AIBU to be fed up with partner smoking indoors?

[TheEdgyMember]

My partner won’t stop smoking in the house. She sits at the kitchen table drinking tea and smoking constantly. It’s her comfort zone. I’ve asked her to stop and she’s agreed. I bought a shed at her request to use in inclement weather. Now she smokes indoors on the finest days. I brought it up again and she says she just doesn’t want to smoke elsewhere and she doesn’t want to discuss it, it’s an open plan area and I’m sick of the smoke. This is utterly unlike her usual behaviour in the relationship. It’s like where the addiction is concerned she’s a different person.

Would never have a relationship with a smoker. It's vile. Growing up with a selfish bitch of a 'mother' who insisted on smoking inside, in the car, in bed despite my dad and I hating it, it shows a level of inconsiderateness which would end a relationship. No way would I put up with this.

Know loads of smokers. Not one of them smokes indoors because they're not selfish. Two have non-smoking partners who don't care they smoke but they would never subject them to their dirty smoke indoors.

Vile. Would never even consider a relationship with a smoker.

i would ltb over this.

its disgusting and passive smoking is life threatening to you too.
if she wont smoke in the she-shed/outside then i’d be instigating divorce proceedings.

both my parents smoked. it’s killed one and is working on the other who is in poor health likely caused by smoking, according to the hospital.

Could she invest in an air purifier and ventilator. A proper one, a Dyson or similar.

I couldn't date a smoker. Let alone one that selfish.

Personally I'd be really pissed off that she has shown you so little respect.

It would be relationship over for me.

I smoke (not inside) i don’t drink though but I do smoke I did vape for a bit to stop and found all I did was vape so went back to my few cigarettes sa day. I think it depends who owns the house. I don’t think I’m ggross I brush my teeth and wash my hands after every cigarette and try and wear the same old jacket outside to limit the clothes it’s near. But I do find peoples opinions on it funny. Everyone in my friendship group smokes. It’s so funny where different groups of people and what’s normal around different people

I smoke (not inside) i don’t drink though but I do smoke I did vape for a bit to stop and found all I did was vape so went back to my few cigarettes sa day. I think it depends who owns the house. I don’t think I’m ggross I brush my teeth and wash my hands after every cigarette and try and wear the same old jacket outside to limit the clothes it’s near. But I do find peoples opinions on it funny. Everyone in my friendship group smokes. It’s so funny where different groups of people and what’s normal around different people

I have two family members who smoke. None of my friends do.

I wouldn't have started one!

It's hideous watching a lived one die from smoking-related illness, isn't it? My mother died from lung cancer - she had smoked heavily for decades and then gave up - but the damage was already done. A very unpleasant way to die.

My step-mother used to smoke heavily (about 20 a day) indoors all the time I lived at home. It was a lot more acceptable in the past to do this but now... definitely not! One of the best things about moving out was not having my clothes reek of smoke any more.

The irony is that my Dad (who gave up smoking early 30s) is the one who has COPD now but my step-mother who was the heavy smoker has escaped any smoking related serious illness. Being a passive smoker is just as bad.

If your partner cares about your health, she would smoke outside.

I couldn't abide this.

I couldn't even date a smoker, let alone live with them no matter where they smoked. Yuk.

I find most smokers are extremely selfish. They see having a smoke as something they are 'entitled' to. Afew have actually used that word to me. "Im entitled to a smoke"...

My ex was the same. He point blank refused to smoke outside and we had so many arguments over it. We broke up over other things but it took nearly 2 years to get the smell of smoke out of the house. And that was after repainting and replacing some furniture.

This OP. Your partner needs to change.
@flirtybird sorry to hear what you are going through. Wishing you a positive outcome.

My mum smokes indoors and I bloody hate it. I hate going round, hate the smell (it clings to my hair and clothes which have to be washed when I am home) I can also strongly smell it on my mum when shes out and about. Smoking is so vile. I am super sensitive to the smell now it makes me feel nauseaous.

It’s not like she hid it from you. She just doesn’t want to change for you. I wouldn’t get with a smoker but I wouldn’t expect someone to change things that bring them their comfort. You shouldn’t have got with a smoker if you were going to moan about it.

In this day and age I literally do not know anyone who smokes inside anymore, I don't know many smokers, they mostly vape, but even they go outside to vape or smoke whether it be in my house or their own. You are being subjected to secondary smoke which isnt fair and even more so if you have children in the house, she needs a wake up call, either she takes it outside or gives up.

It's a disgusting habit at best. Unforgivable indoors.