AIBU to skip an evening reception for a small wedding?

[Wnahsi]

AIBU not to have an evening reception wedding is summer next year ), here is what the day will look like without one, it's a smaller wedding around 45 people including children (we have two ourselves):

2:30 Arrival drinks in the bar
3pm Ceremony
3:30 - 430/530 Canapes and live music , in a rooftop room with a terrace and views overlooking the city
530 -730 Wedding breakfast (no speeches etc)
730 - 9 drinks on the terrace with live music , thinking of getting a magician either here or at the canapes ?
930pm move down to the hotel bar , people can go , stay etc. we will probably head up to our room at 10 as we have an amazing room with a hot tub with amazing views 😂.

The second option would be after the wedding breakfast we move down to a basement room (which is lovely), have a band or DJ that will finish around midnight .

Sounds perfect! Evening receptions weren't really A Thing back when we got married- thank goodness. But the few I've been to were very underwhelming and definitely the least interesting/enjoyable part of the day.
Go ahead as planned, and if your guests want to party then I'm sure they'll be perfectly capable of finding a pub or somewhere.

PS In fact, also skip the magician, as it sounds a bit naff and guests will just want to chat and relax.

I would love this as either a guest or one of the people getting married! All day and night weddings can start feeling like an endurance test and make it really expensive to get childcare. This would make the actual wedding ceremony more the focal point of the day, rather than something that happens first before the endurance test begins!

Hmm I was a bit in two minds about this seems to get mixed reviews. I might look into the drawing as someone else suggested .

We did something very similar for our tiny wedding (7 in total, including us!) - ceremony at 1, canapés and champagne at 1.30, long lunch at 3ish which ended at about 8(!). Then drinks in the bar. DH and I had the most wonderful hour just the two of us at the end of the evening. It was utterly perfect, so relaxed and intimate - I wouldn’t have changed a thing!

Is there shade, I went to a beautiful wedding a couple of years ago and the 90 minute but had no shade so it was hard going?
Its nice you’re doing a free bar as often it’s one drink each during the interval bit which isn’t enough.

Yes , id say about half of it has cover over it , and it's attached the room we are having the wedding breakfast in which has air con if it gets to much 🤣.

I agree one is not enough , and as it's a small group that we know well I don't think anyone will start going wild just because it's a free bar .

All sounds good to me, although I agree the pre ceremony drinks doesn't allow enough seating time.

Also give your guests a schedule before the day. It's good that their expectations are what is actually happening, not what they think should happen. Also lets them plan babysitters and when is a suitable point to leave.

Sounds perfect to me!

Yes I was thinking of mocking something up to send beforehand , to give guests an idea of them day. Although most will know.

Sorry what do you mean about the pre ceremony and seating time ? Thank you !

We are paying for family rooms for the night for anyone coming with children (if they wish to stay ), as we want all of the children attending there and the parents to enjoy themselves. I remember going to a wedding when my son was two and wow 🤣.And it makes it easier for guests to have somewhere on site . Even if the kids need 20 mins downtime or whatever .

We had a magician as there were kids and it was great. He did a little bit of mingling and then all the kids watched a little show - loads of adults came and watched too. It was just another option.
I find small talk really tough so conversation topics like decor and things to do are nice ice breakers
we also went to one with a Photo Booth which was brilliant. One copy for a book for the bride and groom and one copy for the guests. People stuck them in and wrote messages .

Yes a good idea - easier with children and old people.

Anyone could give a speech, don’t limit it to the men. But you don’t have to have them and they are usually the worst bit, especially if waiting for food.

If you do that you’ll need to provide two meals. I’d stick with your current afternoon plan - live music, canapés and drinks, and then early dinner in the nice rooftop room sound lovely to me. Then I’d go downstairs after the dinner for dancing in the basement rather than going back to the live music thing again.

I don't think they have to be speeches, but toasts would be suitable/nice to hear. Anyone could do them. Thanking people for coming is usually part of that! We had a quiz for entertainment, but then we were into that and so were many of our friends

I hate evening dos so it’s a big yes from me! We’re marrying in June next year and we’re doing 2pm church ceremony, 2.45-6 garden party up the road.

Seems fine to me, do include a running order so people can know what to expect food wise and make a decision on transportation/hotels, I’d skip the magician too, very marmite! Live music is plenty

I think it sounds perfect.

We had a magician and without question he was the absolute highlight of the day, he was amazing and all our guests loved it!!

We also didn't force anyone to do speeches, my husband gave a lovely one, best man did a toast only as very shy, and it would have ruined the day for my dad with nerves.

Your plans sound relaxed and lovely.

That is similar to how we did ours. We just don’t enjoy the dancing portion of most weddings. So instead it was an extended dinner party with really good food and drink. We too set it up so it moved a bit from space to space and people had options to linger or move on at the end of the night.

we were really happy with the way it went.

For me, that's how a wedding should be. B&G leave, everyone waves them off and guests can either leave or stay.

Either as the bride or a guest, that sounds like a perfect wedding to me, although I do agree the photo section should be shorter.

Definitely the band or DJ until midnight. Weddings are very boring, that is the best bit.

It sounds perfect to me!

Sounds lovely but personally I’d want some chips or something later especially if the meal is before 7.
Pizza truck/delivery or a load of snacks.

If people have eaten early and then started drinking they’ll be hungry. Ignore the competitive under-eaters who’d be happy with a lettuce leaf at 5.

The evening reception with dancing and a noisy band/ dj is the part of a wedding I hate!