AIBU to downsize for lower mortgage despite loving our current home?

[Violetandpurple]

Hi all
we currently own a beautiful home, it’s a 4 bed detached that we have converted the loft so we have 6 bedrooms and 4 toilets. (Edit- we have only lived here for almost 3 years, loft done early this year)
we have 4 biological children and we foster.
our mortgage is 206k total.
there is a house for sale down the road, similar area although where we are now is considered ‘nicer’. it has 5 bedrooms and 3 toilets but is a townhouse. 3 bedrooms are 17ft long so we could easily split one to create an extra room.
our mortgage would go down to 60k meaning much more spendable income each month.
current house value 435k approx other house 275k approx.
I would rather live in a less desirable house and not have financial stress. Partner says it’s silly to leave our dream home.

wwyd?

How much is the current mortgage per month? It costs money to move as well, and it costs money to renovate. You could always look at options of extending the length of your current mortgage. You could save the downsizing for later when children are grown up.

How bad is the financial stress? Can you envisage it easing, for instance, are any children likely to leave home in the next few years etc? Or getting worse, are any heading for uni?
Have you factored in moving costs?
There's so much that needs drilling down into with this. On the face of it I agree with your partner it's very sad to move after getting it to how you want it. But sometimes needs must.
Just to add I really admire you for fostering, this is truly a service to society and I hope you're adequately financially recompensed.

How affordable is the current house? The cost stress and hassle of moving would mean I’d only do it if I really wanted to.

Unless you really have to, I would stay in the home you love.

I would stay - the costs of conversion/alterations just grow and grow.

£964 per month currently
would be approx £300 if we move
the house is a blank canvas, cream walls throughout a typical new build look. We can’t extend mortgage it’s already 35 years but in terms of renovating we would be much more comfortable and have money to do things required.

Things are tight but ‘ok’ unless I work a full
time job which means we can no longer foster then we would be comfortable.

Of the £140k reduction in your mortgage, how much would to expect to spend on moving costs, solicitors fees, redecorating new place, renovating, possibly new furniture etc. if yours doesn’t fit. Is the saving still substantial.

We have toyed with the idea of downsizing to reduce our mortgage, we won’t really need a 4-bed house soon, but I’d like to relocate when I retire and worry about reducing my capital. I’d rather spend the money on the house than waste it on moving costs, stamp duty etc.

I can only see it getting worse to be honest. Life isn’t getting any cheaper.
& thank you, we don’t get much for fostering to be honest and only paid when a child is in our care but it’s very fulfilling and enjoyable.

I'm the odd one out who thinks I'd move, if I were you. Yes there are costs to move, and some hassle, but thats a lot of money you'll save, every month, for many years, once its done.

That could be used to build a buffer, exciting activities for the kids, great holidays, and more boringly, pension provision (unless you have that sewn up). And if anything should ever go wrong with your jobs, it wouldn't be so much of a crisis.

Around 15k on fees etc.
it doesn’t need new carpets in a hurry, we wouldn’t require new furniture, perhaps just some work done on the garden but all of this is stuff we could afford having £650 extra spendable income a month.

but we would lose the more desirable location, being detached and a home that we have worked hard to make beautiful.
however none of these are major, we can make a new home beautiful, it’s the end of the townhouses and set back so whilst it’s attached it’s minimal.

I personally wouldn’t move. Costs associated with moving, the stress and losing being detached!

This is my point to dh.
No worry about financial stress in future. No requirement for me to work full time. I can stay home with our children, be around for our daughter with additional needs who hates when I am not home and still foster children.
More money for fun days out, holidays, luxury’s etc.

Thank you
I have factored around 15k into this for costs of moving etc.
Losing detached is my biggest concern but the other house is end of terrace and set back so only half attached on one side if that makes sense.
The rooms are actually substantially bigger our biggest bedroom is 10ftx11ft here, at the other house there are 3 that are 17ft x 11ft.

With 4 + children I wouldn’t move from a detached house. Do not underestimate the value of this.

I can see both sides on this. Normally I would say go for the smaller home that has the lower mortgage for all the reasons you suggest.

The only reason I would be hesitant in your situation is the fact you have a large family and foster children as well so a detached property is likely to suit your needs better (I don't know how old your children are but if you move to a semi detached will there be concerns regarding neighbours and noise). You can hear more than you think (I dread what my neighbours must have thought when mine were little). They have an adult son and in the evenings we can often hear him watching TV or playing music (not overly loud btw, normal levels).

maybe I would move then, for paying £600 less per month...

I would consider moving - having lower payments is mentally freeing, life is short and it's how that improved cash flow would improve your lives immediately, but I would be careful about how nice the area is as you wouldn't want antisocial behavior ruining your lives.It sounds like you've considered the costs of moving,.I would seriously consider it.

Not unless I had zero choice would I move. It took 2 years to sell our last house and move because of 3 chains falling apart and the costs involved. The amount of stress nearly broke me. Also if the other house needs renovations to make more rooms that will also cost and quite frankly you don't know what other hidden surprises there are. Plus you could get awful neighbours.

You have a detatched house in a nice area and your kids can make loads of noise, it's a dream house, I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Thank you
yes we actually offered on a home in that area before purchasing our current home.
our children all have lots of school friends that live there too. It is out the way enough that it avoids the anti social behaviour side but having a large family noises such as children playing out etc really don’t bother us as our children would likely be with them.

Thank you it’s nice seeing opinions that are opposite of mine.
we would only be going on the market for this one home, if it sold before us we would stay put and I would get a full time job but moving means that isn’t required.

Wow, I thought when I started reading this thread it was about me. I also have a 4 bedroom house with loft conversion into 6 bedrooms and top floor shower room. Also have 4 bathrooms and I also foster. I've only got 3 biological DC though and all have now bought their own homes. I have 3 foster teens Insitu. We've paid off our mortgage now when rates were lower. I'd love to downsize slightly but DH disagrees because he likes the bigger garden and double garage we have. In your shoes I'd downsize and in a few years you'll be mortgage free.

No worries, also I would worry if my DH wasn't on the same page. I do think it's one of the most stressful things in the world and if he doesn't actually want to move I think it could cause some damage to your relationship. I 100% think its something you have to both be in agreement with, otherwise if it goes wrong and the new house or neighbours isn't all it's cracked up to be it might build resentment. Xx

Why don't you remortgage on interest only - what would that take it down to? Your daughter will grow and need you less (send mum here so I know it's always going to be an issue). 5 year stops and start paying it off again.
I did downsize drastically after my divorce and there are more funds now for hols but 5 years down the road and the kids still pine for the old house.
The economic certainty you crave won't mean a fig to them. And right now they're not missing what they're not getting.
Have a serious consideration of interest only

Agree with your husband