AIBU to object to an older child sitting directly in a food trolley?

[KidsDoBetter]

Local m&s food hall. An older lady (presumably) grandma - is wheeling around one of the small size metal shopping trolleys. Inside it is a girl about 8 cross-legged (she takes up most of the space obvs) wearing a pair of crocs. The soles of which are filthy (as indeed would be mine). Chatting away and delighted with herself. It was lovely she was enjoying being with her granny. No signs of disability (later saw them in car park).

As they stood beside me I did say “that looks like fun but you do know people put their food in there and you’ve got your shoes in it”. Grandma tutted and said “forget about it” in a slight non-sequitur . But it’s gross right. This was not a baby / toddler seat trolley. Nor was the child any younger than 7 max …

Really!

I'm going to give some examples and I want you to imagine that the offender is a woman in all cases. I say this because if it was a man, it might make sense, for personal safety, not to intervene but even then, I hope you would seek help.

Anyway, here goes with our offending woman whose actions do not have any effect on your own life.

Would you chastise or intervene if you saw someone in the car next to you emptying the rubbish from their car onto the ground?

Would you chastise or intervene if you saw a dog locked in a car with closed windows in a heatwave?

Would you chastise or intervene if you saw a cyclist riding on a pavement and knocking over an old person?

Would you chastise or intervene if you saw a teenagers playing roughly on park equipment designed for tots?

Would you chastise or intervene if someone had a shit on the pavement?

Would you chastise intervene if someone racially abused a stranger sitting next to you on the bus?

Would you chastise or intervene if you saw someone spit on fresh produce in the supermarket?

Would you chastise or intervene if you saw a man hit a woman?

Would you take charge of a three year old who was clearly lost?

If we all took your attitude-nothing to do wiv me mate-society will soon fall apart at a faster rate then it is already doing.

Your attitude is nothing to boast about because one day, someone will do something morally or criminally wrong that does affect you and no-one will come to help.

OP. You did exactly the right thing.

Hopefully you shamed this shameless woman because it is about time that shame and judgement became forces that helped to keep those, who cannot discipline themselves, in check.

Well done!

The safety aspect is what really bothers me. It's really not hard to see how an accident would happen. And they do as this Mumsnetter will attest.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4510034-Child-fell-out-of-shopping-trolley-worried

But don't worry there are indeed no win no fee law firms who specialise in supermarket trolley accidents which perhaps indicates just how common it is.

You know people put all sorts in trolleys, like multipacks of drinks that have been sitting on dirty warehouse floors.
Most trolleys live outside where birds can poo on them, the horror!
Just give trolleys a wipe if you're so bothered.

I always wipe trolleys/baskets due to food allergies, that's more concerning to me that there might be remains of food left behind from an unsealed container.

Wow.

I’ve never even considered the hygiene (or lack of) of trolleys 😅

I assume most M&S food is packaged so is not directly touching the trolley?!

Do you not take the food out of its packaging and rub it against the poo trolley?

I do. My immune system is iron strong now!

I always judge people who put their children in the main part of the trolley. Scummy behaviour.

🤣🤣🤣

A child sat in a shopping trolley is akin to racist abuse, domestic violence, locking dogs in hot cars and shitting on the pavement 😭

I love mumsnet so much

My son always climbs into the trolley and honestly I've NEVER thought about the fact he's got his shoes on. I assume the trolley trolley is disgusting anyway so my concern is more that he doesn't lick any part of it. The stuff that goes at the bottom of the trolley is things like packets of detergent that are going on the floor at home so it's really not a concern.
And we're a zero shoes indoors household, if that makes a difference.

I hate when people involve themselves in other people's business. You're lucky Grandma didn't tell you to fuck off. It's literally nothing to do with you.

I've put my kids in trollies loads of times and I love the idea that someone walking near me was fuming.

I must admit I hate it when I see a child of any age inside the trolley as I too think it unhygienic - but if it's true what is said above that rats etc. are climbing round in them overnight then maybe I should stop thinking it's that dirty!
But having worked in a supermarket and seen (and heard) children fall out of trollies, I think it's a pretty stupid thing to do. I'll never forget the bang of a child's head on the floor, it haunts me, so I never understand why people put their children in such danger - just lazy parenting!

