Can’t get over poor baby Preston

[Doximama2]

Not sure this is an AIBU, I never post on here but just feel I want to today. I am a 59 year old nana of 3 gourgous grandchildren including a one year old boy, the whole story in the need the last few weeks and especially this week about poor baby Preston that was tortured, abused and ultimately murdered by his 2 adoptive “fathers” has completely traumatized me. I am recovering from a big surgery 2 weeks ago so feeling emotional but this has really upset me so much that this was able to happen and that no one, not any social services, medics on visits to the hospital - one even with a broken elbow ffs - friends and family of these monsters realised what was happening and that Preston wasn’t a happy one year old. My grandson is always happy and smiling unless he is poorly so how did this go unnoticed? I had to turn the news off Monday when they showed this poor baby trying to sleep and this monster kept making him wake up.

im not naive, I have worked in public service including health and social services which I think is why I can’t comprehend how this was allowed to happen. It just feels like there is so many awful things in the world, and has made me so sad. 😭

Op, I felt the same about Daniel Pelka. The scale of cruelty is too distressing for any normal sane person.

I was relieved when his disgusting parents died in prison and I'm ashamed to say, I hope the same happens for those two men.

They aren't worth the air they breathe.

Incorrect. Lancashire Police were called on one on Prestons frequent hospital visits. It was decided his injuries WERE accidental so off you pop Officer Dibble

Yes little Daniel ❤️ nobody noticed he was scavenging in bins for food. .......

As uncomfortable as it is, if you've got new parents appearing worried and mortified about a child pulling a toy box over and injuring himself, and assuring everyone that they're going to move it/secure it to the wall or whatever I can see how it would result in advice being given rather than an assumption that it was a lie. It isn't an unusual type of accident for a child who has started pulling themselves up to have.

Re the elbow fracture, the child's social worker wouldn't have made the decision the fracture wasn't suspicious. The medics would have made the decision as to whether they carers account was plausible as to how the injury occurred. Fractures to the elbow aren't that unusual in young children. I understand it's so easy to say with hindsight, but you haven't indicated on what basis the social worker should have been able to tell that the medic got it wrong? The wider context - that parents told different stories, eg he told someone else that he panicked when he saw Preston fall and grabbed his arm to stop him - wasn't known at the time. Individually though, the accounts sounded plausible. If anything, Varley's experience of safeguarding and working with children sadly probably helped him to know what to say that would make it seem plausible.

They won’t be in the general population, but the absolutely parlous state of the prison system means plenty of dangerous general population men will be accommodated nearby. And as we we can see from a couple of recent trials, many of those men have nothing to lose and no ethics and want only to be away from child killing and abusing men like these. Ironically the killers of men like this are the ones who end up closeted away.

Your description of your physical state while fantasising in detail about sexual torture is hardly portraying you as on the right side of the discussion. I have reported your post for being fucking weird.

Ah ok, I was going off from a statement the police had made. Perhaps it's that they didn't see him until the day he died rather than they weren't notified.

I agree with this, the lack of capacity in prisons means they won't be separated for their safety as much as people think they will be.

So on what basis would you say the police should have decided they weren’t accidental (which they weren’t of course). What did they miss that could have been seen, in your opinion?

I think it's more the repetition. Each time they of course lied about what caused the injuries but it happened 3 times that he was hospitalised..this is within being in their care only 4 months, alarm bells should have been ringing like crazy FFS

I dont know. I was not involved and I was not present. Ask those who where there

I haven’t read the entire thread but I have read a fair bit on this and it’s heartbreaking.

Why didn’t the Nana get the baby? She may have needed help initially but I thought social services aimed to keep siblings together.

Another case with failed chances to stop abuse. I thought it was flagged if a child went to hospital too many times? It’s thoroughly depressing.

The men need locking up for life, they are absolutely disgusting.

Oh right, you have strong opinions about what others failed to do, but no idea what they could or should have done instead. Got you 🫡

He really was a beautiful baby boy. That video of that evil man waking him up and still he tried to smile. Why would anyone film that? Sick bastard.

