To want to breastfeed past 1 yr without her saying it's 'a bit psychologically dodgy'?

[sushistar]

Saw a friend who I havn't seen since before our babies were born. She's trying to switch her dd, who's 6 months, to formula. I'm still breastfeeding ds, who's 7 months. Her dd has allergies, has to be weaned onto soy formula.

She asked if I was intending to stop bfeeding anytime soon. No, I say, there's no need - I'm working from home so can continue to bfeed. Why is she switching to formula, I ask - is she planning to go back to work? No, she says, she just thinks it's a bit wierd to breastfeed too long, and she's tired of avoiding dairy in her own diet. Fair enough, her choice. But she continues to explain she thinks it's a bit wierd, especially for boys () to breast feed past one year, that it will give them 'mixed messages', that it's 'psychologically a bit dodgy'.

WTF? AIBU to think she's implying that my desire to bfeed past 1 year has some sort of sexual connotation?!?!?!? And AIBU to think she's completly out of order?

She is implying that, she is completely out of order she does need a punch on the lips and be told to grow tf up.

IMHO

yanbu - she's the dodgy one to give up for that reason. The avoiding milk is one thing (compeletly underdstand that would be a total pain) but to stop feeding due to mixed message - what carp

I was fuming!! (but I smiled sweetly, like the wuss I am, and changed the subject. Coward)

she should keep her sordid thoughts to herself. YANBU.

YANBU - I am still bf my DS2 - he is 13 months and I will probably do so for another few months. Having said that I don't do it when out and about any more because people can be odd about it.(not that it is much of an issue because he tends to just want morning and evening)

I don't wear anything in bed and my children sometimes climb into my bed - that is not sexual either and I don't think it will harm them and the time will come when they feel that they do not want to any more.
People are really odd about sexualising things - it is in their minds not the minds of the children

YANBU

It was the 'especially for boys' bit that got me. I mean, he's a BABY for goodness sake!

i think yanbu too, i fed dc3 til 17 months. do it as long as you and your lo want to.

YANBU to be offended by that. But unfortunately she has just swallowed something whole that our culture feeds us i.e. breast is for sex, breastfeeding for any longer than deemed necessary has to be 'unhealthy'.
So ignorant, it's sad really.

The opposite argument can equally be made that breastfeeding might be the optimum for psychological health particularly in boys!

lol at HedgeWitch.

YANBU. She's a weirdo. "Especially for boys", my arse.

DS frequently has to be in a little safe walker thingy in the bathroom while I am showering ... suppose your friend would consider that "psychologically dogdy" too. I should really just leave him in the living room to crawl in amongst the television wires.

Hedgewitch, be careful... same friend came out with the old chestnut 'When they're old enough to ask for it...'

YANBU. Totally out of order of your friend. You accepted her decision to switch to ff; she should accept your decision to continue to bf your DS.

I am still breast feeding my DD who is nearly 10 mo. I intend to for the foreseeable future. A very good friend, who has a 4 mo and is switching to ff, keeps on at me to get DD used to a bottle. Why??? She tells me it will give me my freedom (wft? I have a baby -- I lost any 'freedom' I had when DD was born!). She doesn't get the fact that there is little point in me trying to get DD onto a bottle now (even if I wanted to) as I would only have to start weaning her off it in a couple of months' time. Neither does she get the fact that actually the decisions I make in feeding my child are my decisions and she should actually just butt out. Your friend sounds much the same! Happy feeding!

I had a few friends say that they think bfeeding after your baby can walk is a 'bit weird' but when questioned they couldn't elaborate- or wouldn't. When I was still bfeeding DD once she was mobile, they didn't actually say anything- apart from a daughter of a friend of my mum- and she is a midwife

Unfortunately I think your friend has voiced a belief silently held by many people in this country- I just think it's a bit of a shame...for them.. and their children.

I just politely disagree with these people and shrug it off (and try not to laugh at them).

I had people who actually used the bitty comment with me when they heard I was still breastfeeding and this was when DD1 was around the age of your DC. You would have thought she was about to start reception or something. Loads of non parents weighing in too - "Some mothers just don't know when to let go."

YANBU. Maybe your friend isn't as comfortable with her decision as she makes out.

Its just so odd and sad and un-natural. To think this entirly natural biological function practiced by mothers for millenia all over the world untill their children were well into toddlerhood is... 'psychologically a bit dodgy'. Goodness, that would mean most of humanity was messed up!

Shes's a nobboid.

Harriet, I think you might be right. Especially as her dc has allergies, really she should carry on bfeeding as long as possible!

That's an interesting point-is she the kind of person that may have been influenced by some comments from others, d'you think? Some people take this kind of social pressure very seriously.

No! I don't know her that well, but she's well informed, calm, confident...
She's a lot more organised than me, I go with the flow a bit more. If anything, she's a very confident mum - quite happy to dispense advice!

Hi Sushistar,

My little girl was one and a half when breastfeeding became uncomfortable for me and distressing for her. So we slowly stopped.

and...p.s she sleeps in our bed!!!!

Read "Three in a bed" by Deborah Jackson loads of stuff about family sleeping, slings and especially interesting for you - breastfeeding and our sensual (not sexual!!!) relationships with babies and young children!

BFN - hope this was of help?

YANBU. She is psychologically dodgy.

Will look into 'three in a bed', teafortwo - have just finished 'politics of breastfeeding' and want more in the same vein!

Well, everyone is happy to dispense advice once you've had a baby, I find.

What is important is that you do what is best for you and for your baby.

Your friend is the type to feel the need to comment on your parenting choices. There are lots of those about. Either you say to her that you find her comments offensive or you just smile sweetly and carry on as you were. If you do smile sweetly, then you must let these kind of daft comments just go over your head because otherwise you'll get riled a lot and it's not worth it.

And you're not a weirdo for bfing your boy. It's a lucky lucky child who gets breastmilk up to 2 and beyond IMO. And in many specialists opinions.

Do you think she might be getting pressure from other people about breastfeeding for 'so long'?