Husband and trips abroad

[Mmmama89]

How would you feel about your husband going away on two week long holidays with the “boys” to long hall placed once a year (such as Jamaica Thailand Brazil) I don’t want to be unreasonable but I don’t feel comfortable with it. I’ve lived long enough to know the chances are there is cheating and other things probably. How would you handle this.

It simply would not happen. And don't listen to the people who will say "It's fine if you go away for two weeks too".

Do you go to nice destinations together, or do the finances get used up on these holidays? Aside from if it interfered with joint holiday plans, I would have no problem with it as I trust my partner. Has he given you reason not to trust him?

Its shit but how old and how long married

DH and I both do our own thing for a week a year, plus odd weekends.

2 weeks wouldn't happen, let alone the type of holiday where there's a risk of cheating etc.

It wouldn’t happen. My DH wouldn’t want to spend two weeks away like that barring a special event like a Rugby World Cup tour or something.

Why would he cheat any more on a long haul holiday than a European city break?

Or you don’t agree with couples doing anything separately?

Every year? God no.

Do you get equal time away with your friends? I wouldn’t be happy about this if you don’t. although guess it depends if kids involved.

Would expect the big two week holiday to be a family affair.
Obvs good for you both to do your own thing with friends but I would have thought maybe doing a weekend or night away.

Just out of interest do you go on holidays like that as a couple/family? I wouldn’t put up with my husband buggering off for a fortnight at a time with his mates- or not now that we have children anyway.

A long weekend, a ski trip etc would be absolutely fine, but two-week long holidays every year? Nope, not okay. Do you have kids? If so, absolutely not. The potential for cheating adds another dimension, but this is presumably the tip of the iceberg of twatty behaviour?

If he wants to have bachelor trips he should’ve stayed a bachelor. You can’t have both

Together ten years married for half of that we have kids and generally have a good marriage family holidays etc never been given reason to believe he’s been unfaithful but generally think it’s likely given that I would very unlikely to find out . I just think that’s very much single man behaviour however I want to make sure I’m not being overly unreasonable and sensitive

That just isn’t compatible with the demands on our life as parents. We can’t both disappear for 2 weeks a year without an undue burden in the other person.

I know some families have easier children, but that just isn’t our reality.

If you don't trust your husband, OP, then the length of the holiday is irrelevant.
Personally, I think it's fine for couples to have separate holidays - you're not joined at the hip.

DH wouldn’t dream of suggesting this and nor would I.

We have both done long weekends away. I can imagine a week being mooted as a one off for a particular reason. 2 weeks? Not a chance.

If you think the only thing stopping your husband from cheating is the probability of you finding out you’ve got bigger problems than the holiday.

Are you very well off or would this affect family finances?

How does he have enough leave (and cover school holidays) and funds?

Maybe I'm jealous of the idea of 2 weeks away to do whatever I like!

My husband and I do different things but our holidays are family time, we go for weekends away, stag dos etc but not a whole 2 weeks, are the other men going on this annual excursion married with kids too?

were not joined at the hip and I’m absolutely on board with having time apart with friends and long weekends away now and then of course that’s complicated acceptable however 12 days away long hall with a group of boys (we’re taking men in their 40’s) I don’t feel comfortable with , last year was Thailand the year before Jamaica. And no we’re not well off , we’re ok but definitely not well off by any means.

If he has plenty of leave left over, I wouldn't be too bothered with him spending 2 weeks away, but the destinations are definitely suspect for a group of middle aged men. Drinking and whoring I think they call those trips.

I voted YANBU because I think you should listen to your gut. However, I wouldn't mind if my DH did this as I know and trust his friends, and he has a lot more holiday than I do.

Don't let him go to work either. He might cheat

Our DC are quite young so I wouldn't be that pleased as DP doesn't have much leave so it would interfere with family holiday plans but if DC were older/left home and he was spending his own money it wouldn't really bother me. With my DP though I think this would be hobby related travel and so I would understand and probably do similar trips myself for my hobby that he doesn't really enjoy when have no DC to look after

No way. If you posted that you found out your husband was unfaithful on a boys trip to Thailand everyone would call you a fool for agreeing to it. There is no reason for a bunch of 40 something men to go away for two weeks on a holiday together. Yes for a weekend but long haul for two weeks, especially since money is not abundant. Has he been away before out of curiosity?