AIBU to mention seeing my friend's baby crying at nursery?

[idontfeellikedancin]

I was walking by a nursery this morning and was aware of hearing a very upset baby. As I passed I saw my friend’s baby sitting in a baby swing seat. She was crying hard, not screaming, but the sound was very upsetting. A member of staff was facing her but not within reach and not offering any words of comfort. Again, I was not trying to look but I did stop, sort of dumbfounded when I realised I knew the baby. It’s hard to explain the fencing but you obviously don’t get a clear view, it’s just a quick sliver of a view as you pass. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it had I not known the baby. She was just on this swing sobbing her heart out. I walked on once I’d given my head a wobble(!) but it’s been niggling me!

My friend did say that settling had been rough, but that was a month ago (so the settling would have been prior to that).

I will see her tomorrow and I’m wondering if I should say anything? Would you? I obviously don’t want to worry her, but it really concerned me that her baby was being left to cry in a swing (possibly put in a swing because she was crying?). Any nursery workers able to shed light?

In reality you don’t know the full picture - she may have literally just put the baby into that rocking seat and was giving her a few minutes, whilst she sat near by, to settle. After you left, she may well have picked baby up! You don’t know the full picture.
Now it could have been lazy practice, it could have been a practitioner trying another method (or first method) to soothe baby, it could have been baby was more in distress being held and the swing or whatever else it was normally works but takes some time. Baby could have been in that seat whilst practitioners were desperately trying to get milk cooled down or wait for someone higher to approve medicine etc.

This is why I don’t like cameras in the rooms for parents to watch whenever they want. I understand their pros, but the con is if you click on at just the wrong moment, ie the second your child starts to scream (and say for an older child, it could be because they’ve hurt someone or snatched a toy or whatever) you could get the very end of a stick.

I worked in nurseries for nearly a decade. Yes sadly you can get neglectful carers. You also however have carers who love babies and ultimately are juggling the needs of more babies than most parents will experience at home, and sometimes that means a baby has to cry whilst another child is being comforted / fed / changed / having whatever need met whilst this baby’s bottle heats up and another baby is cleaned because their nappy exploded.

I think you will worry the mum. The practitioner may be new and advised to try 5 minutes in the swing before picking them up. You don’t know. I think you will cause more anguish and potentially false allegations if you talk to the mum.

This is why anyone who wants ratios reduced in order to bring their costs down needs to give their heads a good wobble. Likewise those who don’t think nursery deserve a living wage and should be doing it out of love.