To move north and become a childminder?

[itsme189]

Right now we live down south in a very expensive area to buy. We rent a tiny 2 bed house and with the cost of houses round here could never afford to buy even something the size of our house.

my DH works fully remotely and had been at the same company 10+ years. I work part time 3 days a week in an office. We have a 1 year old so I can’t work more due to childcare. We get by ok but can’t really afford luxuries or more than one haven holiday a year.

I have always wanted to move away for where we live and so had DH. Our parents are not in the best health (but they never are tbh) but they are fine and we have siblings who would like within 30 mins of them.

if we move to the location we are interested in we could afford (comfortably) a 3 bed house with much more space. The only issue is we use family for childcare one day a week so instead we could send her to nursery 3 days a week but I really don’t want to.

She likes nursery but is a bit of a victim if someone is getting pushed over, bitten or hit it’s her. I’ve been told it’s because once they do it she doesn’t move just freezes so she’s a bit of an easy target. It’s making me want to pull her from nursery because I scrolled through the app and she hasn’t had an incident free day in the last 9 sessions. I asked is there anything we can do to help like is she being a space invader, snatching etc. and they said no it’s just the age of the children and she’s the easiest to target as she doesn’t retaliate.

So seeing as we could afford the house up north with left over money. Would it be crazy to consider childminding? There would be space, the house is near a primary school. I have a childcare level 3 qualification. I loved childcare but nursery work etc doesn’t pay enough to live in my area so I had to change careers and become an analyst.

it would be a 5-6 hour drive away and my family and DHs would be gutted that we and their grandchild are that far away. Would it be selfish to just do it?

It sounds like a much better life for you and your family. Do it!

For some reason my phone has auto corrected has to had to clarify my husband still works at the same company remotely and has no plans to leave!

If you’re able to I would go for it, funnily enough around an hour ago I was looking on right move at homes up north wishing I could move (I’m down south but used to live in the north as a child) but I couldn’t leave my parents. Childminding is a great idea providing you have the space, my DM was a childminder and loved it, although I wouldn’t completely give up on nursery all together, of course she’s still very young maybe once she’s 2 or 3 and can stand up for herself more it may be worth another try.

In this day and age I think you need to factor in what would happen if he ever was forced to change job. He could secure alternative employment up there.

I also think you need to work on DD’s resilience a bit at nursery though, as she’ll need to be able to cope at school

I'm a CM & it's honestly great to be able to be flexible around your own families needs. My 3 are older now but worked really well. I've worked different days & hours to fit around my own.
You need to accept that your home remains full of toys for longer than it would with just your own.
Not sure whereabouts you're moving to but consider the area - I'm in Scotland & our ratios are much stricter than in England & you cannot just decide to vary them yourself. Here you could have 2 extra pre schoolers as your own is just 1. So less attractive financially than in England.
You also need to look at the funded hours, ours are only from 3yrs old currently but from 9 months & if you're going to offer that it's a huge amount of extra paperwork in England from all I've seen posted by English CMs for very little financial recompense.

Sorry just re-read that DD is only one.

I do think it’s an extreme reaction if the main driver was because of that, but if it’s for better quality of life all round then it makes sense

I think for you as a family - this sounds great and sometimes you have to be selfish, the only issue I can foresee is that If you are renting you’d have to check the tenancy agreement as to whether it would allow you to run a business from the address, a lot of tenancy agreements say no to this.

My friend is a dog groomer and had issues finding something suitable.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

whats strange for me is she’s not like that with any of my friends kids or at toddler groups we go to so maybe because I’m not there to run to she doesn’t know what to do. I think it would help if she had a consistent key worker who she had a relationship with. I think she would run to them if the staff didn’t keep changing all the time.

No this is not the main factor at all and if we choose to stay and it continues I may move her to a childminder anyway.

I really want to own a home and have stability for my daughter and I want to make sure we do it and are settled before she starts school!

I know this isn't the point of the thread, but that is seriously poor from the nursery. Regardless of whether you move, I would pull her from that nursery and find one that will properly support your daughter.

In regards to DHs jobs his skills are very transferable and sort after in his industry. He’s actually been contacted several times about opportunities at similar companies but he loves the company he works for!

I think the biggest thing to factor in is how much work in your Dh's field is there in the new location? He might want to work for someone else or he may lose his job after restructure sort of thing. So consider commuting distance to potential new job when you move.