I do think it's unhygienic and I do think it's unpleasant but I also think you should ask yourself would you have challenged a man doing this with his child or a younger woman doing this with her child or did you just feel that it was okay to do this to an older lady

I put YABU for this reason - just because you saw a child walking for 30 seconds, doesnt mean you can tell their ability to stand and walk around for a longer period of time. While he doesnt sit in a trolley, my friends primary school age son has muscular issues and sometimes had to be pushed in a stroller on longer days out. He can walk, but not for hours. Nosey people would make comments about too old for a stroller, they have no idea.

It’s a shopping trolley? you were rude and unpleasant

When you have seen the conditions in which items are stored and transported, someone’s shoes in a trolley pale into insignificance. It’s not worth worrying about OP.

I think this comment is a little OTT. There are trollies designed for older children to sit in if needed but if they can climb into a trolley then they can't have such a condition. And sitting in where people place their food is nothing like being pushed around in a stroller.

Hmmn!

Have you ever heard of the Zero Tolerance approach?
Let the little things slide and you you will soon be sitting under an avalanche.

Difficult concept to grasp isn't it! 😄

Never mind, plenty do understand it and it will benefit those who don't-that includes you and you're very welcome.

The person who should ‘get a life’ is the nosey Parker who decided to ruin someone’s day over a total non issue. It wasn’t dangerous and the germ factor is minimal. Eye rolling and tutting is the polite response, I’m sure many would have been much more vocal if op said this to them.

Were you planning on licking the trolley, OP? A child’s feet are the least of your worries! Leaking meat juices, potential rodent/bird excrement if stored outside… I could go on. I never assume that a trolley is clean, nor would I put any unwrapped food in contact with one.

When DD was young and I needed to fit in an after school shop then she very often sat in the trolley - as a single mum, anything that made life easier in a busy shop with a tired 6yo was worth doing.

Its pretty grim and generally either lazy parenting or entitlement. I know people will argue the child may have a disability etc but I have a disabled teenager. He was hell to shop with when he was younger because of his disabilities however I would never have risked his safety by sitting him in trolley basket area. I read a story of a parent whose did it and put the baby in the baby seat. The trolley tipped and both kids got injured (one badly). She then tried to sue the supermarket. The court threw it out and put the blame purely back on the mother for failing to safeguard her child. The poor kids though.

Everyone who is saying its ok as the trolleys are not clean, whould they be saying the same thing if covid was still a danger.
I think putting an older child inside a trolly is disgusting. They are not a fun fair ride.l

I’ve used the main trolley before for my older child who has an invisible disability. The disabled trolleys are few and far between. I also tend to leave the house without a sandwich board attached to her announcing to the public what her invisible disability is, so to you and other people who maybe aren’t well versed in disabilities that aren’t accompanied by ‘obvious’ symptoms , it might look like a parent who’s shoved their child in the trolley for sheer convenience . But for me it means I can do the shopping safely for my children, and my disabled daughter can enjoy the experience and feel it’s accessible to her.

You have ZERO clue if this child was disabled. There are a vast amount of conditions that are now considered disabled so you are being wholly unreasonable and completely ignorant and ableist to make such a sweeping generalisation based off of a few minutes of observation.

You think the metal is clean? Feet or none it won’t ever be cleaned.

and also - get a hobby.

Seriously trolleys are one of the dirtiest things around.

Urine, snot, faeces etc. All the people who never wash their hands and wheel the trolley. It's a cease pit and just a fact of life.

Personally I would have just minded my own business and had a chuckle at the child in the trolley and the granny. I also would have retorted too if I was the granny but I'm petty !!!

YANBU it is gross, and I would likely have reacted as you did. Granny in this case probably thinks it’s ok for her to do this but would be aghast if someone else did it.

I’m sorry, if they can climb into the trolley they can’t have such a condition? Can they not ?? What research is that based off? Because to me climbing into a trolley and walking for a significant period of time are two different things, using various different muscles and a certain amount of energy. You can’t just say ‘ they can’t have a condition’ purely because you say so. People with disabilities can do a myriad of things that might look hard to you and then not be able to do things that look more simple, it’s not black and white? Also no mention in original post of the girl being seen to climb into and out of the trolley, the presumed grandma could have lifted her for all we know