of fun

Fragolina, I would have expected your cm to change your dd1 out of her milk-damp vest (because she could catch a chill) and sick (for hygiene reasons). Fair enough not wanting to wake your dd1 but she should have done it during the nappy change.

But if it is just bits of food and dirt, I am ok with it.

Definitely mention to your cm. And hopefully she will take your concerns seriously.

DS often comes out of nursery filthy (but happy and having had lots of fun!)
I wouldnt say anything personally.
If you do want to say something though, say it along the lines of 'i forgot to mention that dd had really sensitive skin, would you mind changing her clothes if they get wet/milk on them, i'll put spare clothes in the bag' and she cant take offence at that.

Damp vest and sick on her shoulder. That's vile, she should have changed her. From what you have posted I don't like the sound of this childminder.

A bit of dried food on her clothes or face wouldn't be an issue, but imagine being left all damp. No wonder she put up a fuss.

Frag wasitdamp near nappy area or coulave jusd it ht been she got too warm in pushchair.
Maybe she got sick after/when she fell aslep.

It's so hard leaving your lo but they often come home mucky etc.

typing with dd on my lap !

was the vest damp because your baby had got sweaty whilst asleep?

I would have thought that the CM should have mentioned the damp vest and sick - but maybe if she was sleepy after lunch, then to strip her off and change her would have woken her up - how old is she, by the way? It would depend upon how many other mindees she had at that time, as well - as it can be quite difficult to keep them all clean!

My son goest to a CM and has been for 6 months - he loves it, but can come home very messy with food or grass stains - I was quite specific with her when we started, by saying dont change him unless he is far too mucky to go in the car - he often goes with a 'breakfast face' - which id wiped before I leave the house, but appears from somewhere! I would rather have a messy child who had fun rather than a clean tidy child who had not been allowed to have fun!

It might be better to raise the issue in causual chat by saying how a friends child goes to nursery and they all get changed into new clothes ready to fgo home - yuou may get a feel for her perspective on clothes / feeding mess and kiddies.

I dont think this is very good, especially not on a trial visit when you would think the CM would be trying to impress.
I dont mind kids being a bit grubby (you should see mine half the time ) but I dont like the damp vest, sick or unclean face. Things like paint, mud etc I think are acceptable though.
Obviously its very early in your relationship with this CM, but those things would all make me worry.

oh dear, this would piss me off big time. how long does it take to slip a new gro on and vest. I wouldnt mind too much about sickly bits and general dirt but to leave baby wet, its not on.

Wet nappy not OK. Dirty toddler or older not a problem - they need to get dirty to have a good time! But with a baby I don't see the need. However I wouldn't let it put you off if the CM is good in other ways.

well, just to be clear, DD was wet all along the bib area, up to halfway down her chest - so not a question of sweating in the pram. CM had removed her bib, but didn't do anything about wet vest. She had changed lo's nappy after the vest was all damp, but didn't bother about a change of clothes. DD is 5months, so not yet sitting up unaided and able to get mucky on her own with mud and glitter - all of which I'd find acceptable. Also not yet on solids, so not a question of picking up lo with a foody face. Baby had remained outside, in her pram with a wet vest for over 2 hours (feed was at 2:30, and I picked her up at 5:00). How annoyed should I be - don't want to overreact and be all PFB about it - equally though don't want to ignore it if this is a sign that the CM isn't looking after DD properly. Will definitely say something, but am now wondering if I should reconsider using this CM, or is that harsh? This was the first trial half day though - doesn't really bode well for the future.

Fragolina - I would not be happy either. I would definately say something to child minder first. Do you have any other trial half days?

There is a definate difference between coming home covered in muck ie paint, glitter, food etc which is all acceptable and sometimes a sign of a good day! I used to pick my DS up from nursery aged 11 mths with food stuck in hair.

Dried sick & milk is different especially when you know how long it is been on her.

Frag - I think you are right to be abit annoyed. I would just casually mention it if you can.

You're being precious. Babies get dirty, and sleep is more important.

She was asleep outside for 2 hours in wet clothes? I wouldn't have liked that to be honest but maybe where you are has nicer weather.

Maybe the clothes were clean when he put her in her pushchair to sleep and she didn't want to wake her to change in case she couldn't settle her? Maybe the baby was a bit cratchity when having the nappy done and she didn't want to upset her more by changing her clothes too?

I used to be a nanny and I would never have left a child in anything wet, even a slight bit tbh.