The other thing to consider is local knowledge if you are not from that area, so post on here for local information, you can always name change just for that post. Ask MNetters and look at the local Facebook group too so you can see what the locals complain about. As a trailing spouse we have been stung by this, moved for Dh's job only to discover several things that would have made us live half a mile away from where we ended up. This was however over 20 years ago but it did mean our next move was very informed, we moved a couple of miles away.

I also agree moving way before school deadlines rather than having the pressure of that as well as the move.

I think it's a very valid reason but you need to be careful. Would your OP job agree to it? If working from home is not official, they could ask him to come back to the office. It takes only a change in management and suddenly there is working from home far away any longer.

You have one child currently. Do you plan on having another one soon? How would that affect the number of children you can look after?

What happens if your parents do become poorly and really heed help. Are there siblings close by?

I agree but they tried to make out I was being dramatic asking them to come up with a plan to protect her. They just keep saying it’s normal to bite and hit at this age because they get frustrated. They also can’t tell me if it’s multiple kids or the same one. Because if it is the same one imo they should be separated! Last week in one day she was punched in the eye and then later that day scratched all down her neck and cheek. I collected her early cause she was so upset! She hasn’t been this week due to heat. Thing is she’s tough if she falls over 9 times out of ten she just gets back up. So it must have really scared her and now I’m worried to send her.

Just checking - would you be buying a house up north or just renting a larger place? A lot of landlords won’t allow childminding from rental properties.

Are you hoping to buy a property or continue to rent? As a pp as stated, you may be restricted wrt becoming a childminder if you rent.
Good luck anyway, it seems like a no-brainer to move north for a better quality of life.

Good tips thank you! Didn’t think of local fb groups that would be very helpful. His contract is fully remote with no office expectations he has worked from home since before Covid and he did run it past them and they said outside of updating his personal details in the HR system it would have not impact on his role. They basically said they wouldn’t consider us moving 6 hours away any different to moving 10 minutes away.

We would be buying that’s a huge driving factor for me I really want the stability for our little family!

As someone who is also from the south East I'd go for it. I constantly daydream about being from somewhere less expensive. DH is Scottish and I often think about moving there, but his mum has passed and other family aren't interested. I know I'd get homesick but if his family were closer like mine I'd probably have gone because I think our quality of life would be completely different.

I'm sorry your little girl is having such a hard time at nursery. 💐 Your plan sounds like a good idea to me. 🙂 Before you decide where to move it could be a good idea to check what the demand for childminders is likely to be. Best to avoid areas that might be mostly retirees or mostly holiday cottages etc, as well as anywhere that seems oversaturated with childcare options already. Good luck! 😊

We only have one child and won’t be having anymore. She was a miracle in the first place and took 6 years to come along. We are very content being one and done!

Posted above about remote contract.

As for our parents it would be so hard if they became very unwell but we both have multiple siblings and they are within 30 mins of our parents houses. They are in their 60s but they all smoked like chimneys and can get quite unwell with their breathing difficulties. It’s currently under control but is a real possibility it won’t be in the next few years.

I’d be careful. We moved after redundancy back to my home town in the north west. I really didn’t want to. I found it VERY difficult to find a decent job that was OK pay, good conditions etc. Every job I’ve had here, I’ve had to commute to. I’m also really bored. There’s nothing to do. You have to drive to do anything.

We moved as it was somewhere we could buy outright, DH wanted me to have the security of not having to worry about paying a mortgage (he’s older and has had cancer twice).

I really wish we’d taken time to look at other areas that were a bit more upmarket and had better employment opportunities. I know you have a plan to be a CM but people up here don’t tend to have as much money. Many, many people I know use their parents for childcare. There are areas of high unemployment too so I’d research carefully.

They basically said they wouldn’t consider us moving 6 hours away any different to moving 10 minutes away
As long as it's officially written in his contract. It was the same with my team, all working from home since COVID with no issue whatsoever. We were efficient, work was being delivered, we were regularly praised. We went through three new managers, no issues. Then a new one came. A micro manager who decided there and then that everyone had to come back to the office at least 3 times a week. No excuses, no consideration. If you were not prepared to do that, you would be dismissed. Some people had moved. It was a nightmare but she got her way because the contracts had never been amended.

Seems like a good idea, but you need to check if it would be possible to get a mortgage when moving so far and giving up your job or whether you would need to rent and find a job initially.

Yes his contract is a remote contract and it is specifically written in there that there is no in person /office requirements! They have people working all over the country! But yeah if it wasn’t I would want him to make sure they updated his contract cause companies can be sneaky

Our MIP was based solely on my husbands wage because I would be leaving my job until I set up!