DH cooking but getting distracted by gaming

[50sandFabulous]

My DH cooks maybe once a month. I don't mind, as he works long hours and I don't. Every now and again though he will cook, and I'm starting to wish he just didn't bother.

I was so looking forward to not cooking last night. He had announced he was doing a roast. Fab! He started cooking the roast potatoes far too early. Then he got engrossed in a game (he's 53!), I shouted up a few times that I thought they were going to burn. He kept saying he'd come down and sort it.

Long story short, on the one day he cooks, the thing is almost inedible. The roast potatoes had skins like leather. The (expensive) meat was dry. Veggies were the only thing done nicely. I know this is a first world problem, but it's so disappointing.

Came down this morning and the kitchen is a bomb site - I've cleaned it all up whilst he is still asleep. Grr.

I’m glad he’s not my husband.

You don’t clean it!! You text saying: ‘I’m going out to breakfast I can’t believe you didn’t even cook an edible meal and left the kitchen a dump, I’m not cooking again until it’s clean, and you can try again on the weekend to cook for us because providing your wife with a home cooked meal I don’t have to cook once a month is a tiny tiny ask.’

@99bottlesofkombucha
That won’t happen. The op is another mumsnet martyr.

Why on earth did you clean it up?

I was with you until you said you had cleaned up all the mess! Don't do that.

I'd be saying that's a bit dry for me and having a sandwich next time.

And stop "helping" him e.g. by warning him the potatoes would burn. All you're doing is preventing him from experiencing the consequences of his own actions. I bet you do that in other areas of his life too. You're not his mum and he is not a naughty school boy. Stop playing your role and he might stop playing his.

I bet he can concentrate fiiine at his Big Important Job.
you know, the one he actually cares about 🙄

Didn't take long to clear up - we have a dishwasher. It's just so disappointing, what should have been a lovely meal, ruined by incompetence.

True! He has a really important job where lives are at stake. He manages this fine. But cooking a meal, and he balls it up, he also gets very wound up at home about the tiniest thing.

Sounds like strategic incompetence to me.

The threads on MN from OP's who are in relationships with gamers are generally horror stories. Invariably the OP and real life involvement come a poor second to the obsession with gaming. How OP's put up with if is mystery to me

For some women, any man - no matter how useless or disengaged he may be with his relationship - is better than no man.

Sorry I think there was a typo
Did you mean 15 year old son?

That would piss me off too. Roughly the same set up here too, but when my DH does cook he will use "components" like the M&S dine in meals, or something simple like pasta. Tell him you're fine with a simple meal (or dinner out!) but the cooking is his job every night until he manages an edible one, and then you'll take over again. Until the next month. 😂

Then why didn’t he do it?

I never know what people want from these sorts of posts. He’s lazy and selfish. You seem to think it’s funny. You won’t do anything about it so what do you want anyone to say? He’s choosing to do a shit job, you know that, he knows that, we know that.

Before I form an opinion I’d like to know whether he clears up after you have been cooking , and how messy you are as a cook.

DH was very keen on cooking but it was always a performance and often the food didn’t emerge until gone 10pm. And left the kitchen as a bomb site.

We agreed that whoever cooked would clear up. And I made sure to have made myself something simple but sustaining (and cleared it all away too, naturally) before he started.

I understand you clear up so that you actually have a functioning kitchen again. And that you would rather he didn’t. Really hope you can have a sensible conversation with him about the clearing up so that you don’t routinely get left with that.

is there usually anything wrong with his ability to concentrate when he is gaming?

I have got distracted gaming whilst cooking, the food didn’t suffer but the game did. Obviously he should have made a decent dinner and also cleaned up if that’s the deal. Roasts are very easy if gaming, done it many a time.

The key to gaming whilst cooking is to do something timed to time with your cooking. Out of interest what game was he playing? Could be timed, could be opened ended, could have been something he could have left at any time.

If there are any Destiny 2 players out there they will understand this. I forgot to reset my trials card when cooking a roast dinner so missed out on going flawless. It was a few years ago the time you had to climb the tower for rewards and ended up seeing the horse.

This isn't incompetence.

Don't fool yourself.

I reckon his plan is working - 'ruin the one dinner out of 30/31 that I have to cook and trash the kitchen in the process and she'll just shut up and accept that cooking is "wimmins work"'.

You are unreasonable to take this lying down. Unless he's working 18 hours a day he can get off his lazy arse and cook once a week at least (and clean up afterwards).

Ruining a lovely roast because of gaming would bloody annoy me but in my house, someone else tidies the kitchen and not the cook. Does he tidy up when you cook?

Honestly, I'd have been tying his testicles in a bow knot for this kind of behaviour. My husband, unknotted, cooks delicious meals and, because I am still working and he is retired, he does the clean up.

Then why didn’t he do it?

In our house, if you cook then you don't clean up. Maybe he cleans up after the OP on other nights.

My husband, unknotted,

😂😂😂

Then learn your lesson, woman. He Man, he shouldn't cook. If he does, as a tokenistoc gesture to stop your whining, he will purposely be incompetent so you a.cannot actually relax cos you have to micromange him b.will have shit food to punish you for your stupidity in expecting Mr Important to cook your food. Do you not understand how terribly important he is?? He's too important to be a decent husband.

My guess is.... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Does he fuck.