AIBU to find it odd I’ve never met my friend’s partner?

[MintChocCat]

Do you think it’s strange that I haven’t met my friend’s partner?

Context - been friends with this person for 6 years, would consider them close, met through work, been away on holiday with them etc. They met their new partner a year and a half ago and moved in together after 6 months. About 4 months ago they moved again into a house and she told me she’s pregnant.

I’m obvs happy for her even though I think it’s a bit soon, but what I’m finding stranger is I have never even met her partner. We’ve never been introduced. Do you find that weird too, or am I overthinking? Thanks

If you really want to go, I'd ask if she's up for a visitor next weekend or whenever and see what she says. Inviting yourself would be saying, "I'm coming over next weekend." So I think it's fine to suggest it.

I've also got friends whose partners I've never met and those whose partners socialise with us regularly. And some of those people are in the same friendship group!

People are different.

I have a group of friends that I've been away with, do dinner regularly and then have never met my DH ( over over 20 years).
We all met at work about 15 years ago, I left and the friendships continued ( I have gone back now).
I've been to 3 of their weddings, know all of their partners and been away with them plus their partners BUT the partners work in the same massive company.
DH is shy, works out the country for long periods so was away for the weddings etc and wouldn't enjoy the trips.
Its a running joke that DH is imaginary!

It's for her to decline if she can't attend, not for you to presume her preference.
Preg is a new and cloying abbreviation.......

I don't think it's weird, it's just if people want to socialise or not. I've been with DP for two years, he's met my dad (over fixing a car) but not my mum and siblings, though he's talked to my mum on the phone a fair bit. But he's socially anxious and I don't want to force him into a social situation. I also dislike feeling like you're obliged to go to things with your partner, as it's the socially acceptable thing to do, I've always lived more independently.

well that’s your opinion. Sorry you feel that way about the term, I was simply shortening the word!

Opinions are what forums are for, generally.
I realise it was shortened, but where does that end? Pre?

Im with you Op i think it’s rude to ask her to travel to you when she’s pregnant other than that no I don’t think it’s weird you haven’t met him especially when they live 2 hours away

Thanks!

I feel you are being tedious

But if you haven't invited her round in 6 years or vice versa, then it seems normal that you haven't met her partner.

I think it's a bit odd. I'd have expected her to want you to meet her partner. It is probably more about him not wanting to than you/her. People don't seem to feel the need to show up for their partner so much any more. However I would certainly suggest you visiting her new house. I.e. hi friend would love to pop by one afternoon to see your new house and catch up. How about next weekend?? See what she says.

My apologies; I didn't realise I was so boring. Never again; I've learnt my lesson. Thank you.

Exactly! One of my closest friends is in the forces, and we've not lived in the same country for the majority of our friendship 😆

I don’t think it’s that weird I first met my friends husband on their wedding day. They’d been together 2 years by that point. Some people don’t socialise in couples regularly.

Is he made up?

I find it less weird than someone who never meets without a partner.
my friend of 25 years met someone 3 years ago and I haven’t seen her without him since, it’s one of the reasons Ive pulled away from the friendship.

I think it completely depends on how you socialize. I have longstanding friends whose husbands I have never met, and who have never met mine, because we get together in groups of women.