Can’t get over poor baby Preston

[Doximama2]

Not sure this is an AIBU, I never post on here but just feel I want to today. I am a 59 year old nana of 3 gourgous grandchildren including a one year old boy, the whole story in the need the last few weeks and especially this week about poor baby Preston that was tortured, abused and ultimately murdered by his 2 adoptive “fathers” has completely traumatized me. I am recovering from a big surgery 2 weeks ago so feeling emotional but this has really upset me so much that this was able to happen and that no one, not any social services, medics on visits to the hospital - one even with a broken elbow ffs - friends and family of these monsters realised what was happening and that Preston wasn’t a happy one year old. My grandson is always happy and smiling unless he is poorly so how did this go unnoticed? I had to turn the news off Monday when they showed this poor baby trying to sleep and this monster kept making him wake up.

im not naive, I have worked in public service including health and social services which I think is why I can’t comprehend how this was allowed to happen. It just feels like there is so many awful things in the world, and has made me so sad. 😭

Stop allowing two men to adopt babies. They are ill equipped to manage them

@Redheadedstepchild your link is behind a paywall, but yes foster carers and adopters do take children on holiday including abroad. With the child being on a Care Order it would have required agreement from social services in advance. Without the link I'm not clear though if he went on multiple holidays with the adopters (as three in four months would be unusual) or if he'd gone previously with his foster carers.

Sentencing tomorrow. I dont think they will both be sent to the same jail. Hints that Varley will go to Wakefield. The lags are waiting and there is a buzz around the jail, so the rumours say. They may well be just rumours but I imagine that wherever they end up, it wont end well 1😉

Thankyou for your clarification. I can see why a passport might be valuable ID for a cared for minor but on the other hand, if it is true, why was it allowed for them to take him on any kind of trip too far away from home? (I use the term for want of a better word.)

It doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

Yes, I've worked in probation and prisons. There's a reason the media plastered their images.

It’s one of the most sickening cases I have read. Nauseating to the very core.

@Runningswanker Oh heck. The link isn't behind a paywall with me but I'm not in the UK. I've heard the same quote replicated across a few newspapers though. You could be right that he went on holiday with the foster family.

They're expected to provide the child with a positive family life. Holidays wouldn't be approved if they were risky (eg to an area the govt advises against travelling to) but the alternative would be banning children in care from the opportunity of going on holiday abroad. Think about how that would feel to a child growing up. Even worse if the carers had to travel and the child had to go to strangers (respite) because the carers couldn't take them (as can happen when there are issues getting a child a passport in time)

I see.

Because who would refuse a previously looked after child the opportunity to experience the world?

Room for nuance here. I just was asking.

No, I’m not being nuanced at all. I don’t do nuance, as you may have guessed from this thread! I’m not sure if the men took Preston away or if they had merely booked three holidays. There is a lot of hearsay on this thread and in the reporting. I have not seen anything in the evidence from court to suggest that Preston had been on these trips. I would be amazed if the men had been given permission to take Preston away three times in four months. As you quite rightly point out, it’s strongly encouraged to embrace routine in the early days of placement, stay close to home and not introduce too many additional changes.

For those who want to read articles behind a paywall, paste the link into archive ph or archive today. You will be able to read them for free.

Link to the Telegraph article.

archive.ph/ozmNP

Thankyou, I'm so confused now that I doubt myself. Apparently the, "Three foreign holidays" statement came from the maternal grandmother in a letter she received from the proposed adoptive people.

Can she be believed? Can they be believed? Can the media be believed? But I did find out that passports are needed for all cared for children. I didn't know that. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't.

@Runningswanker has been very helpful to me in explaining things.

🤞

They were selected like anyone else - unless or until we find out differently, they went through the same rigorous processes of assessment and vetting as any potential adopter. Or do you think social workers just plucked them out at random?

A child so young would have no idea of the world and foreign travel would be wasted on him.

Foreign travel to places far beyond the reach of British social services or police otoh would potentially pose a risk.

Abusers might not "see themselves as paedophiles" 🙄 but that's exactly what they are.

Men are just as equipped as women to love a child. It’s not the fact that they are gay, it’s the fact that they are utterly vile horrible people.
women can be just as vile

It is devastating. These stories are appearing more and more, worse and worse. The only way I feel any better about it, is when I’m parenting my children I think of them and imagining I’m giving them that love too. Snuggling and reading a book, it’s for my little boy and poor little Ethan. Rocking the baby to sleep with care us for my youngest and Preston. Giggling and tickling us for Sara too because she deserved that kind of love. These poor angels.

It’s truly sickening. My heart breaks for that little boy each time I see his gorgeous picture. The video of him falling asleep to then be woken up is just awful. I’ve read what happened to him and had to stop; it was so sickening. Why would anyone want to harm a little baby. They will get the justice they deserve in prison and I can’t wait to hear it.

I meant in the sense of peadophiles meaning someone who is primarily attracted to children.
There are plenty of people who are very much attracted to other adults, and have had relationships with adults, who still abuse children if they get the opportunity.

OP here, I’m the same. If I hear lessons will be learned again I will scream; this doesn’t happen, things don’t change. I saw on the news it’s sentencing today, I hope to god they are not allowed to stay hiding in their cells and are made to come to court to face up to their punishment like poor Preston had to x

OP here, thank you for all of the comments, it’s great to feel that the majority of people are decent and hate these abhorrent monsters as much as I do. I saw on the news this morning it’s their sentencing day today; I hope to god they are made to come to court to face the judge and receive their punishment like poor Preston had to instead of being allowed to hide in their cells like cowards. 😡