What's your work/life balance like and what do you prioritise? Please come and tell me about it!

[LeavingTeachingForGood]

Just that really.

For context, I've made the decision to leave teaching for good this year. Handed my notice in and with no intention of going back.

I realised, in my 50s, that my work/life balance has actually just been a bit shit on the whole over the years and it's definitely become worse.

For various reasons, our workload has ramped up significantly over the past few years. Many friends have fallen by the wayside because I don't have time, am too exhausted or just don't have the social energy to see people during term time and, by the time school holidays roll around, other people have plans or have moved on with their lives and with each other and other friends, which I completely get! But it does mean my only friends are now other teachers!

Five years ago (well, pre and post lockdown anyway) I did yoga, had friends, had a hobby, went out and socialised at the weekend and slowly those things have drifted - each one dropped in the hope I'd get more sleep, get on top of things, catch up with myself, find myself again... each one dropped with the intention of picking it up again when things improved.

Except they didn't improve and more things were dropped along the way. Including my health, which I've been forced to prioritise over the last 6 months. I'm in a much better place now but work was a big contributing factor to my ill health and it's definitely a major factor in my decision to leave.

I'm winding down now in my last few weeks. None of the stuff for next year is an issue for me. Nothing to prepare etc so I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and, honestly, I feel like I'm waking up and beginning to see how much I've sacrificed over the years.

I just wondered what other people's postition on this is? Whatever field you work in and whatever your role, how well have you managed to maintain a work life balance and what does that look like for you (guess I'm looking for shared experiences and inspiration really!)

Especially if you've changed your lifestyle/job drastically to achieve a better work/life balance!

It doesn't matter how big or how small. One thing I've started doing and really appreciate is starting and ending the day with a cup of coffee in the garden. Just being immersed in nature - the birdsong, the colours and scents of the flowers has done wonders for my internal peace.

That and going away straight after work over the BH weekend and camping in a forest!

I know going forwards that I want to create a far better work /lfe balance!

I left teaching in my early fifties and haven’t looked back. I was working ridiculous hours and was very close to burnout. Loved the job but the hours were brutal.

It took weeks for my body and brain to realise they didn’t have to be on ‘alert’ any more and for me to learn new rhythms of being. I also slept loads in that first few weeks. I now work part time in a welfare role and was surprised at how many transferable skills I acquired in teaching. I would never go back to that level
of stress again. I have time to exercise properly and eat well and my body knows the difference. I feel better than I have for years.

Also a huge bonus is those term time holidays!!

Also a huge bonus is those term time holidays!!

So I hear! 😂

I'm also in that FB group (if you know it?) and there doesn't seem to be anyone who's left who misses the school holidays either.

I'm in my early 30s and have been driving trucks/heavy plant for almost a decade. Had a graduate job in bid management before that but quickly realised I didn't enjoy the corporate setting.

I work about ten hours most days but sometimes a bit more. However, it's so much less stressful than a corporate job once you know what you're doing and being eight mins drive from home is perfect. It goes really quiet before and after Xmas and when it's super hot and we're often paid the full day for going home at lunchtime. To me it's better to work ten hours doing something I enjoy than eight hours where I'm bored out my mind.

I listen to a lot of music and podcasts etc while I'm driving and waiting onsite. Really enjoy the feeling of mental freedom, probs because I have ADHD so writing documents all day and sitting in meetings trying not to yawn was torture. Right now, I'm waiting while my truck gets the aircon regassed. Been sat here for two hours on my phone just chilling.

GaIadriel

I wouldn't be cut out for a corporate setting either.

I just imagine I'd be looking round at people thinking but none of this is important or that it's only important because someone else says it is and the structure depends on it. I feel a lot like that about teaching at the moment, tbf! Part of my issue with teaching is how corporate it's become with the increasing academisation of schools.

Leadership tell us to keep the childen at the heart of everything we do and yet 'everything we do' seems to take us further away from the childen and what they actually need.

I think your post is really interesting because work/life balance isn't just about how many hours you work. It's about how the job makes you feel and how it aligns with you as a person.

Zero work life balance. Hate my job. Loathe the team. I’m an expat on a non-transferable visa so I can’t quit (I would have to leave the country and I love living here).

