What's your work/life balance like and what do you prioritise? Please come and tell me about it!

[LeavingTeachingForGood]

Just that really.

For context, I've made the decision to leave teaching for good this year. Handed my notice in and with no intention of going back.

I realised, in my 50s, that my work/life balance has actually just been a bit shit on the whole over the years and it's definitely become worse.

For various reasons, our workload has ramped up significantly over the past few years. Many friends have fallen by the wayside because I don't have time, am too exhausted or just don't have the social energy to see people during term time and, by the time school holidays roll around, other people have plans or have moved on with their lives and with each other and other friends, which I completely get! But it does mean my only friends are now other teachers!

Five years ago (well, pre and post lockdown anyway) I did yoga, had friends, had a hobby, went out and socialised at the weekend and slowly those things have drifted - each one dropped in the hope I'd get more sleep, get on top of things, catch up with myself, find myself again... each one dropped with the intention of picking it up again when things improved.

Except they didn't improve and more things were dropped along the way. Including my health, which I've been forced to prioritise over the last 6 months. I'm in a much better place now but work was a big contributing factor to my ill health and it's definitely a major factor in my decision to leave.

I'm winding down now in my last few weeks. None of the stuff for next year is an issue for me. Nothing to prepare etc so I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and, honestly, I feel like I'm waking up and beginning to see how much I've sacrificed over the years.

I just wondered what other people's postition on this is? Whatever field you work in and whatever your role, how well have you managed to maintain a work life balance and what does that look like for you (guess I'm looking for shared experiences and inspiration really!)

Especially if you've changed your lifestyle/job drastically to achieve a better work/life balance!

It doesn't matter how big or how small. One thing I've started doing and really appreciate is starting and ending the day with a cup of coffee in the garden. Just being immersed in nature - the birdsong, the colours and scents of the flowers has done wonders for my internal peace.

That and going away straight after work over the BH weekend and camping in a forest!

I know going forwards that I want to create a far better work /lfe balance!

I'm freelance in construction, white collar. I have a horse so will only contemplate 7 - 3pm hours (or thereabouts) as I don't want to be hitting the rush hour traffic and I certainly don't want to be coming home from riding and looking after the horse at 9pm at night like so many of my friends do after seeing their horse when I'm up at 5am in the morning. This way I'm home for 6.30pm/7pm job done.

I've been in this working pattern for the past 15 yrs because my job is fairly niche and i have a lot of experience and some decent references to prove my worth. I'm looking to hopefully cut down my hours or go part time in the next 6 months.

Well done to you for realising that things needed to change and actually making the first step in changing things. I think it is so easy to stay stuck with familiarity and routine even when it is not the best thing for you.

I have worked part-time since my children were born and they are now willing to their teenage years, and perimenopause hit me like a bus about four years ago. This corresponded with my husband taking on far responsibility at work, which was amazing for our bank balance but not so much for work-life balance. Slowly, over that time I have gone from working pretty much full-time and down to 2 to 3 days a week term time only- working freelance.

I can’t tell you the difference it is made to family life (for all of us), my relationship with DH, relationships with our kids, my health and general well-being. I don’t have to put off doctors appointments, either routine or preventative and feel I have much more oversight of what needs doing rather than just being reactive all the time.

In terms of what I prioritise, sometimes it’s just getting the boring things done in my time off so that we can all enjoy our time together. Today is a vet visit, a haircut, attending my son’s SEN review meeting, a trip to the supermarket to stock up on fresh stuff. But I also make sure I have time for my Padel tennis club morning, a bit of strength training at the gym, a couple of yoga sessions each week. DD anjd I do Zumba together. I see friends when I can too. And it is really lovely to be able to be around when DC get home from school to help with homework, offer lifts and listen to their joys and woes.

I have also taken on a trustee role in a local charity which keeps me busy, but not too busy (boundaries.) and go to choir rehearsal one evening a week and book club one evening a month.

Professionally, working halftime has given me time to devote to extra CPD and doing stuff for a profession as well, such as conference presentations, which I enjoy much more than my previous management role. I actually feel more engaged in my profession than I ever have done before, because because I have mental space to contribute to things in different ways.

School holidays are brilliant. DC are still young enough to want to travel with me. DD and I are off to Wales along a pilgrimage route for a few days and DS and I are heading to Sarajevo. And planning family holiday adventures is one of my hobbies I also put time aside for that.

All in all, life’s good and I’m so pleased I made the changes. Very best of luck to you.!

I’ve moved from a hospital job to a community job. At times it’s very demanding and the team works 6 days a week but there are more manageable patches and we can take days in the week (like today!) It is also less physically exhausting and I start the day from home. It was a tricky transition but a few years into it I am doing ok.

Ive also made the decision not to try for the next level of promotion and just do my job at my level. Whether I’ll be ok with that for the last ten years of my career I don’t know, but I hope so. My plan is to drop to 4 days at 60 too.

Teacher. HoD at a private school. I have no work life balance. I worked 8 saturdays in a row in April/May, and finished between 7 and 8 pm most weeknights with things I needed to be physically present for, and then at home the planning starts. Thank fuck we’re on holidays now. I love my job but zero time for anything during term time.

I have virtually no work life balance. I work in a very high pressure role. The job itself is interesting just far far too full on but I can’t leave.

TBH I find it a bit triggering when people start talking about work life balance. Work life balance is a luxury not everyone can afford.

I do think its a good goal but I hate it when people bang on about how “you have to prioritise your health”. It isn’t that simple for some of us.

