AIBU to stop visiting as often now Mum has died?

[Gcn]

I moved from Ireland to Scotland 35 years ago. Until last year we would travel "home" 2 or 3 times a year. When there I'd catch up with family, but latterly was to see mum. Mum died last year. My brother has visited me a few times. My mum hadn't been across in about 10 years. My aunt visited a couple of times with her. My cousins have never been here.

I got a message from cousin today asking when we'd be across in the summer. I told him that we probably won't be - other holiday arranged. They replied with a crying emoji.

At mums funeral all my cousins were saying how they'd love to visit - they are v welcome to, but no one has.

Am I being unreasonable?? It's expensive for us to visit - we being the dog so need to bring car on Ferry, now that mums not there we need to pay to stay.

I have absolutely nothing to do with my Irish cousins now all the parents are dead. I think it’s fine to let it slide into nothing.

I don't want it to slide into nothing. I'm close to a few of my cousins and would hate to think that I'd lose touch with them. Think we'll aim for October hols.

It’s a standard thing, rightly or wrongly, that the person who moves away is the one who travels back for the visit. You k ow how much of a pain it is for you having to bear the expense and time of travelling but at least you know the area when you arrive and everyone is there. Someone having to do all that and then be in a strange (to them) place, with only you (no offence, I just meant it’s intense to go and know only one person and have to spend 100% or at least the majority of the time with them, whereas you may split your visit over 4 or 5 people) who they know is a far bigger ask. They probably haven’t realised that you no longer have a place to stay. I am the person who moved away and my parents have visited a handful of times in 21 years and only one friend has once.