To not let my kids appear on school social media?

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Since DC started school, I've never consented to their pictures appearing on social media.

I thought a lot of parents would do the same, but the majority of parents do seem to have consented as the social feeds are full of lovely pictures of everyone else's kids.

Last week for example, there were lots of great pictures of sports day, and the week before, pictures of a school trip.

I'm now beginning to think I'm just making myself miss out on nice pictures of DC at school events, and actually there's no a real downside to letting them be in the pictures.

What does everyone else think? AIBU to not consent, or is there a real risk to having pictures of children on open public social media?

It seems like there’s considerably more concern about “paedophiles” as this sinister outside force when the majority of risk comes from people known to the family. People are fucking horrendous at safeguarding their children - they give them smart phones at a young age. Over 60% don’t have any parental controls on them. Boyfriends and step dads and other male relatives are far more of a risk to the actual child than some unknown person taking an image from a school website.

Someone like op is putting her child above herself. She would like the pics and the boasting factor. Pics being posted is in her interest but not the child’s. So she is missing out for her child’s benefit. That’s what good parenting is.

It’s well known they take pictures from the internet to make CSAM. Why risk it?

Our school do not have social media but a parent app where they upload photos of the children.

The parent app has individual login details issued by school.

It's quite well run, you can still opt out of your child being uploaded to the app and you have to sign to say you won't share these photos on any social media platform. It doesn't allow screenshots but obviously you could take a photo from another phone, hence the required signature.

Well that is crazy! Juat close the group to parents only and problem is gone.

It still doesn’t give any guarantees.

Do you no see that there is a world of difference between a paper newsletter and a digital one? I don't think it's hysteria to think children deserve to make their own choices about what information is online about them
There was social media too when they were older but it made no difference.

The risk factor of a paedophile doing something with a picture on line and targeting my children specifically was far far too low to take away the joy of looking back at these many years later.

I think it depends on why you opt out.
If there is someone that you don't want to have access to any pictures of your child at all (for whatever reason) then opting out is definitely the right thing to do.
When my children were at school the pupils who were not allowed to be shown in photos were often taken to play/work at the side when photos were taken (at least when I was there) because the objections were taken very seriously. If I had been in that position I would have been really reassured but I did feel a bit sorry for the children. This was a small school with only a few children who were not allowed to appear in photos so quite noticeable.
I never had a problem with my children's photos being on the school Facebook page etc as the photos published were always really good (they never published the awful ones obviously) and I enjoyed seeing snapshots of their days. I also used to pass the link to my mum so that she could see it too. I also felt that these would always be "safe" photos.
I also found that, once our children went to school or became involved in group hobbies, it was impossible to stop pictures appearing here and there because other parents would inevitably take photos of their children either alongside my child or with my children in the background and post them. The school/ groups would always ask parents not to take photos or film but that was largely ignored. That is where my concerns would lie.
Even now I still get photos popping up on my social media from 15 or 20 years ago of the children at some event or other. To be honest I love it.

In a world of deep fakes and AI, I’m mystified why anyone WOULD allow their kids to be used for publicity in this way. I probably sound over the top but if something happens it would be “who’d have thought it?”.

Well yes both are a risk. One is easier to avoid so why not avoid it? The only loser is mum who doesn’t get to look at nice pics.

Exactly.

The way younger people are now making drastic choices based on the smallest of probabilities is really scary.
They won't allow their children being on a picture where there 1 in a million chances that these could be used in an unflavoured way, let alone harm their child, but don't think twice of driving their kids to activities over the weekend when the risk of harm is significantly higher...

Pre Covid I agree the main risk was abduction which seems remote and as long as surnames not used I agree risk seemed minimal. Not now sadly. I would think it would be the norm to say no now so saying no would not mark your kid out as an outlier.

I mean who even wants the risk their child would be used in creating child abuse images?!

Do you stop your child doing sports day, or school plays or music concerts or going on school trips or going out and about in public on their own? There is just as much chance as parents/members of the public taking photos of them there too snd using them for awful reasons

It seems like there’s considerably more concern about “paedophiles” as this sinister outside force when the majority of risk comes from people known to the family
All this fueled by the media that makes money out of hysteria and drama that sucks people in!

YANBU OP. My children’s school don’t post any photos of the children online and I think that is the policy all schools should have. I have friends with children at schools that do posts photos, but all of my friends have opted to not have their children put online.

There is just as much chance as parents/members of the public taking photos of them there too snd using them for awful reasons
I would think the risk was much higher!

Well nothing is guaranteed in life is it?

life is all about weighing up risks. As someone else said children are more at risk in the car on the way to school for instance, or from male relatives. Yet people carry on using the road and the pavement.

we need to weigh up things. It’s lovely seeing the pictures and my kids like looking at them too. The risk from a closed group is tiny .

Same and just as we are starting to see social media being banned for children, I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point in the future there was a ban on people posting pictures of children online full-stop.

So you’re putting yourself above the safety of your children. Above the risk of their images being turned into CSAM. I’ve seen it all now

Children will grow up never seeing any pictures of life at school, differences between generations, historic events...

Whilst the rare paedophiles will have found other ways to satisfy their nasty sickness...

The risk from a closed group is tiny

But the OP isn't talking about a closed group. They've said the School's social media page is open.

So you’re putting yourself above the safety of your children
So when you take your kids on a shopping trip for yourself, aren't you doing the same, with a significant higher risk of harm.

Common people, stop repeating like sheep what you've read on social media and start using common sense!

Nobody’s said you can’t take pictures. Just stop posting your kids on social media

Well yes of course there is the risk, but seeing as these people take images from social media all the time…