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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DS swim lesson was unsafe?

28 replies

Swimdilemma · 28/06/2026 20:49

DS is physically disabled and has been on the waiting list for over a year for our local inclusive swimming lessons. I was told to come today for an assessment and then from there they would decide if the disability lessons were the right fit or if mainstream is best for him. Turned up today, got him changed into his swimming things and took to pool side, right away an instructor started getting him in while I was told to give him "a quick run down" of DS. I quickly got the main points across but DS was already in. No longer than 5 minutes had passed and he was struggling to hold onto the pool noodle - I had already explained he has poor grip strength. His face started going under and I could see him struggling and trying to pull himself up. He started choking- DS can't manage with his face in the water as he easily aspirates. The whole time the instructor was looking elsewhere until I jumped up from the bench and got his attention. DS looked really frightened and trying not to cry, but he kept going and did seem to enjoy the lesson. Not long after that happened another girl took over and I was told the first boy was a new member of the team.

Water went into his mouth a good few times more with the same result. At the end I asked how they think DS got on and is disability lessons a good fit - I was told yeah I think so. I mentioned again that he is physically disabled (I mention this as most other kids seemed to have autism and were very physically able in the water) and has problems with mouth closure and breathing, I was told oh good to know for next time. They just seemed so disinterested in his safety or that they didn't really understand how to safely teach a disabled child to swim.

AIBU to think the whole thing was really unsafe? There seemed to be no attempt to find out his abilities in the water, what his diagnosis is, or anything they need to be aware of. No paper work filled in or anything.The instructors were all around 18/19 so possibly not very experienced. I'm aware that children of course need to be pushed when learning to swim, and there will be times when it's hard or something happens that they don't like. But it's entirely different with disabled children.

I just have no experience of this,I never went to lessons as a child although can swim confidently. So please tell me if IBU. I feel sad for DS as he was really scared to go and I told him he would be fine.

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 28/06/2026 22:52

Your DS sounds a very sweet little boy but he deserves better. A huge YANBU from me, and very best wishes to him.

Teenytinydot · 28/06/2026 22:57

I was going to mention 1-1 private so glad a PP has.

I have a non disabled NT child and even I am terrified by swim lessons. They do seem incredibly unsafe! And I went to group swim lessons myself and survived so I hadn’t even thought about it until I had my child. But he’s incredibly quiet. He would literally drown in silence and would not make a fuss. So we are going private.

Wonkywalker · 28/06/2026 23:19

Swimdilemma · 28/06/2026 22:48

Thanks for your reply - yes that's next on our list, we've recently got a place at the hydro pool at a school for motor impairments, feeling much more positive about that one. Wish I hadn't bothered with the one today!

That's great - hopefully they will show you exercises to do with him in the pool and bath. The warm water makes the exercises so much easier . Sounds as if you are really on top of it all

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