Witnessed fight and nobody did anything

[ComeOnNowww]

We live next to a quiet pub, but it's been much less quiet in recent weeks.

Went to window and there were 10 peole having a scrap in middle of road. In 40s and 50s. Irish (from their shouts) and probably from traveller community - i only say that as that affects how open they'd have been to police interference i guess?

They are all fighting and punches being thrown.Pretty chaotic. My husband is stood behind me also watching. For about 30 seconds, until I kick into action and call 999. A woman is dragged from the scrap and becomes clear it's all about one bloke against the woman. He manages to pin her up against the fence, (others trying to hold him back) and he headbuts her properly. I am narrating all of this to the police on the phone saynig i am witnessing a woman being hit and headbutted in the street.

Husband is behind me (we are by our front door) telling me to get off the phone and stay out of it!! a woman is being assulted in the street! After the headbut the other men manage to sit on the bloke and drag him away and once that guy is dragged away to further down the street - everything becomes calmer v quickly. I tell the police that the violence has stopped andwoman is crying and everyone is comforting her, the man can't be seen. Lots of shouting randomly and chaos still. think the bloke is some way down the stretet shouting things.

The call handler says "can i confirm the fight has dispersed" and i say yes - and then they say thank you for the report and of course no police appear at any point. Call handler ended call pretty quickly.

Both my own husband and the police seem remarkably unconcerned about the assult. I mean to be fair by the time they would have arrived - the people would have probably gone. I don't have a ring doorbell or anything.

I feel a bit dismayed at both my own husband the police. AIBU to expect more a response?

I'd be rethinking my marriage if my DH acted that way.
I suppose for the police, there's no one making a report of being assaulted. However, victims don't need to report domestic abuse for the police to take action now. It sounds like the incident could be recorded on CCTV. The right thing to do would be to attend and gather the evidence to try and find the victim and perpetrator, but maybe they don't have the resources.

I would be really disappointed in my husband too but I also wouldn’t want him going out there incase they jumped on him. You did the fight thing calling the police op, unfortunately I think that’s all you could do.

I once jumped out of bed, went over the road (in my PJs) as a woman was being assaulted by her husband. He ran out the house with a toddler in his arms trying to drag her in by the hair.
I heard a commotion first, looked out the window and saw her on the floor, I thought she had been attacked by a stranger.
Neighbors opening windows so they could see / hear better, not one of them came out.

I rang the Police, who were there on Blue Lights in minutes, threw him in the back of the van.

i was never asked to give a statement or anything, so assume it went nowhere - they moved out days later

What did you want your husband to do, go out and get his face smashed in?

It sounds like there were already lots of men there dragging the violent guy away from the woman? If I've read that right?

Someone did do something - you phoned the Police.

And people involved in the fight dragged the man away.

What were you wanting to happen? The Police to attend?

If your husband had got involved, he'd had been assaulted too. He made the correct decision to hold back and just be a witness rather than a casualty. Source: ex police officer.

In terms of the police turning up, if everyone has now dispersed, it's no longer a 999 priority for them. They cannot chase up every incident after they fact unfortunately but you'll probably find the pub have also reported it and it'll be reviewed in slow time with them if further offences have also been disclosed. If the woman is identified they may come back to you for a witness statement but otherwise I wouldn't expect much follow up with you.

I don’t mean to downplay it but this isn’t uncommon in pubs and bars so there is an element of being desensitised to it.

also, the fight has dispersed so the police aren’t required- the victim is of course free to make a report or seek medical attention, but the police can’t attend every call like that when there isn’t any need for them.

fights are shocking when you’re not used to them but sadly lots of people are.

Maybe stop discouraging her to get help for the woman getting her face smashed in from the police?

She’s very clear that what she is dismayed about is that he didn’t want her to call the police. That she was the only one that seemed to think this was necessary.

That was just fear taking. We all act irrationally at times. I think this should be viewed in a more generous light- it’s one action from the man the OP married.

Look this is not going to be popular but if it's travelers the Police don't tend to get involved because literally you and your husband's house would be attacked, you would be attacked by them, they would get on a phone and there would be hundreds turning up.

When there is a traveler funeral here all the businesses shut down even the GPS surgery shuts down because one slight kick off and you literally have hundreds of them kicking off smashing everything up the police are not capable or don't have a number to deal with it so they cannot get involved

Look this is not going to be popular but if it's travelers the Police don't tend to get involved because literally you and your husband's house would be attacked, you would be attacked by them, they would get on a phone and there would be hundreds turning up.

When there is a traveler funeral here all the businesses shut down even the GPS surgery shuts down because one slight kick off and you literally have hundreds of them kicking off smashing everything up the police are not capable or don't have a number to deal with it so they cannot get involved

That’s not ‘fighting amongst themselves’ - that’s a bigger, stronger man (most likely) head butting a smaller weaker woman. She wasn’t able to fight back in any meaningful way. It’s domestic abuse. It’s not just a brawl between equals.

I once rang the police in a similar situation. I was then threatened with violence by the same woman who was originally having her head stomped on because her boyfriend was now facing prison time.

What baffles me is all the women who say “DH didn’t do anything, didn’t try to stop them” … well why didn’t you? Why don’t you go out there and stop 10 men beating up a woman? Even if it’s one man. Instead of expecting someone else to do it and then complaining and questioning your marriage, why don’t you do something other than yelling down a phone from the safety of your home.

Exactly. They are a law unto themselves. I work in a supermarket in Ireland and they were at it again in the middle of the supermarket a few days ago.

This was NOT ‘a fight’ it was a man attacking a woman and other men trying to stop him. It’s not a fight or brawl between equals.

A man headbutted a woman!!!

My friend called the police when some bloke attacked her boyfriend on the street after the pub . Just walked up and started punching him then kicking him once he was down. The call handler said they’d send someone but when the assailant walked away they said they’d wouldn’t ( the operator was watching on cctv by that point) he could come to police station and make a statement if he wanted.

Was your DH worried that the amount of info you were giving might mean youd be involved as a witness at some point?

I was threatened with my home being set on fire the first and only time I was a witness to an assault so I kind of understand his reluctance for you to have been more involved than just reporting a fight/assault on X street.

Honestly, this would be my worry.

“A woman is dragged from the scrap and becomes clear it's all about one bloke against the woman. He manages to pin her up against the fence, (others trying to hold him back) and he headbuts her properly.”

This is NOT a ‘brawl’ or a ‘fight’ - it is a man attacking a woman.

I think you’re taking the posts in a way that is unintentional. Domestic violence is also endemic, as endemic as men fighting each other, and particularly so in the traveller community.
No one is justifying or downplaying it, we are telling op (as she asked) why people don’t do anything.

I live near 3 pubs and the violence off the scale and a fight happened most weekends, for about 8 years. I once helped a guy who was hit randomly on the head with a garden chair from the pub, twice, and bleeding massively outside my front door, not long after we moved here. While I stemmed the bleeding, covered him in a blanket and waiting for an ambulance and the police, another fight started right by us, I couldn't believe it. Ambulance took an hour and a 15 year old policeman turned up after 40 mins, totally uninterested.

I no longer get involved, if they want to smash each other up, go for it, it's not safe out there. I will call 999 and that's it. The police and the council had zero interest in the whole area until covid but they are quicker now if called because of the neighbours getting together and demanding a change and some CCTV. Tbh, the worst pub's landlord lost his licence and it changed hands and things got better. The kids with their cocaine have pretty much gone, for now.

She isn’t saying that. She is dismayed (and rightly so in my opinion) that he was dissuading her from calling the police.