Due to the breakdown of the relationship with my son's father I ended up very much reliant on my parents (mainly my Mum for support). They were a brilliant safety net at the time, they invited DS and I to live with them as well as helping with ad-hoc childcare for a couple of years around my work.
In the past few years I have dug myself out of a hole of debt (shared debt with ex partner who never contributed a penny to paying it off). Met a lovely new partner and have recently moved area, bought a house and our life is pretty good. We're not particularly well off but we're not paycheck to paycheck either.
We don't need help, and this could not have upset the applecart in my family more.
We do not ask my Mum for help as any help from her comes with a conditions.
If she has offered any kind of support that has been accepted, you will then be beholden to agree with her on any given issue.
She thinks the sky is purple? If you dare say it's blue you're an ungrateful wretch because she did X for you on X date.
Hence, my mum doesn't get asked for help.
And the thing is, she utterly hates that. It's possible (likely) that I'm biased but she has absolutely no power over my life or it's outcomes anymore, she doesn't provide support and isn't asked for it so when I am making a decision she doesn't like there's nothing she can threaten or bully me with to get her way.
My sibling, who needs a lot of support financially and with childcare does have to march to the beat of our mother's drum or risk having it all removed for having an opinion.
Please let it be noted that these decisions I make have zero impact on her. A example being that she didn't like the way I arranged a display at my business, I wouldn't let her change it (because it was doing exactly what it needed to do!). Which in turn lead to a big argument over WhatsApp as she was already mad at me for dying my hair a colour she wasn't fond of and then not running off to change it when she said so.
This feels all so ridiculous to type out but it's unfortunately, true!
She has now asked for a sum of money back she gave me (unprompted- I didn't want or need it- and haven't spent it knowing this is what she's do. I couldn't have sent it back in the first instance as this would have caused another argument!). The money has been returned to her, and I've been told she needs space from me and been blocked by her on messaging apps.
Am I being unreasonable to keep on being a horrible daughter and living my own life against her wishes?
Or should buck up my ideas?
(Not a proper AIBU I guess but needed a rant because she's absolutely bloody mental)