Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

Sigh....why are so many people determined to find fault in what OP did.

OP says

• loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.
• crying stayed at the same level for ther period time.
• raised voices and car doors slamming
• it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.
• for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right.
• had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time
• police treating it as a priority case and checking things out.

If its loud enough to cause concern to multiple adults.... baby crying (for over 1.5hrs actually per the OPs updates), adults shouting and slamming doors. It peaked concern, it wasn't just a baby crying for 30 minutes. Then yes, I would at least contact authorities. If nothing is the matter then great but at least it's been flagged if it was an issue.

A child taking food from bins would always raise alarm bells. Absolutely every baby cries though. Stealing food from bins is unusual behaviour from a child. A baby crying isn't unusual

I think I'd let the police make that decision rather than not call if I was worried.

Or the mother could feel further isolated and judged knowing that her neighbours will call the police if she cant stop her baby crying. That could make her more depressed and less willing to reach out for support.

What the OP overheard was in no way comparable to the Maria Colwell case.

No one is saying that the police should never be called. But wrongful accusations do harm and waste police time - time that might be better spent protecting someone else. So most people dont ring them just on the off-chance.

We have a large box of laundry powder now, but it always catches us out before we get something in front of it.

My parents had police phoned by neighbours multiple times in my first 2 years of life due to my crying.
Apparently multiple neighbours commented on it being a very loud, abnormal cry.

I became a semi-professional opera singer, and I sometimes wonder if that's related.

Where’s their father? Agree - people are quick to report others but quick to make excuses/slow to help. If it was so far away, how could you tell that they weren’t trying to comfort the baby? If you weee close enough to make that determination you could have popped out of your house to look. I agree - babies’ welfare is paramount but try and work out what’s going out first. What a sad society we live in now. People aren’t helpful.

I think this is the way society has gone in many places. I grew up in London and if there was a disturbance of any kind, neighbours would go and check/offer help/see off burglars/administer first aid etc. Now people tend to immediately take to Facebook or phone the police because they don't want to get 'involved'.

I don’t have anything to apologise for.

If it were roles reversed I’d rather someone came to check if they were concerned for my children than do nothing.

You didn't check on them though. You reported them to the police

This is a tricky one. Some babies cry for a long time even when being held, especially newborns. I live in a block of flats and if neighbours had called the police out for my crying baby I would have been mortified and upset. This can be damaging to perfectly present and lovely parents, on the other hand maybe you did a good deed. I wouldn’t get involved unless I saw or heard something (not just a baby crying) that alarmed me. If I heard a person screaming, terrified for a prolonged period or if I saw abuse I would report it but otherwise I could be wrong and interfering. This won’t be a popular opinion but I, personally, wouldn’t call authorities over a baby crying once, even if they cried for a while every day, I would assume it is a baby who is unsettled, I’ve been there. Also, midwives advise leaving the baby in a safe space to cry it out if things get too much. Maybe the parent is desperately tired. There’s too many maybes. If you’re right then you did the right thing, if you’re wrong well you’ve mortified a harmless stranger. As I said, it’s a difficult one.

So report everyone with a baby to the police so they can assess them.

Again, I don’t think it would’ve helped for me ( a stranger) to turn up at their door at midnight to check on them.
That could either escalate things further or I’d confirm that yes there was a baby screaming and an argument going on.

Its all well and good saying that but actually the think I totally made the right call. If the police didn’t think it was concerning then it would’ve been dismissed. Perhaps it was a parent having a one off difficult night or perhaps part of a bigger picture and appropriate support can be put in place.

For context these are brand new homes on our estate and I know my immediate neighbours well and would have gone round to them but I’m a stranger to these people. I also wouldn’t have wanted to put myself at risk. Yes my husband was home too and could’ve stayed with my kids but why would I put myself in potential danger by going over there alone late at night. That doesn’t make sense to me.

Well clearly that’s ridiculous. Read my post properly and take in the context.

That being said not all cries are the same. I’m well acquainted with crying babies but this cry was very distressed and remained at that level.

I did listen out as I thought they’re probably trying everything to settle them and nothings working. Again have been there but it sounded as though the parents were down the road having an argument and this baby was absolutely inconsolable.

Id really rather have slightly upset two parents than done nothing to help a baby who isn’t in the best situation.

Again it was the context around it of raised voices, doors slamming and engines revving angrily driving off then back again that painted a bit of a picture.

Hopefully it was just that and nothing more but still not pleasant.

"loud distressed crying" for half an hour is nothing for a baby. Car doors slamming - they've put the baby in the car and they are going to drive around the streets to see if it sends them to sleep. Perfectly normal for many babies and stressed parents. If it had been several days then you can call the police, OP just didnt like having her sleep disturbed and has forgotten what a baby crying sounds like.

What was the outcome OP? It does seem a bit hasty to be calling the police. Our eldest used to cry A LOT, didn't matter if we were trying to comfort her or not. I think I would have gone and had a look myself before calling the police, seems extreme.

No. Report a person with a distressed baby accompanied by shouting, doors slamming etc to the police.

Honestly the amount of people ignoring the shouting abd slamming is insane 😳

Yes for the police to check on them … OP has no idea what she could be walking into, she doesn’t know them.

The amount of “do nothings” on here is actually very worrying!!

Agree … it’s astonishing

I haven’t! I don’t get much sleep and have a baby and two toddlers. I spent months having to drive one of my sons to sleep each night and I do know that sleep deprivation is very tough on parents however this just didn’t seem like what was happening. Again I hope I’m wrong/it was a one off.

You’re assuming they were driving the baby around but the crying wasn’t intermittent it was just so loud for so long and so it didn’t seem like the baby had been in and out of a car. Just like they were absolutely screaming from within the house. Initially I wondered if they were sleep training or something. I know everyone’s saying 30 mins isn’t that long but actually to me that is a long time for a child to be full blown almost at a scream.

Anyway I hope they were just trying to calm their baby down but it certainly didn’t seem like it hence why I wanted to pass the info on.

Isn’t it! I’m actually glad I shared this now (after considering deleting the whole thing earlier) because at the very least it’s opened up a bit of discussion on safeguarding responsibilities.