To think DS swim lesson was unsafe?

[Swimdilemma]

DS is physically disabled and has been on the waiting list for over a year for our local inclusive swimming lessons. I was told to come today for an assessment and then from there they would decide if the disability lessons were the right fit or if mainstream is best for him. Turned up today, got him changed into his swimming things and took to pool side, right away an instructor started getting him in while I was told to give him "a quick run down" of DS. I quickly got the main points across but DS was already in. No longer than 5 minutes had passed and he was struggling to hold onto the pool noodle - I had already explained he has poor grip strength. His face started going under and I could see him struggling and trying to pull himself up. He started choking- DS can't manage with his face in the water as he easily aspirates. The whole time the instructor was looking elsewhere until I jumped up from the bench and got his attention. DS looked really frightened and trying not to cry, but he kept going and did seem to enjoy the lesson. Not long after that happened another girl took over and I was told the first boy was a new member of the team.

Water went into his mouth a good few times more with the same result. At the end I asked how they think DS got on and is disability lessons a good fit - I was told yeah I think so. I mentioned again that he is physically disabled (I mention this as most other kids seemed to have autism and were very physically able in the water) and has problems with mouth closure and breathing, I was told oh good to know for next time. They just seemed so disinterested in his safety or that they didn't really understand how to safely teach a disabled child to swim.

AIBU to think the whole thing was really unsafe? There seemed to be no attempt to find out his abilities in the water, what his diagnosis is, or anything they need to be aware of. No paper work filled in or anything.The instructors were all around 18/19 so possibly not very experienced. I'm aware that children of course need to be pushed when learning to swim, and there will be times when it's hard or something happens that they don't like. But it's entirely different with disabled children.

I just have no experience of this,I never went to lessons as a child although can swim confidently. So please tell me if IBU. I feel sad for DS as he was really scared to go and I told him he would be fine.

How old is he? If you know he has a a high risk of aspiration is a pool a safe place in general for him? Have you spoken to his consultants regarding this? It sounds like they were a bit unsure how to manage his specific needs but also like you maybe misunderstood the remit of the swimming lessons? I'd speak to someone in charge and your sons medical team to d code

I would email this to the company. It does sound really unsafe. If they can assure you what they'll do to improve you could consider going ahead if they go the things they say. But it sounds as though this isn't the right option for him especially with the sense of inexperience that you got from the instructors.

I have a child with a diagnosis of dysphagia, amongst others, and my heart was in my mouth reading this. There’s nothing about this which sounds acceptable to me.

We’ve recently started private 1:1 swimming lessons and quite frankly our experience was the opposite. Loads of questions when we signed up, conversation directly with the instructor who was young but absolutely switched on. Accommodations made, even suggested. It’s been as safe as it can be (it’s clearly not 100% safe to learn to swim if you are at high risk of aspiration - but the risks can be minimised).

I want you to know that you aren’t unreasonable. Not even a little bit. If you can possibly find another option, do so, if not, ask to see the risk assessment and discuss in person with the person in charge of the service.

Courage and solidarity to you. I’m raging for you and your son. How dare they put him at risk and take something good and make it so bad?

Not a chance would I take my son back there. The fact that the instructor didn't have his eyes on him the whole time is disgusting. If you've got a physically disabled child in a pool, your eyes would never leave them. And saying he's new is no fucking excuse. I'd have been complaining to the manager because they basically put your son's life at risk. So sorry you experienced that

It doesn't sound great to be honest. It sounds like 1:1 lessons might be more suitable where the instructor can give him their full attention.

They are more expensive but as the lessons are tailored completely to them, they progress a lot quicker.

With his risk of aspiration I think he needs an adult with him 1:1 in the water whilst he is in these early stages of learning- maybe you could get in with him at the pool you went to if you didnt want to do the 1:1 lessons- although I know this may make your DS feel like he stands out so I can understand why this may not be a favourable option.

Ultimately though safety is key and it doesn't sound like they are able to keep him safe in the water.

Also - inclusive lessons should be just that. If they are ASD-friendly but not for physically disabled kids, they need to say that. For goodness sake.

And as pp said, maybe 1-1 lessons would be better for him. At least then the instructor has no reason to not have eyes on him

Swimmer with Cerebral Palsy here. That sounds wholly unsafe and the instructor sounds like he was clueless. I would look for something else to be honest. This organisation is good https://disability-swimming.org.uk/

I would be looking at one-to-one lessons for him. I would also say that I am very much a back stroke swimmer as that cuts out the whole having to time breathing thing, because frankly 2 arms and 2 legs is ENOUGH to coordinate at once! Have you taken you son swimming before now? I guess my other thing would be make sure he is happy and confident in the water before trying to teach him to swim.

I would also be looking at an appropriate buoyancy aid - my severely physically disabled friend used a ring with a fin on top to stop her flipping over. There's also the neck rings for chin support.