It’s miserable, but I’ve made my bed…

Well done on leaving Teaching and putting your health first.

God that sounds miserable!

If you love living here, I'm assuming that you've been able to find a balance elsewhere that makes it worth staying?

Very frustrating to not be able to change jobs though! I had no idea that was a thing.

I’m still struggle to fit everything in but I have stayed p/t since dc. I have flexi hours so I get in early and home early. We try to get away every school break even if just for a day or 2. I would like to see more of my friends and exercise more but there is only so much I can fit in.

I think I’ve got a good balance. I’ve never really been ambitious in my career, I just do enough to maintain my lifestyle.

Years ago (pre kids) my job involved lots of travel but a lot has changed in my industry - everything in now remote and I’m fully home based now. I also reduced my hours. At some points doing slightly shorter days but now I do 4 full days. This means I have plenty of free time in the evenings and on my day off to visit my elderly parents, or exercise, or whatever.

Luckily DH is also at home 2-3 days a week and very hands on with school pickups etc so we get lots of time together as a family (too much sometimes). We’ve both always had sport and exercise as a hobby and the kids do now as well so most of our friends we meet up with are through those hobbies

It’s a good lifestyle. I can barely remember the days of commuting and dashing to pick up from a childminder etc.

Also a teacher! I’ve got a decent work life balance now, but it’s because I work three days a week in a school with reasonably sane SLT and have no intention of going back to full time. I pick up exam marking in the summer to boost my income a little. I was so burnt out when I taught full time, and I really regret wasting my twenties doing that! I didn’t slow down until I had my kids and needed to make more time for them.

I used to teach. It nearly killed me. Now I’m in house legal in charity sector and my WL balance is bloody good.

I very rarely drink alcohol (was previously drinking at Professional Level) and have lost over five stone in weight. I’m so much healthier and happier.

I get up early and go to bed early, in tune with my circadian rhythm. If I have a busy week, for example I have to travel to London every day for a week to attend court, I treat myself like a recovering invalid and do very little else that week. Then I take back excess hours worked the following week as early as possible.

I don’t get involved in client drama, and enjoy the adversarial cut and thrust of my job. I don’t take any of it personally. I can tell sometimes my opposite number is getting really het up by me, and I feel sorry for them, but it’s just the job and you need to not take yourself seriously.

I think that’s my best advice. Don’t take yourself seriously. 💐

FluffyDiplodocus

Relatively sane SLT makes all the difference!

We had one of those... had...

Glad you've found some balance.

That does sound good!

Things I've done/tried over the years -

• prioritise nice colleagues over money/prestige
• no work email on my phone (easier to not open the laptop at weekends/evenings)
• WFH a fair amount
• getting a dog so I have to walk every day
• proper lunch break away from my desk
• schedule occasional coffee chats with work colleagues who are also friends - I see this as the fun part of work but it's also work as we share tips/information
• regular breaks away from screen - WFH means I can mosey round the garden for five minutes
• cutting out caffeine intake in the afternoon
• having work mantras eg 'its as good as it can be in the time I have available' to cure myself of wanting perfection

Am sure there are more. it's about experimenting and seeing what helps you and feels important tonyou

I was a headteacher and a teacher for 15 years before that. It was completely awful for my health and well-being. I loved the families, the staff and especially the students, but I just couldn't do it anymore. I would come home and just have nothing left over for anything else. I changed roles, and I am a completely new person. A small pay cut initially, but I have managed to close that gap, and slightly more, over the last 5 years. I don't miss the school holidays at all - I would rather have a balance. As a teacher, I think I spent the first week of every holiday recovering from the term before. I was also pretty much always ill - strangely healthy these days. I felt an enormous amount of guilt at leaving, but I really believed they needed/deserved someone who had something left in the tank.

Those are great ideas and I already do the ones that I can.

I refuse to look at work emails over the weekend.

I did once check parent messages on a Saturday morning and replied to a query. The mum was also a teacher and replied to tell me off for responding at the weekend! 😂🙈

And, yes, you're right about finding things that are important to me/the individual. That's one of the reasons I posted - I'm not really sure I know what is important to me right now!

But it's good reading other people's replies!

TBH I find it a bit triggering when people start talking about work life balance

Do why open a thread about it if you find it "triggering"?

