AIBU to be fed up with partner smoking indoors?

[TheEdgyMember]

My partner won’t stop smoking in the house. She sits at the kitchen table drinking tea and smoking constantly. It’s her comfort zone. I’ve asked her to stop and she’s agreed. I bought a shed at her request to use in inclement weather. Now she smokes indoors on the finest days. I brought it up again and she says she just doesn’t want to smoke elsewhere and she doesn’t want to discuss it, it’s an open plan area and I’m sick of the smoke. This is utterly unlike her usual behaviour in the relationship. It’s like where the addiction is concerned she’s a different person.

Leave the bastard.

In this day and age there's no excuse to be smoking inside. Gross. Do you have children?

That’s grim. I wouldn’t even date someone who smokes. How have you ever ended up moving in together? It’s not 1991 anymore.

It is gross, presumably she has always smoked indoors since you moved in together? If you knew she did it and still chose to live with her, you chose to put up with this. If this is a new habit, YANBU but if it’s existing YABu.

Vile, I'd end a relationship over that.

Yanbu it’s 20206, it’s widely accepted that smoking in homes is not only dangerous but also just grim.
But she’s out right saying she’s not going to stop so the only thing you can really do is figure out if this is a dealbreaker for you or not.

Assuming that they were already a smoker, why did you even move in together?

@TheEdgyMember Oh, that is so sad. I know people that smoke, nothing wrong with that,their body, their choice, but smoking in the house is a no! Not when others live there. Does your partner not care about your health.

I grew up with people smoking everywhere. I am an ex smoker, gave up many, many years ago.
We have comes so far as a country of smokers
to where we are now.

Not in the house! Comfort zone my foot!

Smoking is an absolutely disgusting habit and I wouldn’t even think of entertaining a relationship with someone who did smoke.

It’s such an unattractive and unhygienic habit.

But the question is surely they already smoked when you got together?

My PIL smoke in their house and i refuse to go round there. The smell is vile. Even when they come here I can smell it on their coats and clothes. I have to put throws down on the sofa. This would be a deal breaker for me.

Don’t put up with it. It’s not addiction, it’s that she is being a selfish shit.

@TheEdgyMember buy some white paint and re-paint a strip of your kitchen ceiling, she’ll see the difference in colour caused by the smoke/nicotine/tar whatever, it sticks to everything and turns everything yellow/brown.

Only agree to repaint the rest if she agrees not to damage it again.

I have never smoked in my life but was brought up by parents and step parents ts who all smoked.
I am now undergoing tests to find out is I have lung cancer as a recent ct scan found a 6mm nodule on the bottom of my right lung..
It is bloody selfish if she refuses to smoke outdoors, the damage done to others can be catastrophic. I see the Thoracic team on tuesday and will find out next steps. Passive smoking kills.

Nah. I couldn’t even be with a smoker, especially if insisted on smoking indoors.

My best friend was a smoker. She’s dead now (old age) but when she was alive she religiously only smoked outside come rain or shine. Her home was lovely and smoke free. That’s the standard OP.

I come onto Mumsnet for a ten minute break, before I know it, it's 20206

I would not want to live with someone who smoked in the house. It's very selfish of them to refuse to go outside.

Smoking at all is gross and smoking inside is particularly bad. Whose property is it? If it's hers and you moved in I think the only option is to move out again. I can't imagine it's rented as no landlord would be ok with this, if you own jointly you have just as much right as an owner as she does, do you declare her smoking inside to your home insurance? I would struggle to get past something this selfish to be honest

Brilliant 😂

Not a fuckimg chance could I live with this vile stench on me and my stuff. Not to mention the harm she's doing to your health. Why on earth don't you move out?

As an occasional smoker I think smoking indoors is revolting!

You bought her a shed to smoke in? 😂😂

Fuck that I wouldnt contemplate being in a relationship with a smoker. It makes me really sick.

Who owns the house? If it's yours, tell her to move out. Who even wants to date a smelly smoker these days 🤢 no need for it.

This would be a definite dealbreaker for me.