How would you feel if your husband acted like this?

[Ledek]

So we were at our local bowling alley. Sat next to a group of girls. Age range 11 or so to mid 20s. They are having a nice time. Laughing/giggling. Not being overly boisterous and annoying.

Anyway, at one point husband realised they must have thrown the ball into your lane as we are a go behind. Think no more of it. You then see it happen again. Husband gets angry. He throws ball into their lane (copying what they did) and tells wthem in a very stern, loud voice to pack it in.

The other person with you is clearly uncomfortable and tries not to react.

The girls at the very end mumble sorry to the other person and they say “don’t worry, it was absolutely fine” in a reassuring manner. It gets back to you that the person you went with was very embarrassed and said they would have had to step in and tell husband to back down if he had gone any further. This other person now thinks husband is a hot head and not overly pleasant to be around. Probably won’t make an effort in the future.

How would you view your husband had he behaved this way?

I don’t get it - if they were throwing the ball down your lane on purpose then yes I’d tell them to stop. I wouldn’t get aggressive though. It’s not really fine to bowl on a lane someone else has paid for though is it?

Not on purpose. Bad at bowling.

He does sound quite unpleasant in the way he spoke to the women/girls in the next lane and it made your friend/relative feel uncomfortable.

Does he often lose his temper over trivial things?

I think he was an arsehole, I would bet he wouldn’t have spoken to a group of boys like that.

id also guess he was difficult to live with, and thinks he some sort of lord expecting to worshiped.

He sounds a bit of dick tbh. Is he ultra competitive? I would have also been pissed off at him (unless the girls were mucking about and not concentrating).

Your friend is perceptive.

How did you not notice the first time, you said it only clicked when you were a go behind?

I have to say I can't see how you can repeatedly bowl into next doors alter unless your being a dick but I'd have just got someone to reset our lane both times.

He could have said something to the adult woman there, but he needed to talk to her like a mutual grown adult. Woukd he have spoken like that to a group of lads?

I'd be furious with DH. I don't get why you thought it was fine until you found out your friend was upset and telling people about it

Really struggling to understand the second person pov but your dh sounds reasonable.

I think the other person is trying to say to you ‘Your husband is a bit of a cock, they were nice girls, why on earth didn’t you tell him to shut up’.

And I would agree. I would have told him not to be a twat and it was just young girls who were crap at bowling.

H was aggressive. Friend not U to not want to spend time with H.

As the wife is still married to him she presumably knows what he’s like in different situations and either doesn’t mind or doesn’t consider it a deal breaker. So she’s chosen to tolerate being in situations like this.

He wouldn’t have been as pissy if it was a load of tattooed blokes in football shirts.

Poor girls. He sounds like a bully.

You H is a bit of a dick. He had no need to shout. He could have spoken reasonably to the older women in the group and asked them to be more careful. A quick word with the staff and they would have reset your lane when you explained. Yes, annoying, but not the end of the world. I wouldn't be impressed if I'd been with someone who behaved like this.

How do you bowl into someone else’s lane?!

BS, no one is that bad at bowling that they get the ball into another lane!

You also wrote the OP in the most annoying way. Just say how it happened.
It sounds like you are writing it from everyones point of view, very odd.

So they need to ask for the little lane railings to be put up.

You can't just ruin other people's games because you're bad at yours 🤷‍♂️

Why can't you just write this in a normal way from your Pov.

It's honestly hard to see how it happened twice by accident. And you didn't see it happen the first time, so you don't know for sure. If your husband thought they did it on purpose, twice, then telling them to pack it in doesn't seem unreasonable. But how angry was he? How did you feel about his reaction? Does he have a temper? Would he have had the same reaction if a group of men had done the same? Would you be dwelling on it if your friend hadn't been there? You seem more worried about her opinion of him than how you feel about his behaviour.

He IS a hothead. I would be embarrassed by his petty childishness.

How do you get a ball in someone else's lane. If you don't have the sides up and the ball veers off it goes down the gully not the next lane.

Are you the other person op?

This other person now thinks husband is a hot head and not overly pleasant to be around

I think that sounds reasonably accurate. It’s what I’d assume if I was out with him and I didn’t know him that well already.

I can’t imagine how you can bowl on the wrong lane. It’s directly in front of where you sit.

YABU to call a woman in her mid 20s a girl.

This what I assumed too

Surely it's umpossible to do this by accident. I go bowling often. I'd of complained about them at the desk, as well as telling them straight.

I've been bowling many times with new and bad bowlers (ie kids birthday parties) and nobody has ever managed to bowl down the wrong lane. Were they getting the lanes muddled and starting from the wrong lane or really throwing the ball so it bounced over - in which case I'd think staff would have had a word with them? Or was the system glitching and nobody was actually bowling in the wrong lane? You or your husband (or the third person you were with??) should have talked to staff not had a go at the other group.

Nobody is that bad at bowling.