I agree with your post with the exception that the prison population do have ethics. I'm not painting them as good people. There are criminals but they do have "rules".
The miscreants will eventually be dealt with by natural justice.

The worst child abuse story I've ever read. Really find it hard to shake from my head. Horrific. Try to remember there are more good people than bad in this world, but who knows what goes on in the minds of some and behind closed doors.

I've ended up donating a bit of monthly money to NSPCC as it's all I could think of to do.

In hindsight I can absolutely see that. However, having spent a bit of time in hospital recently, it’s chaotic, the staff don’t always have or read the notes, and I can imagine a scenario where new parents are seen as overly cautious about every normal bump and bruise, rather than deliberately harming them. Of course that’s not right and in retrospect absolutely terrible but I don’t think we can immediately assume someone failed based on the information in front of them.

The alternative is that every frequent flyer is referred to social services, and while that might seem a good idea, massive suspicion and unnecessary removals can also be harmful to children.

I wonder whether AI could be helpful in detecting specific patterns that could raise red flags. Human instinct is to believe believable stories, and in this case you have medics being reassured their decisions were right, social workers putting the injuries into context with the explanations and assessments and home environment etc. If I was a tech billionaire that’s absolutely where I’d be looking to spend money - how can this technology keep people safer? Of course not one of them gives a fuck.

He wasn't hospitalised in the sense of being admitted three times though I don't think? Going to hospital with a baby frequently isn't that unusual, especially in the case of adoptive parents who are meant to be cautious and seek medical advice. One was a possible seizure, one was D&V and a temp, the third was a fracture. The first two wouldn't usually ring alarm bells, and the third obviously seems more serious but isn't that unusual for children, and with an apparently plausible explanation.
Obviously it will be helpful to know from the investigation whether he was properly checked over, and whether any other injuries were likely either to have been missed or not investigated enough.

You’re entitled to your opinion but I think you’d be disappointed if you expected the killers of Huntley, Ian Watkins or Kyle Bevan to be men of any kind of ethics. They are entirely self interested, and they carry out these additional murders for no reason other than personal vendetta, including debt, or to get a bit of glory or a better location or reputation. It is absolutely not because of any moral crusade.

ETA I’m not suggesting this applies to the prison population as a whole, who have as many mixed views and ethical positions as any random MN board!

They are supposed to be visiting regularly and checking how the placement is going. We had decent social work supervision both times we went through the process. I suspect it depends on the competence/experience of the social workers involved.

RIP Beautiful Baby Preston, you deserved so much better 🤍

I hope that all wildest sexual fantasies of these two degenerates will be fulfilled in prison. Let them taste their own medicine. There’s no adequate punishment for what they did to Baby Preston.

Prisoners still have a strong hierarchy and the lowest of the low are the child abusers. Even the authorities don't always investigate "thoroughly" when one dies unexpectedly even though there is an organisation that investigates all deaths in custody. I don't normally wish harm to anyone but I do hope these horrendous perpetrators experience some additional "justice" from inmates before they get transferred to a vulnerable prisoners unit or prison ("vulnerable" prisoners are usually sex offenders or convicted police or prison officers).

I feel like the posters downplaying the role of professionals who frankly ignored this child's suffering don't fully understand what happened in this case. I'm not going to explain to you what caused the child's death because it actually knocks me physically sick, but if you're sat there defending the people who should have put, lets be honest, ten and twn together you need to actually read what happened because if you read it and understand you would be similarly outraged. It's hearing of cases like this that can actually permanently alter how you see the world.

Maybe mathematicians should be part of the multi disciplinary team when deciding on who may adopt. They can analyse stats and risk and discount bias. We would always use maths for financial liability but we don’t consider it for things like this. Employ actuaries to work in social services and improve safeguarding that way.

Three times in four months? With issues like fractures and breathing problems? Read the case before commenting.