To want a month or so off parenting?

[feelconflicted]

Obviously it’s impractical, can’t happen, etc, but do you ever think … if you could just have a month or so in your ‘old’ life before becoming a mum? The lie ins you’d have, the late bedtimes unworried about the next day, the books you’d read, the stuff you’d do, I can’t believe before becoming a mum I sometimes felt lonely and unfulfilled!

Op does Dad have no contact with DC? Is there any single parents groups near you, perhaps where. You could swap childcare? Not for a month lol but just to give you a few spare hours?

Spare hours are the worst; you just get into something and then have to break it off to get dc.

I am going away for work for 6 days and I soooo excited. I will be able to sleep and not cook or clean!

Life isn't fair.

I'm a single mum, not had one break. It is what it is.

I don't know any parent who wouldn't want time off parenting.

PILs are taking DS away for 4 days in August. Yes, DH and I will have to work but we're looking forward to spontaneously going to the pub or for walks.

YANBU

I had 5 whole days to myself while DH took the kids to his parents so i could recover from surgery. Totally worth it.

Read the books. "It's mummy's quiet time now darling, go and play". It's allowed. Teach them that you matter too. It doesn't do them any harm to learn to entertain themselves a bit sometimes. The happiest mothers I know are the ones who can be a bit "selfish" here and there. You are also a person; it's good for them to understand that. After a while you might even move on to "if you wake up before me, play quietly and don't wake me up". Some of your friends will think this is child abuse, probably. But it really isn't. They don't have to be given the message that women are just machines who exist to serve everyone else at all times. Consideration for others and self-reliance can be taught. Start small, but start them young.

I loved going away on a yearly field trip for five days - DH coped perfectly well at home, and it was wonderful being able to just get myself up in the morning even if I was dealing with 30 plus students abroad!

My parents used to leave me with before and after school care during the week because they worked full time. Then my nan and granddad would pick me up from school on Friday and return me home on Sunday. I'd also stay at my grandparents' every school holiday. My parents did minimal parenting.

The void never asks for snacks or which spoon it should use to dish up yogurt. Lovely void 🕳️

I believe there’s two very different experiences as a mother. One where you have unlimited support (from adoring retired grandparents in my case). And one where you don’t have any. I’ve experienced both, and the two experiences are worlds apart.

I'm mid forties and very happy to say my life has been lie-ins and doing mostly what I want for a few years now. I had 6 children in my teens and 20s and they've been grown for a while.

I might not have material things that others have due to choices but I am freeeeee for weekends away, long baths, spontaneous outings and I can do my hobbies when I want.

oh absolutely

not my life before but a week ALONE in a nice spa hotel

after a week I would miss the cat

This is what I ask for whenever my DP asks what I want for Xmas or bday, he thinks I’m joking 🙁

Me too. I used to fantasise about an enforced stay in hospital - for a non dangerous reason - just not to be 'on' 24/7.

These days I look forward to my annual work trip. Yes it is knackering and involves a 12 hour flight. But when I get there, to the lovely quiet hotel room, outside working hours no one demands anything of me. Bliss.

This year I am taking the new Rivals series with me. Finish work. Hotel - bubble bath and Rivals. Heaven.

I go away frequently for work. Kids are 4 and 6. It’s bliss when I’m away, no bed time, watching telly I want to watch, get up and have hotel breakfast

I had 36 hours walking the Thames path and a night in a B&B when ds was 3. I remember every minute. Kept me going for a very long time.

Yes, I think you’re right. The freedom my friends have is really enviable!

Sigh, I would love this. And I would take the whole month even though I would miss my kids so much. Because it feels like for ten years (two with age gap, so been in the young kids stage a while!) I've been trying to catch my breath and finish a thought, and if I could just have a month to process and catch up with myself I would be such a better mother afterwards.

Love this!!!

This is where I'm at now, my DH can offer to take the kids for a few hours but I feel so burnt out that a few hours aren't going to help me feel better.

We've got one lot of grandparents too far away and another that can't be bothered to spend time (as in just time with us, not even looking after the grandchildren) with us regularly. I'm usually more stoic and less bitter about this but right now I think parents with grandparent support don't know they're born as the old saying goes.

This only works after a certain age though. Can't really say this to my 1 year old.

I would like twenty four hours occasionally where I don’t have to do anything for anyone else. A time when I don’t have to put a meal on the table or put anyone to bed or worry that spending time online just for me isn’t selfish. I would also like not to clean and tidy for that short time but come back with everything exactly as I left it - clean and tidy.

Exactly, except my young dcs don't have any grandparents at all, it is so sad.

My DH worked shifts. When he did nights when the kids were small I told him that if he was having an affair I would be broken hearted but he was booking into a hotel and having sleep I would kill him. 😂