I am a lawyer and own my own firm. I’m 66 and have been practicing for 33 years so now take a long lunch leave at 4 and leave at 11 on Fridays when I go meet my 86 yr old auntie for lunch. But it took several decades of 8-5 to get to this point!

In my 50s I realised I was getting paid for what I know not what I do if you see what I mean. I’m senior in a small organisation. I leave on time, I go to the gym, go out in the week. Spend time in my garden. I’m sometimes too tired to do stuff but try to keep a routine of being out.

I love this ❤️

Your health isn't a luxury though and it's a bit of a bugger trying to work if you don't have it.

In my experience no matter how engaged Ive been or how much a role has been a full on part of my life, I've walked out the door and moved on within 24 hours! Despite not expecting to. I try to remember this when I get stressed in my current role...that ultimately I can always leave and would never again give these things a second thought.

I've worked until 3pm all through the primary years and should really be thinking about upping my hours now thats finished. But over the last few weeks I've worked late for several meetings and it's really hit me how much happier I am with my current arrangement. I have time to do a bit of housework, oversee homework, get dinner cooked and cleared up...all before 6pm and then relax for the rest of the evening. I also really value the time to go for a walk to decompress a bit after dinner if needed and yet I still get a decent chunk of evening and can even still have an early night.

Biggest contributors to my work life balance (and yes, Id say that all of these come from a place of privilege, I realise not an option for many people)

• working from home since 2017
• only travelling for work when absolutely necessary (avoiding conferences in particular!)
• working 4 days a week when possible (ive flexed up and down over past 10 years but for most of the time have done 4 days a week)
• diarised regular exercise that is non negotiable (ie family work around it)
• day time naps when work commitments allow!

I'm soon moving to freelance work and it will be interesting to see whether this improves things further or feels more stressful. In theory I should be able to work less and still earn what I need to.

Left SLT not long ago to do consultancy work. I’m almost 50 and was working a 60 hour week and just came to the end of my tether with it.

Like you, OP, I just didn’t have the energy left after working all week to ‘fit in’ the important things or people. I barely exercised, my social life was crap, my hobbies had dwindled, I rarely read a book, I was grouchy with my kids, elderly parents, husband because I was constantly frazzled. I was also boring as hell, because I had to prioritise sleep and rest over everything else if I wanted to cope with the working week and couldn’t be bothered with anything else.

I think something just snapped inside of me coming up to 50…like, is this my life until I retire and am basically an old woman? Nah. No way!

Currently earning about two thirds of my old salary and am self employed, so no public sector benefits. BUT…I work on a average 3 days a week from home, only going out a couple of times a month for meetings or to deliver training in person. And I’ll never go back to full time work, let alone working in a school again. Whatever it takes, I’m protecting the balance I now have.

I get better quality sleep.
I exercise every day - yoga, weights, morning walks in the park.
Ive been away for impromptu midweek breaks with my DH during term time (the joy!).
I have been to more gigs, films, social events this year than in the last 3 years combined because I’m not the walking dead after a week at school.
I feel like my head is clear and I can think properly for the first time in years.

No way am I giving this up!

Have posted already but would add...I think for a working person, my opinion of the best balance is to have a hybrid role but with a very short commute when you do go in.

I think this is also really important.

There are particular staff, families and children I genuinely care about. Children I taught 2 years ago who still come to give me a hug when they see me - I'm good at my job and have built good relationships while I've been there.

Leaving the children is what has made it such a tough decision. They're mostly wonderful (and even the ones who aren't still are 😉). I can't imagine not having all those small people. But I also know I'll move on quickly. I've left schools before, I know how it works!

Never being able to switch off is a big part of my reason for needong to leave. At the worst, I was spending all weekend in bed because my mind was racing and I couldn't focus on any of the work I had to do but was also so overwhelmed by it that I couldn't focus on anything else either and felt so guilty for not working that I was just stuck not doing anything.

Even though I knew that doing something nice for myself would mean I felt well enough to get the work done, I wasn't well enough to do anything nice.

I was going back into work on a Monday morning with the work still to do and my head absolutely scrambled because I hadn't come down from the previous week or had any sort of actual rest.

Evidently, I still get chest pains even just remembering that 🙄

Your current arrangement sounds ideal!