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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still be upset about this dreadful driver?

241 replies

Netcurtainnelly · 21/06/2026 18:37

Mr net Curtain and I were driving down a country road on Friday and realised we were being tailgated.
I looked round and the driver was featuring us to go faster. We did not as we were already driving to the speed of the road

We just ignored him and carried on. Next thing he or someone behind him starts blasting the horn furiously obviously trying to get us to go faster
We did not eventually the driver turned off

It really unnerved me and made me nervous. I can't believe that people are prepared to cause a crash on a road just because they want you to hurry up.

Has this happened to anyone else? have experienced tailgaters before but never someone blasting their horn etc. So dangerous.

OP posts:
BringBackCatsEyes · 22/06/2026 09:54

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 22/06/2026 09:50

That’s not true. It is a goal because not driving at or around the limit is classed as failure to progress and is known to cause congestion and delays. You will fail your test for not driving at the limit when safe to do so. It’s rarely unsafe to do so unless it’s torrential downpour on the motorway or you’re driving on an unclassified country road.

It is very, very common (normal in fact) to NOT drive at 60mph on the tens of thousands of miles of rural roads where national speed limit applies.

Badbadbunny · 22/06/2026 09:55

ScrambledEggs12 · 21/06/2026 18:39

How fast were you driving?

Irrelevant. Bullying/abusive behaviour is NEVER acceptable, whatever the circumstances.

ithappenstootherfamilies · 22/06/2026 09:57

Netcurtainnelly · 22/06/2026 00:00

Not nervous and was driving to the speed of the road. Utterly taken aback at being tailgated and bullied just because someone is impatient. They could have caused an accident .

Ever thought your driving could be the factor behind the accident

DixonD · 22/06/2026 09:58

senua · 21/06/2026 18:48

have experienced tailgaters before but never someone blasting their horn etc. So dangerous.
And the common person factor in these experiences is ... ?

Don’t be ridiculous. You have to have been driving for a mere five minutes if you’ve never experienced a tailgater. Unless you’re one yourself…

DixonD · 22/06/2026 10:08

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/06/2026 20:04

I always understood that if you are being tailgated you should slow down to minimise the chances of injury if there is an accident.

I am sure my driving instructor told me that.

No, it’s to increase the distance between you and any vehicle in front, so you can then brake more slowly to avoid the twat behind you slamming into you.

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 22/06/2026 10:17

BringBackCatsEyes · 22/06/2026 09:54

It is very, very common (normal in fact) to NOT drive at 60mph on the tens of thousands of miles of rural roads where national speed limit applies.

You need more than cats eyes. My last sentence says that…

TomClarkson · 22/06/2026 10:27

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 22/06/2026 09:50

That’s not true. It is a goal because not driving at or around the limit is classed as failure to progress and is known to cause congestion and delays. You will fail your test for not driving at the limit when safe to do so. It’s rarely unsafe to do so unless it’s torrential downpour on the motorway or you’re driving on an unclassified country road.

This is actually bullshit. There are thousands of miles of NSL roads across the UK where it would be ludicrous to drive at NSL.

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 22/06/2026 10:34

TomClarkson · 22/06/2026 10:27

This is actually bullshit. There are thousands of miles of NSL roads across the UK where it would be ludicrous to drive at NSL.

Again. Literally says that in my post. I hope your driving is better than your comprehension. For all our sakes.

Ally886 · 22/06/2026 10:35

I'm a big advocate of driving to the conditions. A 60 on a back road is obviously a load of rubbish and if someone wants to go faster than I feel comfortable I just pull over and let them get on with their angry day. I don't need to be a apart of it!

However I do tend to drive over the speed limit in other circumstances if I feel it safe and admittedly get frustrated at those doing 40 on a straight wide road with miles of visibility

MandemChickenShop · 22/06/2026 10:38

the world is full of knob heads and some of them can drive. forget about it OP

JustFrustrated · 22/06/2026 10:41

W0tnow · 21/06/2026 18:47

I was in Cornwall recently and I was surprised at the amount of narrow, windy country roads with a speed limit of 60. There’s no was you could do 60 safely on a dual carriageway wide enough for one car with a passing space here and there.

A dual carriage way but only wide enough for one car?

what?

W0tnow · 22/06/2026 10:43

JustFrustrated · 22/06/2026 10:41

A dual carriage way but only wide enough for one car?

what?

