AIBU to skip an evening reception for a small wedding?

[Wnahsi]

AIBU not to have an evening reception wedding is summer next year ), here is what the day will look like without one, it's a smaller wedding around 45 people including children (we have two ourselves):

2:30 Arrival drinks in the bar
3pm Ceremony
3:30 - 430/530 Canapes and live music , in a rooftop room with a terrace and views overlooking the city
530 -730 Wedding breakfast (no speeches etc)
730 - 9 drinks on the terrace with live music , thinking of getting a magician either here or at the canapes ?
930pm move down to the hotel bar , people can go , stay etc. we will probably head up to our room at 10 as we have an amazing room with a hot tub with amazing views 😂.

The second option would be after the wedding breakfast we move down to a basement room (which is lovely), have a band or DJ that will finish around midnight .

To be honest that sounds like my dream wedding as a guest! And if it's what you want for go for it.

Especially with the option available for people that want to stay up longer to socialise but without feeling obliged to. Have a lovely day!

I have never got this multi layered event for a wedding, I get why royalty do it but as for normal people who have this weird hierachy of who makes the grade or not is plain weird to me

I like your idea it seems normal to me

I think that sounds great, that's a late enough finish to feel like you've had a good.might but not so late you'd be knackered the next day

I’d really miss the dancing. But after dinner I’ve had enough of making polite conversation and absolutely love a wedding disco!

Sounds perfect. I had a lot of things at my wedding because it’s what you did, rather than what I wanted.

As someone who loves to be in bed by 10pm, this sounds like a dream event to me.
I think just let guests know the plan, so no one is expecting an all night bender.
As your food is late, I’d also let guests know to have a big/late breakfast.
We had a magician, he was amazing and everyone spoke about it afterwards. We had him from after the wedding breakfast and just into the evening entertainment. It filled that lull. I’d have him whilst you have your canapés, personally.

Thank you everyone! I'm wondering if when writing this out I bring the ceremony forward to 1pm , as we can only have live music in the room until 830, and also brings food forward?

Stretches the day a bit ?

I’d prefer the option to dance but if you wanted to cut it short at 9.30 that’s fine, it’s your wedding. I think it’d be a shame not to have any speeches. As long as you have the right people doing them, they can be really lovely. But I’d hate a wandering magician. I’ve been to a few events with them and I find it really odd and creepy!

I think the 3.30 to 5.30 bit could be tweaked as that’s the boring part of the day for guests.

I think 2 hours for canapés is already a really long time to just mill about chatting so moving it forward to 1pm would add another 90 minutes?

The day would just move forward more so it wouldn't be any longer, maybe it would only be 90 mins then ? It could be an hour , the only weddings I've ever been to have had empty hours to fill with absolutely nothing going on. But given this will have live music , free bar and a terrace on a summer day I was hoping 90 mins would just feel more like a nice bar in summer.

We have to stop live music in the room at 830, which is why I was thinking of the moving the day forward so people have more time to enjoy slightly lively music as the day goes on. Everything would move forward food etc , it would just give more time at the end.

I'm not sure my Dad or partner would want to give a speech , I have been to weddings where they have been lovely. Maybe I should add them...

I would possibly skip the arrival drinks as if the ceremony is at 3 people will want to be getting in and seated from 2.30, or else have them at 2. But yeah by all means release everyone early in the evening, those of us with babysitters will thank you!

This is all very useful thank you 🤣. I haven't been to lots of weddings , and most I've been to have been quite traditional invite loads of people , DJ in the night.

I'm trying to make a really lovely day for guests so any add ons you have seen that have worked please let me know !

Yes I think I'll just move this to the canapes either way , it just came with what we had booked ! Thank you.

Might be worth adding my family is a bit disjointed, so I'm not sure this whatever we done would be loads of family up dancing . Which is why it would be a more chilled feel either way.

A lot of people coming have kids but they are bringing them with them, which is what I want. I have hired my sons childminders for the day to come and help with the children 🤣.

A 1 pm ceremony would look like this :

1pm ceremony
1:30 -245 drinks / canapes
3 - 530 wedding breakfast and speeches (?)
530 - 8 live music / magican
830 /9 move down to the hotel bar / or people can head home

Your plan is perfect. I would really enjoy the pace of your wedding day.
Go back and enjoy your lovely room at 10 pm. Other guests can stay in the bar longer if it suits them.

Sounds very much like my wedding last year. We had a magician and he was ace. It was so much fun. We had a violinist for the ceremony and part of the meal then the venue provided a speaker so we could just play a bit of music in the background while people chatted after the magician did his bit.

we cocked up with the food times though. We thought we’d need lunch so we grabbed something light to eat at 12 but by late afternoon we weren’t hungry enough to eat the enormous meals the venue provided so the cost felt like a waste. Plus the kids didn’t eat a single thing as was not at their usual meal time so they didn’t want anything 😕

Sounds great. Both options sound lovely as a guest, so it would come down to what you personally want.

I do enjoy a dance but I would be very happy with a 12-9 ish wedding.

I went to a wedding that had a guy doing caricatures instead of a magician and that went down really well.

I went to a wedding that had a guy doing caricatures instead of a magician and that went down really well.

Yes, this is the part of weddings I loathe. Do many people actually enjoy this? Two hours of hanging around having to have to make polite conversation. It's boring as hell. One thing when there is some sort of entertainment or it's the wedding of a close family member, but when you just have to mill around while the bride and groom take photos it's awful.

Thank you. I like this idea !! I was actually thinking of those drawers you have at the wedding.

I'm going to look into this. Thank you !

It would only be 90 mins max , and it's a small wedding so everyone knows people in the room. And there will also be entertainment? On a summers hopefully nice day , with a free bar on a terrace with amazing views. So I don't think it sounds that bad ?

Every other I've been to has been no drinks , no food , nothing to do . Just in a room. We are also only taking 20 mins for our pictures .