He's only 4. He's absolutely fine to be in the pool with the correct support.

My DS has cerebral palsy. I should have said in my first post, these were 1:1 lessons! Which is even more baffling that he had his eyes off him. I just don't understand why they didn't ask anything about him before starting. Not one bit of paperwork filled in. I feel really angry too, but more so at myself for not saying something at the time. It all felt so fast paced and I was a bit bewildered tbh. It's only now I'm sitting at home and reflecting on it that it all just feels really wrong.

Would you take him to the pool on your own with several.other pre school aged children? At 4 my ASD child really needed 1:1 in the pool, I wouldn't have sent him to lessons and didn't until he was 6 when he managed well in a group setting. 4 is young for a group lesson regardless I'd say. I'd be inclined to look into 1:1 lessons.i think. I would probably have intervened and removed my child in your position, for some reason I was picturing a much older child.

Thank you for this - DS has cerebral palsy too. Yes overall I get the feeling they were completely inexperienced in teaching someone with CP to swim. As someone else posted above, ASN includes physical disabilities and I did not get that sense at all from these lessons. I agree I'm going to look into something else. There's a school for children with motor disorders around 30 minutes from us that offer blocks of lessons that we finally have a space on, I think we might have more success there.

DS goes to the pool a lot with me and loves the water, he's really confident when he can stand and knows he won't get his head under and I'm holding on to him, but I've been struggling to get him to use his arms and legs effectively so thought lessons might help him.

Sorry I completely missed from my original post it was a 1:1 lessons! Crazy I know. No way would I put him in a group setting. I was on the edge of my seat debating whether to just stop the lesson but I was worried I would put him off going back. He goes regularly with me to the pool but I thought lessons might be more effective and get him used to lessons/clubs without mum, he doesn't go to anything independently yet.

My dd had disability swimming lessons and they were really attentive, questionnaire beforehand , briefing before getting in the water etc. my dd has asd and seizures hence needing 1:1 and instructor in the water within reach. The issue may be that in the intervening 20 years since my experience the number of “disabled” children has skyrocketed, but most of these will be neurodivergent, I suspect some instructors have never taught a child with physical disability, even 20 years ago only 2 of the 6 children had physical disabilities, another child had seizures like my dd and 2 I presumed nd needed constant attention in a different way

I think definitely look for another pool, this doesn’t sound right! My 4 year old is NT but we do 1:1 lessons at a small pool (max of two 1:1 sessions are ever happening in it at one time), you can choose your teacher and they really work with you to ensure the teacher you have is the best fit. They’re mainly older and parents themselves.

There’s a child who swims after mine who has cerebral palsy and apparently she struggled at first but she’s doing amazingly now!

In a 1:1 lesson the instructor has zero excuse for their behaviours! I would be inclined to ask for a meeting to discuss because that's shocking.

I had assumed a 1:1 lesson, I cannot believe how poor this was @Swimdilemma. You are right to be concerned and I personally would be making a serious complaint. I would consider where to direct the complaint (given the waiting list, is this local authority funded?). This is a safeguarding issue, and the instructor was at fault but so was the overall system that put your son at risk.

Yes it's council run. You're right I really do need to make a complaint - I won't be back with DS, but at least to make them aware for other children. The more I think about it I just keep remembering things that put me off overall. I need to stop thinking about it as it's getting me really upset! DS just kept looking at me and I told him he was fine not to worry. He was so trusting of them. I really hope it's not put him off.

Christ. As an adult who is physically able and fairly fit at 55 I learned to swim. I had one to one and being tall was never out of my depth...yet the instructor never took his eyes off me plus there was a life guard present.

Don't take your son back. Complain,you might save a life.

Ps we couldn't afford to get lessons when I was a kid or actually go swimming that often

The right instructor will help you get him confident again. My son was nervous and he was like a little fish by about 5 minutes in with the right instructor.

Don’t give yourself a hard time. It’s a hard path you walk and hindsight isn’t a reasonable way to measure yourself.

Thank you for your kind words ❤️

I have CP and wondered if you had explored hydrotherapy for your son? Some special needs schools have hydro pools and hire them out or do inclusive swim sessions and you may find their teachers would offer swim lessons and have more experience of his condition.

Can he float on his back? Get him to lie back in a star shape and just float without moving. He might not be able to, especially if he's skinny (fat is less dense than bone so it floats better). It really helped me though because I knew that I could always flip over and float for a bit if I got into difficulty.

Thanks for your reply - yes that's next on our list, we've recently got a place at the hydro pool at a school for motor impairments, feeling much more positive about that one. Wish I hadn't bothered with the one today!

No he can't float, he will go on his back and kick his legs if I'm holding his upper body, but he struggles to use his arms very much at all. That is a good idea though and definitely something for us to build on.