I’ve addressed that twice now. 2-way, narrow rural road.

BIossomtoes · 22/06/2026 10:49

W0tnow · 22/06/2026 10:43

I’ve addressed that twice now. 2-way, narrow rural road.

A dual carriageway is two lanes in each direction.

BringBackCatsEyes · 22/06/2026 10:56

BIossomtoes · 22/06/2026 10:49

A dual carriageway is two lanes in each direction.

No. It’s defined by what’s in the middle dividing the carriageways. If there is a physical barrier it’s a dual carriageway.

OooPourUsACupLove · 22/06/2026 10:57

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 22/06/2026 10:34

Again. Literally says that in my post. I hope your driving is better than your comprehension. For all our sakes.

Your post also said "rarely". That's what people are disagreeing with. It's not rare at all. There are tens of thousands of miles of roads like this. Round my way I'd guesstimate 75% of the roads are unclassified single track.

JustFrustrated · 22/06/2026 10:57

W0tnow · 22/06/2026 10:43

I’ve addressed that twice now. 2-way, narrow rural road.

That’s not a dual carriageway: that’s a carriageway.

You need to brush up on your Highway Code

BIossomtoes · 22/06/2026 10:59

BringBackCatsEyes · 22/06/2026 10:56

No. It’s defined by what’s in the middle dividing the carriageways. If there is a physical barrier it’s a dual carriageway.

Bloody hell, you’re right. Thank you, I’ve been wrong about that for decades.

W0tnow · 22/06/2026 11:05

JustFrustrated · 22/06/2026 10:57

That’s not a dual carriageway: that’s a carriageway.

You need to brush up on your Highway Code

Like I said…. That’s 3 times.

Chocyulelog · 22/06/2026 11:13

WhatWouldDianeLockhartDo · 21/06/2026 20:43

there are two sides here and I’d say all three road users are in the wrong.

The fact that two of them were frustrated with you suggests that you were not driving to the conditions of the road. The fact you’re still worrying about it now suggests you are a nervous driver. Nervous drivers typically don’t drive to the conditions of the road - they drive to conditions they can handle. This makes them a danger. Get extra lessons as a top up if this is the case.

that doesn’t excuse what they did. There is never a need to threaten other road users but I have been known to flash people as if to say what the fuck are you doing? This would be when they’re driving super slow when safe to go faster, clearly on their phone or middle lane hogging. Legally if you’re in the way/causing an obstruction, you must pull over. That’s why tractors do.

I always drive at the speed limit or the safe speed for that road. Typically they only differ on small country lanes. If someone wants me to go faster, I’m 100% going slower. I had someone tailgating me and flashing as I overtook a vehicle in lane 3, we were in lane 4. I’m not sure where he wanted me to go as there was a car to the left. People are just really stupid and as there are less police, driving standards get much worse.

Nonsense. How silly to assume everyone was in the wrong.

There are some crazy crazy drivers out there - in my town we have 30 mph limits and a number of drivers (usually taxi drivers) bombing through at 50mph, and completely up in your behind if you dare to not breach the speed limit.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 22/06/2026 11:16

I've had this happen to me. Going from one motorway to another and the road has very steep turns. I was doing the speed limit as was shown but this car came right up behind me trying to make me go faster I just carried on as I was at the limit and driving safely. Got onto the motorway this car drives besides me and the driver is shouting, not helpful as both our windows up so I couldn't hear what we was saying! I just flipped him the bird and carried on.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/06/2026 11:17

If two cars behind were both blasting their horns you were probably right going too slow…

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/06/2026 11:17

This happens a lot more than you think. I live in Birmingham and my road is terrible! Also red traffic lights don’t apply!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/06/2026 11:18

I usually let people past in those circumstances…

Swiftie1878 · 22/06/2026 11:19

Netcurtainnelly · 22/06/2026 00:00

Not nervous and was driving to the speed of the road. Utterly taken aback at being tailgated and bullied just because someone is impatient. They could have caused an accident .

What do you mean by driving to the speed of the road? Do you mean at the speed limit?

NotTerfNorCis · 22/06/2026 11:23

Some people getting angry and aggressive on this thread at the thought of someone driving within the speed limit. Unless the conscientious driver is absolutely taking the piss - which admittedly does happen - then it's these aggressive and self righteous types who're in the wrong, and dangerous.