How would you feel if your husband acted like this?

[Ledek]

So we were at our local bowling alley. Sat next to a group of girls. Age range 11 or so to mid 20s. They are having a nice time. Laughing/giggling. Not being overly boisterous and annoying.

Anyway, at one point husband realised they must have thrown the ball into your lane as we are a go behind. Think no more of it. You then see it happen again. Husband gets angry. He throws ball into their lane (copying what they did) and tells wthem in a very stern, loud voice to pack it in.

The other person with you is clearly uncomfortable and tries not to react.

The girls at the very end mumble sorry to the other person and they say “don’t worry, it was absolutely fine” in a reassuring manner. It gets back to you that the person you went with was very embarrassed and said they would have had to step in and tell husband to back down if he had gone any further. This other person now thinks husband is a hot head and not overly pleasant to be around. Probably won’t make an effort in the future.

How would you view your husband had he behaved this way?

Yes your husband is an angry arse and I wouldn't want to be near him, much less socialising with him.
He clearly made a show of himself.

You would have to be spectacularly shit for those to happen

I can't really follow the who did what explanation.... but, the DH was being OTT to bowl down their lane and to go straight to angry and stern. I would have likely found him a bit unpleasant and unnecessarily confrontational about something really quite trivial. It would put me off spending time with him in future. However, I wouldn't have put the blame on the wife for not intervening in her DH's behaviour. He is responsible for his own behaviour, it's not down to another adult to manage him.

I also have no idea how anyone could accidentally, by being bad at bowling, get their bowl in the wrong lane. Unless they were actually chucking it rather than bowling it down the lane. Maybe.

It just needed a quiet word with them to be careful, and then if it happened again I would have asked the staff to speak to them.

I would be annoyed because they were taking your goes that you paid for.

However, I don’t understand why he went straight to rude and doing it back to them - unless they were doing it intentionally.

I would have gently asked them to put the barriers up as it’s taking your goes.

If I saw a grown man being aggressive towards 11yos then I would have gone mad at him.
How intimidating for them.

Your post is a big tricky to follow but I agree that he seems like an angry man and wonder if this was a group of 6ft men if he’d have reacted the same way.

He's a cock, as a grumpy 57 year old I'd laugh it off. It's fucking American bowling not the world cup final....he's a cock.

Mind you if it were west country skittles it'll be kicking off...

He definitely should not have reacted that aggressively... but it's unfair to call it just a silly, frivolous thing.

As well as it being intensely annoying - and I'd assume that they were doing it deliberately, as it's extremely difficult to accidentally get a ball in somebody else's lane - it spoils your whole game, as you then don't get your own accurate score; and you can't even mentally adjust it to what it should have been, because you can't replicate how many pins would have been left and where, or indeed if you'd got a strike and doubled scores/turkeys/bonus balls. Fair enough if their group was just having a laugh, but a lot of people do take it seriously and care about their score.

As I say, he shouldn't have been aggressive about it; but I can understand his frustration - and how he may have seen repaying them in kind as the only way he could think of to demonstrate to them just how irritating it is.

I don't get that thinking. Why should everybody be expected to be only messing around, and nobody allowed to take it seriously and try for their best score? Even if you don't care about your actual score, presumably you've gone there and paid because you wanted to bowl a game's worth of balls down the lane, and so would quite like to actually be able to do what you've paid for.

And how do you think that people even get to elite levels in prominent sporting events if they never practised and trained at grass roots level at one point?

i can’t see how you can do that by being bad at bowling. Sounds more like they were messing around or doing it deliberately.
id be peed off.

Exactly. You can't unless its deliberate in which case your DH was right to be annoyed. Ususl MN scenario. Person A does something very annoying. Person B is annoyed/angry. Great pile on saying how awful person B is.

YABU, and I can't stand wet lettuces. Why would anyone stand around mute, while someone else bowls in their lane?

None if this story makes sense. How could they bowl in your lane without any of you noticing? They would have had to be standing right in front of you. Balls can't skip over to the next Lane there's gutters down the side.

There’s very little chance they accidentally bowled the wrong lane twice OP, it’s not the end of the world if your DH pulled them up on it in a less than perfect way!

I'm struggling to imagine how you could possibly "accidently" bowl in someone else's lane. I'd probably ask the staff to deal with it if the teens were ruining your game.

But, I wouldn't have behaved aggressively to a bunch of kids.

They weren't even all kids, though - some of them were mid-20s. Presumably they couldn't have booked and done it if they hadn't had adults with them.

Even if they weren't their parents or guardians, it's very poor form on the part of the adults who were supervising/accompanying them to just let the youngsters deliberately spoil other people's games for a giggle without saying anything.