I was sacked from a chief finance job (in a school as it happens). Now manage zero staff. No responsibility for anything. (Although I do take care with my work) 20k pay cut but blood pressure in the green every day. Leave at 430.

I do miss the money, and the people, but there is another way etc

Work life balance for some is a luxury but for others they sacrifice it to achieve a lifestyle they aspire too

my friend choose a large detached home and me a two bed semi which gave me way more work life balance choices

I’m a civil servant. 10 years ago I had DS and realised something had to give. I was working at management level in a stressful area. I managed to get a promotion which moved me into an area of work that I really enjoyed and also allowed me to wfh 3 days a week. Made a huge difference to my work/life balance, being able to be at home for my ds coming in from school, cutting down massively on childcare costs and easier to attend school events. It’s also meant being able to clock off and meet friends for a walk rather than sitting in traffic, I joined a fitness class which I couldn’t have gone to before due to the commute. Honestly, that promotion made a world of difference, it’s even a far nicer team to be part of!

I really hope you find your life improving now @LeavingTeachingForGood🤞

I know its not easy. Thats why I said I was forced to prioritise it

I was sent to A&E with severe chest pains that turned out to be burn out and stress and not a heart attack after all but it was a wake up call.

Two of my friends in the same profession were forced to take early retirement due to chronic health conditions. One is medically managed. The other is now disabled as a result and very ill constantly.

It's not always a choice.

But I agree it isn't easy.

Would you ever re-evaluate and change your role? What is it that keeps you there? (Obviously, you don't need to answer!)

I think I'd like some kind of hybrid role eventually.

My son wfh fully. He goes to the office once a week but there is no expectation of him to do so. The change in him is clear and he's still only in his 20s.

Previously, he worked long hours and travelled a lot.

I'm 37. Run my own business working 30 hours a week (ish) and the rest of my time is my own.

II definitely agree. My BP is now (usually) in the green. Before it was 'off the scale' (to quote the doctor).

Hard work and a lot of responsibility but that sounds amazing!

It is - best thing I've ever done! Though I've had to cancel three days of work this week (dog walker) which is a bit of a bugger, lol.

Should have included that the medical professionals involved told both of them that their health conditions were triggered by work stress.

Can't have it all, I suppose! 😁

This is how I have felt.

It's relentless and largely thankless. The only thing anyone wants to know is why you haven't done more!

Enjoy your holiday - you definitely deserve it ❤️

I worked as a teacher full time for 30 years and I’m now 53 and part time (4 days). I want to last two more years and then go. Teaching is relentless and I have some major illness all forming nicely on the horizon eg heart disease. I nearly left this year but my husband left instead last year as we felt his need to get out was greater. For me I may tell them to jog on next year or something I will see.

Teaching and burnout is real. I had a friend that left at 52 and literally slept for a year and did nothing g extreme burn out and now back up to normally but it took 5 years.

I hope reducing your hours brought some respite!

I can well believe the sleeping for a year. I got to the point where I couldn't get out of bed, wasn't really eating (no appetite or energy to eat even if someone else cooked), my sleep patterns were shot and I couldn't sleep even though I was constantly exhausted.

Some weekends, my head was so jumbled, I could do nothing more than clean out the animals and it was an achievement if I showered.

I prioritise exercise and my health. I move my body in some way (strength or cardio) every day. Even if that means getting up earlier than I’d like, or working later.

That has made a massive difference to my mental health.

That's definitely something I need to prioritise when I can.

Do you go to a class or do it at home (any pointers would be much appreciated!!)

I work shifts in a factory and mine is great. When I finish at 2pm (11.30am on a Friday), I have the rest of the day to do want I want. When I'm on the late shift I have all morning to do as I please. I could never go back to a Mon-Fri 9-5 there'd be no time to anything.

I go to a gym. For the strength work, I have a PT and do another 2-3 sessions on my own. For cardio I sometimes do a spin class, sometimes I run. But I do something every day, even if it's "only" a brisk walk. I also do the occasional yoga class.

The trick, I find, is to put the exercise in the diary and build the rest around that, rather than trying to cram exercise in around other things. That was a big mindset change for me.

I'd also add that working for myself is the best thing I've ever done for my work/life balance. My boss is very understanding! 😉 Of course, it comes with its own stresses, but the flexibility is a lifesaver - especially when the kids were small. It means I probably work more hours than an employed 9-5er, but on my own terms. That makes everything different. I realise that teaching is extremely inflexible (half of my family and friends are teachers!) and that really does ramp up the stress.

I'm so glad that you are getting off the treadmill - enjoy it OP!

The trick, I find, is to put the exercise in the diary and build the rest around that, rather than trying to cram exercise in around other things. That was a big mindset change for me.

Ah, that's where I'm going wrong!

Thanks! It sounds like you have achieved an enviable balance ❤️

That sounds awful and I didn't mean to minimise the health risks of burnout. I realise chronic stress is a real risk. It's terrible that it can take acute emergencies to 'allow' people to confront it.

From my perspective I'm a single parent (I'm now in a relationship, but I'm wholly responsible for my daughter's upkeep) and have had to work to support her non-stop since she was born. I don't regret this because it means I'm financially independent but it's meant I am locked into corporate work which is well-paid but very demanding and there's no question of stepping away or taking my foot off the pedal, at least until she has left school and moved out.

I suppose it just gets my hackles up because very often the people posting on here about work life balance are people who have some financial support in the form of a husband who is earning well. Sometimes people can be very strident about it on here, with comments about 'you'll never wish you'd worked more on your deathbed' etc. But it's much more straightforward to 'prioritise your health' and 'prioritise your children' if you aren't the main breadwinner. Sorry for the rant.