Need advice

[Kiki19930]

My bf works at Greggs a manager there
is worrying me I’ve told my bf what she doing
and he won’t do nothing
he told me they aren’t alllwed to message them
ouyside of group chat
she did and she was putting loads of laughing faces asking him to come in early cos it was only her and one other
they don’t neee 3 people on
he replied and lied to me about what messages said but showed me in person he told me he put no back
he actually replied to her
saying no sorry I’m at gym lol
now that to me is wrong
he told me next day she asked him what he had her saved on WhatsApp he didn’t say no I haven’t your just a work colleague he said nothing
he then said he was talking to someone at work sayinf I think he a cheat and she then turns round to him and said I’ll call u up next time you with ur gf I’ll call u up he said nothing agin
he told me he reported her for messaging outside group chat told me the shop manager told her off

even her bf said to my bf I think she seeing someone
then he went into there work and spoke to one of managers and told them he think that my bf and her are doing that

she said apparently to my bf when he was picking up Heavy stuff that is hot as fuck he said. Nothing

He soad there is a rumour going round work she said she would sleep with him told him she don’t wanna sleep with her bf
she messaged him again today about work again asking Come in early
so I got upset

now am
i in wrong here

In English??

What?

Im sorry, but your pre edited reply made me lol.

Sorry I’m autistic and it struggle with wording if u don’t understand then pls don’t need to comment

She is sexually harassing him.

His strategy has been mostly to ignore her, which is understandable given that she's a manager - many people feel that confronting these people could make things difficult for them. That said, he has reported her behaviour in the past and she was told off, so there is obviously someone he trusts and could go to.

I think it's his situation to manage, but you should be on hand to support him with escalating if he needs it. And really I think he should look at finding a different job.

Well today he said to me he won’t tell me again if she messages him cos of my reaction
i Said so you just admitted to me you will
hide them so now u know u two can message and you won’t twll me he said well your actions caused this he still has the messages from her on his phone still
last time he deleted them
after showing me cos he didn’t want her on his phone
not this time

Think your best off without a boyfriend

It sounds terribly childish. How old are the three of you?

Excuse me ?
how I come here for advice if you don’t want to then don’t comment ?

It was a genuine question. The advice I would give depends on the answer.

This wasn’t very clear but it sounds like your DP is being sexually harassed at work, has shared everything with you, and you’ve responded with suspicion and disbelief. I can see why he doesn’t want to share with you any more.

Your bf needs to simply reply ‘messages are only accepted in group chat’ every time. And then every time she doesn’t, he tells the manager.

He needs to just tell you he’s doing this and then actually do it. To keep telling you everything she does and show kept messages etc suggests he enjoys the drama, and that isn’t a great look for him.

Because all this and he had chances to shut her down and has not
i asked him he saw what’s it doing to me
he admitted defending her against me too
he said if he has a go at her she will report him
I said don’t need to be rude u could ask her for a chat and tell her ur not happy about rumour about wanting to sleep with him and it won’t happen and to keep it professional. At work
he said he will do that and he still won’t and I know he won’t

also how is him admitting to me he will hide messages ok?
I had no right to have a reaction then ?

But he won’t stop it or put stop to it when he could if shop manager tolD her off for messaging then why do it again

Even when he was she did it then he left the group chat so how she have his number and she stll
mesaged he said last time he reported it and this time he said it about work what issue
erm hello it was work last time
and the only one there who does it
the shop
managwr can do it yeah but now oh she a manager she can
yet he told
me they aren’t alllowed to and thay anything about work is in group chat
today he tells me what’s the problem
only about work !

Anyone here

I’d say none of you are ready for any type of relationship at the moment.
Maybe in a few years time you’ll remember this whole scenario and realize how childish and immature it all is!

I’d love to know how this is childish and immature seriously how nasty can people get

Please……..🙄

Seriously no need for it
ain’t immature or childish how dare you

I think you should read my reply again - THE SITUATION seems childish and immature - but go ahead, please, continue showing your maturity by your replies!

It does sound like he's enjoying it if he has an easy way to shut it down and isn't doing so.

I think him approaching her to say he isn't happy about the rumour where she apparently said she wanted to sleep with him is a bad idea.
He needs to report the concerns to the senior manager he reported them to previously, so he can be properly supported and the complaint can be investigated.
This website may help you/him:
www.acas.org.uk/sexual-harassment

Your bf should have shut this down. As a manager he has responsibilities to make sure staff follow the rules yet he’s ignoring them.

He’s clearly messaging her and not being honest with you. You have to decide if you want to risk building a relationship with this man. Can you trust him?

I would be moving on.

She is the manager
I checked WhatsApp she is. Not in his frequently contacted or a context but I don’t know
wanted to see if anyone can see what I see