AIBU to go abroad just me and the kids?

[worrier66556]

DH is not sure whether he will be able to get the time off work over the summer to coincide with booking a holiday (price wise and we are governed to when we have DSS). I love my holidays and would like the kids to still have a holiday of some sort. Would you go abroad just you and the kids? I know it’s a silly question really as I’m sure so many single parents do!

Would be 3/4 nights maybe Spain so flight only 2/2.5 hours max. Me, DSS 8, DD 2 and DD who would be just 1. We could just go in the UK somewhere but solo parenting where there’s nice weather, pool, kids club for DSS and AI to make meals easier sounds much more appealing and also cheaper than a UK break in the holidays. We have been away with them abroad before so little ones have flown before.

Any one have experience or words of encouragement so I just book it! And any recommendations for hotels would be great!

Why not just go somewhere in the UK? The kids won't mind at that age where they are

Also I think your DH really needs to prioritise some time off when DSS is with him.
My children are deeply unimpressed when they go to their dads for holidays and he doesnt even bother to sort time off to be with them

It's the "two kids needing to poop at once thing" that can be a struggle in your own.
If you can bring your MIL, absolutely go for it, it sounds like a great time for you all.

I did it with my MIL when mine were about four and two. She was harder work than they were!

I doubt it would be safe around a pool with such small children and one adult.

I took my three to Ibiza on my own but they were a couple of years older.All was fine until the flight home was cancelled and we had to stay in a random hotel arriving at 3am !
Think 2 toddler will be tricky on your own.

I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t take 3 kids that age to a place with a pool, and I wouldn’t be allowed to take them into public pools here because you’re only allowed two children per adult in that age range to keep them safe. But you just can’t run after the 8yo while parenting a 1 and 2 yo so I wouldn’t generally! I have flown long haul solo with a 3yo and baby, and it’s doable if you have to but it’s not easy at all.

It’s also 8yo runs off and you can’t run after without carrying a 1 and a 2yo…

You sound great OP! And a wonderful stepmother.
I do agree with PP that this is a big ask for you. Your kids are very little and DSS is at an age where he will want to do big kid things which you will be limited in with the two babies on your own.
You need an extra adult.

Personally I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have enjoyed taking children that young on holiday by myself. But you know yourself and your children better than I do!

Would it be more enjoyable to go with someone else?

You know the kids so YANBU but could your DH at least do a long weekend? So you all fly out on Friday night and then he can help on the journey, then he comes back on say Monday and if you want you stay a bit longer?

Or what about a nice place with a kids club in the UK? Maybe even Center Parcs. Depending on where you live your DH could go to work during the day and then hang out with you all in the evenings? But I agree another adult would make things a lot easier especially if you’re doing something like swimming.

Do a uk holiday . I’m not sure you would legally be allowed to take your step child as neither parent is travelling. What has step child’s mum said?

If she is looking at the Spanish islands there is no concession for families in EES queues! They are the longest. If they are going in school holidays she is likely to find herself in a queue for a couple of hours (like we did at half term). Adults with no children or those over 12 all made it through checks reasonably quickly. Families were all put into a separate line - which being half term were many travellers. It made no difference if people had babies or toddlers, everyone was in that queue!

Given the young age of the youngest 2, i’d want another pair of hands. Things like going up for your food at buffet if you’re not close, having 2 children in the pool, on the flight. I’m all for doing things on your own, but at their young age, i’d want another pair of hands.

Of course you can take a child not related to you away, you just need a letter from parents, and i’d imagine a photocopy of their passport. My ex took my son away a fair few times, and given they were different race, it was obvious he was not the father.

I have travelled with all my kids loads from the age of 5 months, and I wouldn’t do it at those ages. At age 1 and 2 you can’t take your eyes off them, it’s very hard work with two parents, sounds like a nightmare with one. In even just a couple of years, in my experience, it will be more enjoyable.

Will be very hard work, I flew a lot with mine solo who were a tiny gap like yours but the other end I was collected by my parents who then doted on me and the kids, dropping me back at the airport for the 10 hour flight back - plus back then BA treated us well, dd even got a cockpit visit before they were stopped

I think it would be hard work. Watching the two mobile children near water (if at the pool or beach) whilst taking care of the baby. Loo visits. The hotel buffet. Managing the two little ones plus luggage through the airport. I’d only want to do it if another helpful adult could go.

Whaat about seeing if you have a friend with children you could go with? i agree that 2 toddlers at the pool, plus an 8 year old, and one adult is potentially a bit much.

I recently took my DC aged 3.5 and just over 1 abroad for 6 nights. Flight and airport were fine, people were kind and helpful and we got whisked through EES queues due to the buggy. BUT I met my parents out there which was very helpful and managing the two of them by the pool or at the beach on my own would have been so stressful! I think having another adult for safety, logistics and company for you would be advisable.

I wouldn't at those ages because my kids were a lot haha, if your little ones are chilled it might be fine for you.

Nope. Apart from anything, what sort of holiday will it be for the 8yo? They shouldn't be acting as a de facto babysitter, because surely that's what they'll be doing. They're too young to be left alone, so every time the little ones need nappy/wee/nap, 8yo will have to tag along.

Can 8yo swim? How will you safely supervised this with the babies?

I wouldn’t choose to do that with such young kids. I did an AI holiday on my own with two older children but they were both 10+ and well able to sleep in the heat, get their own food at dinner, swim without me in the pool, go back to the room to grab towels and things, ask for drinks at the bar…it was no effort me at all and was a fun holiday. Wouldn’t have done it much before they were 8 I think.

Thanks all, DHs large work project has been postponed for a few months so we should be good to do something all together. When someone said about the AI buffet I’d forgotten how difficult it is to plate up a dinner whilst holding a baby and a toddler grabbing at your leg to be picked up!! That’s enough to put me off lol, but yes to be fair pool-wise would be difficult and potentially unsafe. I think DSS would be more than happy with a kids club with football etc and is a very confident swimmer and all round sensible lad.

In answer to whether DSS mum would be comfortable with me going alone, yes she would. DH had mentioned it to her just to get her thoughts and she was absolutely happy for that, coparenting is getting easier as the years go on so I won’t rule it out when the little ones are a few years older if needs be. Thanks all!