to expect to collect a clean baby from the childminder?

[Fragolina]

Had my first trial half-day with DD1's new childminder yesterday. Collected DD in the late afternoon, and she was fast asleep in her pushchair. When we got home, and I lifted her out of the chair, I realised her vest was all damp, she had quite a bit of sick on her shoulder, and her chin and neck were covered in bits of dried milk. The childminder had commented that DD had put up a fuss when feeding, and quite a lot of milk had gone down her bib (which is why she wasn't wearing it). Initially I assumed DD had put up a fuss, milk went everywhere, and then she'd fallen asleep, so childminder decided not to disturb her. However, when I looked in her little book, the note said that the childminder had given her a nappy change after her feed.

AIBU to expect her to have wiped DD's face and chin and given her a change of clothes at the same time, rather than leaving her to sleep in a damp vest? I'd provided plenty of clothes and bibs in the change bag!

Maybe I'm just being over protective with my PFB!

Is this worth bringing up when I next see the childminder, or is it just going to sour the relationship? What would be a diplomatic way of doing so? Would anyone think this was reason enough to change childminder? I don't think so, but that's more because she had really good references than because I've built up a good relationship with her (too soon to say).

Dump the childminder, it sounds like you want to. I thnk you will feel better if you do. Find one who doesn't think it's ok to leave a baby outside in wet clothes.
Sorry, but that's just laziness, it takes a few minutes to change a baby. poor thing.

LOL Desi

Speak to cm find out her side maybe she was not sure when to disturb/leave etc as she was getting used to your child maybe she thought she would only sleep 10 mins so would have changed her when she woke up believe me first week or so is all about settlin in your daughter but also making sure you and child minder happy if further problems cut losses imagine you have 2-4 week settling in period if she uses ncma contracts

Speak to cm find out her side maybe she was not sure when to disturb/leave etc as she was getting used to your child maybe she thought she would only sleep 10 mins so would have changed her when she woke up believe me first week or so is all about settlin in your daughter but also making sure you and child minder happy if further problems cut losses imagine you have 2-4 week settling in period if she uses ncma contracts

Speak to cm find out her side maybe she was not sure when to disturb/leave etc as she was getting used to your child maybe she thought she would only sleep 10 mins so would have changed her when she woke up believe me first week or so is all about settlin in your daughter but also making sure you and child minder happy if further problems cut losses imagine you have 2-4 week settling in period if she uses ncma contracts

I can see it's reasonable to expect my children to come home from cm or nursery covered in paint, sand everywhere [including in nappy most likely] and suchlike, and i only send them there in their hand-me-downs (cos they will have great fun and I will have no stress!!) but not wet/sicky/milk on a baby. I think YANBU and if you are concerned about it then mention it. You don't need to make a big deal out of it, and if you want to make light of it a little then say you're being a protective new mum etc etc, but still make the point anyway. otherwise you'll worry yourself daft and it's not something you should get stressed over. every cm i've met would be quite happy to hear your concerns and not take it as an insult

YANBU. It is not the way a baby should be left. I would expect a CM to keep my child the way I would. My brother had a problem with his CM, his DD came home covered in food every day. It was like CM had not used a bib and I think that it is fair to expect a baby to be cleaned up

I would not be happy if my child been left in a damp vest with sick on it, whether nb or older, nor would my nursery leave them in that state. Muckiness is good, it means they've been up to fun and mischief. I have a dd who styles her hair with wheetabix but being smelly and physically uncomfortable is not good. Babies have simple needs and comfort and warmth are two of them.

I would have said something like, "Oh dear you're all damp and wet and you've been sick, well we'll soon get you changed" and then say, "If she's sick like this will you change her please. I don't mind the washing!"

Frag, hope this is ok but if you decide to change minders I can highly recommend one(I am a minder and I would happily leave my own DDs with her). I noted from your profile that we are probably in the same area so if I can help feel free to contact me.

mummyandi, you would be surprised how much children can get on themselves despite wearning a bib. My son being a case in point.

Perhaps you could check whether the cm uses a bib and if not, supply one.

Thanks for the suggestion hennipenni - can't contact you via mumsnet though, so please get in touch with me: faridina at hotmail dot com. Thanks

Blueshoes - I did supply several bibs actually, along with a couple of changes of clothes, and the CM just took off the wet bib, didn't replace it or the wet vest.

YANBU.

Mucky, mobile toddlers getting grubby after being stuck into activities are fine, but a milk fed, non mobile baby shouldn't be left in a wet vest for that long.

Talk to her, or move your baby