To go cold turkey on dummies

[duckrebellion]

DS is 5, DD is 3, and they both still have dummies. Not just at bedtime, but through the day too. As soon as DS gets in from school he finds one and puts it straight in his mouth. They don't have them out, but when they're at home or in the car they almost always have it. It drives me mad, I know they're way too old for them.

The dentist says it's having an effect on DS's teeth (there's a gap between his top and bottom front teeth when his mouth is closed) and we should get rid ASAP. DD's teeth are going the same way too.

I want to go cold turkey and just bin them all, but DH says I'm being mean. He thinks we should do it gently and get DS to agree to it, trouble is that hasn't worked so far. In the past we've tried the dummy fairy, reward charts, giving it to santa, bribes, and more, it always results in DS point blank refusing or throwing a massive tantrum causing one of us to give in. He also thinks we shouldn't get rid of DD's because she's still little, even though DS will just use her's if they're around.

I feel really guilty about it because it's a real comfort to both of them, but at this point I don't know what else to do. Would I be a terrible mummy to just bite the bullet and bin them?

Poke holes in them. Next time they suck it won’t feel the same, and they will not want them.

Good luck OP! You’re doing the right thing. I’d add in a large dose of bribery/reward with ice lollies after school, a special toy promised at the weekend etc etc.

Read the Noo Noo Tree and bury them!

Seriously, you must get rid! What on earth will the 5 year old do on play dates? Can he speak with the dummy in? It’s actually an addiction and yes, they will have a tantrum, but it’s got to happen. Makes me shudder reading about it.

No point in dragging it out. Ours got sent to the North Pole for Santa’s elves, all in one go.

Speech and language therapist here - spent 40 years having conversations like this with parents. (Because dummies can affect speech if they get used to talking with them in their mouths). Cold turkey is the only way to go. You do need to have a dummy scavenger hunt when you start so DC don’t find them. You could always put them in an envelope and “send them to the poor babies”. Not the truth, but it might make them feel better.

You have made your life a bit harder because you have used typical strategies and given in. You have taught your children that by having a tantrum they will get a new dummy. It might take a day or two longer - but you are the parents so take charge.

As parents you absolutely don’t give in. The 3 yr old is for sure not too little. They won’t remember. They will know if their dummy shaped teeth require orthodontic treatment and wonder why you didn’t sort it out.

I have known children who became hoarse on the first day of crying and by day four they have learned that the dummy has gone. For Good.

Come back in five days and tell us what happened!

Just throw them all away. You are damaging their teeth! They will get over it

Five is way too old to still want a dummy but you know that.
You can’t limit their use, to me that’s actually being cruel. Just chuck them out (we did the dummy fairies thing) and just say they’re both too old for them now because they’re not babies.

Meant to also say, you might have a rough time for a bit but it’s worth it in the long run.

Your husband is being ridiculous. And very lazy. Get rid. They are both several years too old for dummies.

it always results in DS point blank refusing or throwing a massive tantrum causing one of us to give in

oh. Dear.

We did cold turkey for both at aged 3. I've taken my kids to see the dentist since they got their first teeth so was very aware they needed to go asap around that age.
If you have tried the usual reward, dummy fairy, santa tricks with your eldest and have always gone back, it is going to be hard for a few days/weeks until they understand you arent going to go back this time.

We had a similar issue with baby bottles, they were still the only thing my DS would drink from at age 2. We put them all in a nice bag for the "baby bottle fairy", next day they were gone and the fairy had left a few chocolate buttons or something 😉. DS was fine, never asked for a bottle again.

Absolutely thats far too old, Im actually really shocked. Dummies are for babies. Tell them that, bin them all. Theyll adjust

Mistake - the book is The Last Noo Noo. You bury the dummies. Why would any parent keep giving in knowing dummies are bad for teeth and speech? How can children speak when sucking a dummy? The mind boggles!

Your husband's being a dummy about this.

Toss them. One child's teeth are already affected. This isn't rocket science. If something you're doing is causing harm to your child, stop it.

Do it @duckrebellion! Go cold turkey and tell DH he can be the one to take them for the multitude of orthodontic appointments they will 100% need when they are old enough, because sadly (and speaking from experience) the damage is already done

Be firm, because you're doing them no favours whatsoever by continuing to let them damage their teeth/bite

Cold turkey is the only way. Both of mine before 3. I felt guilty but they soon got over it. 5 is way too old. 3 ish pushing it.

bin them. Like properly. Don’t keep any ‘just in case’ an dig deep knowing it’s best for their teeth when they cry for it. They will soon get over it

Sorry : you're too lazy to pick up the dummies!!?? Just do your job.

And stop buying them!

You'll need it. It sounds like DH doesn't want the aggro of parenting and you'll be forced to be Mean Mummy while he sits back and says he doesn't want to get involved because he didn't support the change (read:hassle) in the first place.

So good luck. You're doing the right thing.

Well, they both should pick them up and toss them but her husband will probably hide a few in case of tantrum.

Aren't they sort of like Legos? Like step on them and they hurt? And ewwwwww to the kids popping them in their mouth straight from the floor.

That's a bit of a reach there.

Don’t do it tomorrow, wait till Friday. I speak from experience. Mine had them at night only at 5 but we got him a cuddly dinosaur he wanted and went for it. But it took ages to get him to sleep the first night and quite a long time the next so I wouldn’t start on a school night.

My dd2 didn’t give hers up voluntarily until she was almost 6.
Her teeth have always been perfect.

I had never wanted or intended to use dummies, but she had 3 months’ colic and it was the only thing that seemed to give her any relief.

TBH I consider thumbs much more of an issue. DD1 sucked her thumb from day one, and didn’t stop until after she’d learned to drive! - and yes, her teeth were affected, though thankfully not too badly.

Edited to add, there is a brilliant children’s book called The Last Noo Noo, about a monster eventually giving up his dummy - very funny! Don’t know whether it’s still in print, but still available 2nd hand, I bet.

If you’re looking for a compromise with your DH it would be dummies for bedtime only, as an interim step towards them being gone for good, for both children as that’s the only way it’ll work. My DD had one till she was 4 so I definitely left it longer than I should for an easy life, but that was bedtime only from the age of 2 when she dropped daytime naps. I’d have been mortified if anyone saw her with one at 4, and she herself would have been embarrassed to have one once she started school.