To go cold turkey on dummies

[duckrebellion]

DS is 5, DD is 3, and they both still have dummies. Not just at bedtime, but through the day too. As soon as DS gets in from school he finds one and puts it straight in his mouth. They don't have them out, but when they're at home or in the car they almost always have it. It drives me mad, I know they're way too old for them.

The dentist says it's having an effect on DS's teeth (there's a gap between his top and bottom front teeth when his mouth is closed) and we should get rid ASAP. DD's teeth are going the same way too.

I want to go cold turkey and just bin them all, but DH says I'm being mean. He thinks we should do it gently and get DS to agree to it, trouble is that hasn't worked so far. In the past we've tried the dummy fairy, reward charts, giving it to santa, bribes, and more, it always results in DS point blank refusing or throwing a massive tantrum causing one of us to give in. He also thinks we shouldn't get rid of DD's because she's still little, even though DS will just use her's if they're around.

I feel really guilty about it because it's a real comfort to both of them, but at this point I don't know what else to do. Would I be a terrible mummy to just bite the bullet and bin them?

I did cold turkey and it was absolutely fine. Oh and no presents either. In a week they'll have forgotten and so will you. I would be wary about rewarding basic development with gift giving.

I did too. Mine used to fling them out of the cot then scream for them, several times a night. One night in exhaustion took the scissors and cut them all up! She was 2, I think.

Get rid. It’s neglect not to.

Stuff gently. Go cold turkey.

We used to use one with DD when she slept. When she was still quite young, we decided not to and just stopped.

First night, slightly more difficult getting her to sleep. Second night, totally normal, no issues.

He also thinks we shouldn't get rid of DD's because she's still little, even though DS will just use her's if they're around.
Does your DH know that NHS recommends no dummies after 12 months and does he realise they don't actually need them all at any age. Why do people continue with them for so long.

Good point or not give them dummies at all in the first place then parents wouldn't have this problem.

Yes you need to bin them. Just gather them all up and chuck them.

I did it when DD turned two, I traded all the dummies for a gift, I can’t remember what it was but it was sparkly pink and something I wouldn’t normally buy.

Having a dummy at 3 is bad and at 5 it’s very bad. You need to get DH on side so maybe spam him with research and parenting articles or just lay down the law.

You can do it! It’ll be tough but you have to do it.

Because your daughter was embarassed or you were @GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER ?

Dummies are recommended in the early months as they reduce the instances of SIDS.

source @Honeyhonayboo ?

I mean you could have looked it up in less time?

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5049485/

The Lullaby Trust also states Some research suggests that using a dummy during sleep can lower the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

I knew it would be from more than a decade ago

Did you now.

Yup

I think we all did 😆

A decade is not considered out of date in terms of medical studies, particularly when the other things around safe sleep haven’t radically changed, or at all, during that time.
The studies pointing to dummy use showing lower SIDS rates has been consistently reevaluated, most recently in 2024, and it was concluded that the findings still remained supportive of dummy use consistently leading to lower SIDS rates.

Dentist here. Well done for doing it. Hope last night went well.
their teeth and palate will have literally been growing around the dummy.

Oh dear. Yes it is.

Doubt you’ll be able to post anything compelling from recent years

The studies pointing to dummy use showing lower SIDS rates has been consistently reevaluated, most recently in 2024, and it was concluded that the findings still remained supportive of dummy use consistently leading to lower SIDS rates.

so why did you not link to this source rather than one more than a decade old?

Sorry didn't know. This wasn't a thing 25 odd years ago.

As a start, keep all dummies in bedrooms, then they get used to associating them only with sleep. Once this is done and they are used to that it should be easier to get rid completely. My DC had them only in bed from about 18 months then happily gave them to Santa about a year after that.

It’s only applicable in the first few (6 to 8?) months anyway, after which the risk of SIDS significantly reduces.
Zero excuse for not removing it for five years!

As a Speech and Language Therapist I want to address your comment about your child’s teeth not being affected. It is true that not every child who uses a dummy impacts speech, number of ear infections or teeth - but some do. I am sure this is to do with the way they position the dummy and where the movement is made. Just because there are people saying their child is not affected I still advise that 2 years is the maximum age is the time to say goodbye.

We held on longer than I wanted at 18m to allow for a transatlantic flight (for his ears). We said "boppies" are for babies and for airplanes. Are you a baby? No! Are you still on the airplane? No!

He was good to get rid when we returned home. He put them in the bin himself and I cut any that we found later so we didn't fall into any bad habits.

Having it tied to that event was really helpful for us.