to drop my son late to school tomorrow?

[bellastricken]

My son has had 4 nights of very little sleep (think 6-7 hours). He usually sleeps ok but we have just moved house and he is very unsettled. He has asd, adhd and a mild learning disability. He has only just fallen asleep and I just want to let him sleep in the morning until he wakes up naturally. WIBU to call the school tomorrow to say he is going to be in late because he's exhausted?

Oh do get lost. The child is 7 ffs

She is actually teaching him that there are times when we all need a reset and that instead of carrying on til he melts down or burns out that it is ok to tane a step back and protect himself.

930 to sleep for a 7 year old really isn’t that late

I'd take him in late, better than not being in at all. Hope he begins to settle into his new room soon.

God sake he’s 7 and not even going to be going in an hour late.

I think it’s really important to teach our children to listen to their bodies.
I don’t think it’s entitlement either, a burnout child is horrendous for everyone especially them.

@IhatelittlefriendsusanSorry was meant to be quoting @lucieskin22

If you started work at 8 would you still send him in late?

Let him sleep in and drop later. Anything to support more sleep. I'm also a teacher and would often have attendance notes like this.

Its end of term here and my dd with ASD is going home at 1 o clock every day just to support her being in the classroom..

He's 7 not 37 🤣

I don't start work at 8 so 🤷‍♀️

Thanks all. He's still asleep so I'm going to let him sleep until 8 then wake him up. His school starts at 8:30 so he will be in at 9:30 so only an hour late.

@lucieskin22 👍

Just got flashbacks to when my ex used to put a passive aggressive thumbs up when I said something he didn't like ha!

Oh I am sorry. It wasn't intended in that way at all! I hope you are well over him and have a lovely day. x

Good grief he's 7. I would do this for my NT child if she had had very disrupted sleep for whatever reason

I think my only concern would be this would become a regular pattern. If you do it today will he expect it everyday.
Also I don't know how your son does at school but we have some who would easily become dysregulated due to arriving late and being on the backfoot. The work will have been explained to them and they will then have to just slot in and get on with it. Feeling overwhelmed and the lack of control would lead to meltdowns for some of ours. Yes a teacher or a TA (if there is one) might be able to give a quick overview, but with 30 kids in the class it might not be the same level of explanation as the class would have received.

I would be talking more to the teacher/sendco about his sleep patterns and what they suggest (and maybe they would put in place a late start for him anyway).

Email them now don't ring. Or use arbor, bromcom, school gateway etc if they have it.

Basically don't ring and make them listen to a long explanation that they'll have to write down and then type up. Just give them the info.

@lucieskin22 if you were mentally and physically exhausted would you use some annual leave to give yourself a break and generally stay sane?

I ask this because we often talk about building resilience in children but this often means treating them like second class citizens and it can be damaging for their health long term. This is particularly true for children on the spectrum.

Kids don't have the option of opting out for a morning/day during term time. Adults very often do. As parents it's our job to step in and speak up.

@bellastricken you're doing the right thing.

It’s a reasonable adjustment under the disability act which applies to autism so why not. Tell them you will be bringing him in later because he is struggling and it’s tough. What are they going to do as a one off anyway.

This attitude is what's wrong with this country.

Mollycoddling ...and yes a 7 year old is prime age to be teaching these life skills.

Yes, he's 7.

That's exactly why you teach him now. If you teach him that whenever life gets difficult the rules no longer apply, don't be surprised when he grows up expecting the world to make exceptions for him.

It’s one day. So fucking dramatic. If your kids can’t accept that something is a one off and it’s back to normal the next day then I can see why you struggle so much with the concept. Mine are fine with it though.

I would have taken him in on time, but mine easily functioned on 2- 4 hours sleep. Letting them sleep in won’t break the cycle.

Wowzers, you peeps need to seriously put your tampons back in! Blimey!

FYI I run a business. If I stayed in bed every time I was mentally exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed or dealing with personal problems, let alone just tired I'd have gone bankrupt years ago.

My team rely on me. My customers rely on me and i won't let them down because it's not all about me and how I'm feeling in that moment.

As someone who is severely neurodiverse, i don't want to be treated like a victim and I don't think neurodiverse children should be either.

Support them, encourage them and believe in them - but don't underestimate them, label them or teach them to see themselves as victims. Help them see what they can do, not just what they find difficult.

It’s a lie in for one morning. Chill out.

Won't he wake up naturally early though? It's like a built in mechanism of the little darlings. As it's Friday I probably wouldn't, better to be a bit tired and actually sleep well at the weekend.