So there we were, on a yacht, playing happy Real Families when all of a sudden...

[SadTimesInFife]

..an unexpected squall damaged the thing made of brass, and stuff got tangled, and before you knew it...

An orca showed up.

And swam along side the boat, …

Those bloomin' gulls.

You were boarded by pirates, hired by your husband?

And the periscope of a Russian Sub The Red October came face to face with you...

And started playing Bohemium Rapsidy.

A dinghy full of my stepchildren turned up, captained by my DH. My DS grew hot with rage, punched a hole in the dinghy with a knife from the kitchen, and shouted, “You’re not my real dad!”

Or reading another thread on here the ex husband

The nearby Russian vessel started firing at us.

A Russian warship fired a torpedo?

The alarm clock went off?

All I could hear with this really creepy music - it was just two notes going "da der, da der, da der" and getting faster and faster, so we told our DS to stop playing his cello and help keep a lookout for the shark...🐬

Everyone managed to enjoy the child's birthday celebration, without fucking each other.

The captain started rearranging the deckchairs...

I'd started a new life in Panama.

...and a strangely familiar Scottish voice boomed out from the periscope...

And then ate a marmalade sandwich.

"Keep it under your hat", said a small brown bear

... the sleeve of the ex slid up his sourdough-crust-hard forearm revealing a hint of tattoo... one made with the point of a compass on a slow Wednesday....

And I said "what the fuck is Sean Connery doing on here?"

Luckily at that moment a mega rich ex football player , his wife and some of their children sailed up, recognised that this was a perfect opportunity for a reputation enhancing photo opportunity and insisted we all came aboard for champagne cocktails and frozen grapes.

They smelled absolutely delicious btw and luckily had some spare bottles of their signature fragrances which we were happy to have the chance to purchase.

When the tangled-up stuff blew overboard, the orca got snarled in it. We were just about to throw DS in to see if he could use his knife to cut the whale free before it ate the stepchildren, when an amplified voice from the Russian warship boomed "Это мои дети!"

Ww mansged to find a desert island and spent a happy few months living like the Swiss family Robinsons.

I saw the start of the other thread but what have I missed that started this fun so I can join in??

Just at that moment, before we could ascertain just whose kids were being claimed, Elon Musk’s superyacht passed, dwarfing everyone in its monstrous shadow. A senile orange-faced OAP in a red cap popped up on the top deck. He billowed through his bigly tannoy that this Russian warship was no match for him, and that he would have the issue sorted in under 24 hours, unlike stupid Obama. And by the way, who are these children in question? If they’re hot young blondes, he might want to grab some of them by the pu$$y.