Advice gratefully sought.
I’ve been single for years. OLD is so hard at this age that I get worn out and give up then a few months later think I should try again but I rarely ever get passed the first date so I have little frame of reference so I need the mums hive mind here please.. long one for detail and context.
Last week chatting online and seemed pleasant and not stupid. Suggested a coffee date that afternoon, arranged time and place. It’s a chain opposite a local supermarket and on my way home so thought I’d have a coffee, grab some shopping sorted. Coffee was ok. He asked a lot of fairly personal questions but could put down as genuine interest. Wore his sunglasses indoors (🤦🏻♀️) but again, may have had glare I was unaware of. So as we’re leaving we agree to meet again and I give a peck on the cheek, he says no, I want a proper kiss. I say maybe when we have a proper date. Laughs it off and he says he’ll follow me to the main road “to make sure I’m safe”. I said I’m getting some shopping sorted no need, he can head home.
He then says he was also getting some shopping sorted we can go together and can park together over there. We’re leaving the car park together so little chance of avoiding and agree. When he pulls up next to me, he winds the window down and says he’s only got 5% battery so just needs a few minutes to charge, come and sit in the car for a second. Honestly I’d rather have just got the shopping but don’t want to be rude so I join him. Conversation picks up where we left off and he’s being pleasant. He keeps trying to put his hand at the very very top of my leg as if he is just resting it and then he starts again with requesting a kiss. I say I don’t do that with strangers, keeping it light etc but he becomes quite pushy and tbh I thought it would get him off my leg so I say he can have a peck. Sure enough as soon as I get close he pulls me in for what I can only describe as a wet dog, slobbery, dribbly, broken washing machine suction on my face. He was going for tongue before our lips met! I half expected to pull away and find he’d turned into a stranger things style alien. It was not pleasant! I pull away and hop out of the car. He joins me and apologises so I let him walk near me while I grab a couple of bits but I avoid further contact like when he tried to hold my hand, I pretended not to notice then moved my phone to that hand so it wasn’t empty. Get back to the cars, no repeat request and we leave.
Later he’s all apologetic by text, this is his first date since divorce, he was too keen, he overstepped, he doesn’t know etiquette, so sorry etc….
Heres the thing. He’s intelligent, good job, and obviously interested in me. If I set my boundaries and he respects them enough that I’d trust a second date could anybody get passed how awful he is at kissing??? If I met him again I’d want to do almost anything but that! Can guys be re-trained?? Is it even worth trying?