to drop my son late to school tomorrow?

[bellastricken]

My son has had 4 nights of very little sleep (think 6-7 hours). He usually sleeps ok but we have just moved house and he is very unsettled. He has asd, adhd and a mild learning disability. He has only just fallen asleep and I just want to let him sleep in the morning until he wakes up naturally. WIBU to call the school tomorrow to say he is going to be in late because he's exhausted?

My son has an ADHD diagnosis...

Thanks for asking.

It’s not a good night for OP’s DS, though.
Thankfully in my DS’s case, school are supportive and pragmatic and would rather have him in late and rested than on time, exhausted and disregulated.

But of course you know that all children with ADHD/ASD are different, and some can cope with things that others can’t?

Just email the school first thing and say he had a bad nighy he's still sleeping and he will be in later.

He will miss his morning mark but he will be there to enjoy the majority of Friday.
Then you've got the weekend to get back on track.

The assumption was that my child didn't have ADHD and I was talking out of my arse.

But nice backtracking.

My very much non high functioning ASD son is the opposite to this. The more over tired he gets, the more wired he is, the later his bedtime becomes and the less he sleeps. They’re all different.

I’m not backtracking, it wasn’t me who said it.

Still the assumption. Still the lack of boundaries.

Kids with ADHD need consistency and boundaries. They will cope with lack of sleep. They won't understand the lack of consistency.

As you need to be at work by 10am what the latest time you need to drop him at school? And what the latest time he needs to wake up to get ready?

It’s one day, hardly lack of consistency

My diagnosed Audhd 9 year old has 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night. On the very odd occasion her body let's her sleep we go with it. School mark her as late and we go on with our lives. Not sure it will be possible in secondary, but her primary school is happy with it.

I vote let him sleep in.

I didn’t assume anything.
My child with ASD, ADHD and learning difficulties needs different things to your child with ADHD. I’m guessing the OP’s child needs different things to either of our children. The parent is best placed to know what their particular child needs.

Yes we have the same and I wouldn’t take her in late. Dd is still awake now, it’s usual for her to be awake at 9.30. She’s 5.

This is a strange reply! It was clear from your post that your child is ND so no need for this I thought SEND parents were supposed to have some sort of ubderstanding and solidarity?

Says someone who clearly had absolutely no clue about neurodivergence.

@bellastricken I would absolutely do this and I would also have it added to his ehcp at the next review about his sleep quality and that he may need occasional allowances for catch up.

Dd has recently had her diagnosis but we have suspected for a long while. Her sleep goes clean out the window with any sort of disruption to her routine or the familiar. We have. On occasion, taken a MH day. I am very lucky that my job are very understanding and I am frequently online working at 10pm onwards if I need to have discussions with our Mexican/US suppliers so I am guven a fiar but if leeway. Dd's school are aware that when she becomes too overwhelmed that she needs a day or so to "reset" and fully support it. She is at secondary and is a high performing student who gets straight A's (no idea where she gets her aptitude from cos I had to work my ass off to just scrape mediocre lol) so they have no concerns about her keeping/catching up.

My only caveat would be that tomorrow is friday so it might just be better to send him in as normal tomorrow and let him catch up over the weekend.

Sadly not if they think you’re doing parenting wrong 😏

Take him in late. I will sometimes let DS have the day off or go in late if he's exhausted. There is no point in sending an overtired child with SEN to school because they will not cope and you'll probably get a phone call to pick up
My DSs school are excellent and would rather he went in happy and rested than upset and tired. If the school is supportive (or even if they're not really)! take him in a bit later. Although as PP said now you've decided to do this he'll be awake by 6.

I think that's fine. I have an autistic child with complex needs that sleeps terribly so we have an arrangement with the ht to get to him to school by 10am after a bad night , we just have to email ahead to notify them.

If he absolutely must be on time then we make it happen even if sleep has been awful.

A well regulated child is the priority for most schools.

Cumulatively over 5 consecutive nights it is!!

if you need to be in the office and working by 10am realistically how late are you even going to be dropping him off anyway. 9.30 instead of 9?

4 hours less sleep is not vastly lower? I’d argue otherwise.

As it's Friday, is it worth trying for a good kip Friday night/Saturday morning? If not, having fallen asleep by 9.30pm tonight, will he'll sleep through until 6.30-7am? 9, 9.5hrs?

Hope he settles well in the new house soon.

You know your kid best. For mine, going in late would be worse than going in tired. If going in later is going to help him, just do it

my boy (asd)just had a day off for this very reason. He has been getting more and more withdrawn and exhausted as the weeks go on. He has exams next week so im hoping the rest day will stop him getting ill with it. We have to do this periodically. School are ok they know I will get him in everytime i can but they also know if I dont let him rest when he gets like this then they can lose him for over week.

Of course it’s fine.

You're teaching him that it's okay to lie in and that the world revolves around him. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and unfortunately having neurodevelopmental conditions doesn't give you a free pass. It means you often have to work harder, find what you're good at and focus on your strengths.

You can't spend your life making excuses. That just creates the wrong attitude and a sense of entitlement. It's also unfair on the rest of the class.

The best thing you can do is keep routines and expectations as normal as possible. I genuinely can't believe some of the comments suggesting this is completely normal and acceptable