AIBU to keep raising safety concerns when my partner dismisses them?

[MindDuck]

My partner gets annoyed and has a go at me for worrying too much all the time about things to do with the kids (2+4). But AIBU to tell him/warn him things for what I consider is their safety? For example this morning he made smoothies with them and I looked in the cup on the table and there was a whole handful of whole grapes on the top. I asked what’s that, thinking maybe the kids had thrown them in at the table being silly and he said ‘4 wanted to add a bunch at the end’. Meaning he was happily letting them sip from the cup with whole grapes and considering that fine. I said ‘ok but they’re whole’ to which he rolled his eyes and moved the cup out of their reach. As I walked away he mutters ‘f**king hell’ under his breath. I’m so tired of being considered a nag and not being taken serious when I think that is a pretty dangerous thing!!

His reactions are childish and self centred. You, on the other hand, despite worrying about his reaction and trying to be tactful, rightly prioritise your children’s welfare.

I do also agree with this and I do try to hide my anxiety from my kids (easier said then done) because it is worry that they will grow up anxious and scared of the world because of me and I really don't want that as mental illness just ruins your life.

There’s a big difference between common sense safeguarding and undue anxiety.

It is absolutely possible to be too anxious, and it doesn’t do children or relationships any good.

Cutting up grapes is sensible, if it’s been forgotten then they can easily be hooked out, cut and out back.

You probably spend a lot of time on parenyong info and parenting social media stuff. He probably spends none. That means you’ll be in an echo chamber or hype and he’ll be getting none.

Why not spend some time together on Parent Club (Scottish gov parenting info) on home safety food safety etc and after some general approaches together. Eg. Grapes cut, lollies sitting down and supervised only, pan handles always turned sideways, phones in glovebox when driving, window locks on upstairs windows and anytime They’re overidden children constantly supervised, chemical and medicines lock d away.

You’re not strong enough to turn a 3 year old upside down?

What I find terrifying is that there are parents who don’t know what to do in the event of common emergencies.

Wow! How amazing!

To me this sounds really patronising. He is an adult, and whole grapes not being recommended for small children is a fact. I don't think you should need to pussyfoot around something this obvious.

Honestly my children are way older and I still don’t allow them whole grapes. I even cut up my own!!

No I didn’t respond to thank you because your post didn’t deserve a thank you!

you’ve not taught me something or how to be a better parent. I project my anxious concerns on the kids thank you.

as I mentioned this was a conversation with my partner not my children!

You’re biting, you’re responding defensively, even though you know the points are valid.

which is what your partner is doing.