AIBU to go abroad just me and the kids?

[worrier66556]

DH is not sure whether he will be able to get the time off work over the summer to coincide with booking a holiday (price wise and we are governed to when we have DSS). I love my holidays and would like the kids to still have a holiday of some sort. Would you go abroad just you and the kids? I know it’s a silly question really as I’m sure so many single parents do!

Would be 3/4 nights maybe Spain so flight only 2/2.5 hours max. Me, DSS 8, DD 2 and DD who would be just 1. We could just go in the UK somewhere but solo parenting where there’s nice weather, pool, kids club for DSS and AI to make meals easier sounds much more appealing and also cheaper than a UK break in the holidays. We have been away with them abroad before so little ones have flown before.

Any one have experience or words of encouragement so I just book it! And any recommendations for hotels would be great!

YANBU. You still deserve a holiday.

But I personally would make it at least a week long stay.

I think you are very brave flying with 2 toddlers but great you are taking your step son so if you can manage it why not. Enjoy

Obviously ensure you have permission letter and passport photocopies of both your step sons parents as well as from your DH for your own to go through passport control

I would but probably with older ones. Wouldn’t the 1 and 2 year old be a handful by yourself?
I just ask because I was in Rhodes with DD a couple of years ago and there was a lady there on her own with 3 kids. There was a lad about 7, a girl about 5 and a baby about 1. I used to get stressed just watching her. Didn’t look much like a holiday really.

Personally I wouldn't want to do the airport with 3 children alone. While the flight may be short the airport queues due to the EES are long..

Take a friend with yoU to help with the kids? Maybe agree to pay for their flight in return for help with childcare?

I probably wouldn't at that age just for logistical purposes. How do you manage both little ones in the pool? Does everyone have to come with you every time a nappy needs changing or someone needs the loo?

DH and I did a holiday once where he was attending a conference and I tagged along with the kids. It's all fun and games until one of them is asleep on a sun lounger and the other one needs to go to the loo and it's too far for them to go alone......

3 kids on your own and 2 under 2 would be a lot on the plane and monitoring around the pool/ beach.

I took my kids away to Barcelona for 5 nights when they were 7 and 9, but don’t think I’d do that with two toddlers. But of a bus man’s holiday! Why don’t you go in the UK and find a hotel that offers babysitting?

Usually I’d say yes. However on your own with a 1 and 2yr old sounds like a stressful time. If they were all within a few yrs of the 8yr old that would be fine but not with such little ones. I do remember the holidays at that age and it often wasn’t much fun and that’s with 2 adults to help.

Two issues:

1. You can't take your stepson abroad by yourself, can you?? Even dad as the resident parent would have to have a signed letter from mum, I don't think an unrelated adult can take a kid out of the country.
2. You won't meet the minimum number of adults to supervise them swimming so you'd all have to stay out of the pool.

My rule is not to go abroad without another adult until at least one of the kids is old enough to help deal if something goes wrong e.g. go to reception to get help if you end up dangerously ill with food poisoning.

Of course you can take a child thats not yours out of the country. ...countless school trips would be knackered otherwise, let alone taking a childs best mate away for company...
Also the EES queues have a special concession for families with kids/ require special assistance.

Thats not to say its going to be the most relaxing week youve had, but its doable and just be flexible with plans/leave plenty of time/ dont be unrealistic. Look at childrens clubs or family focussed places. Or look to see if any friends or other solo parents might be up for it

I think you’re mad taking 2 such young children on your own on top of a 3rd child, I just don’t think it would be enjoyable. Do something in the UK.

I wouldn’t be overly keen if I was the mother of the step child either (but think it’s lovely you’re willing to do so).

The loveliest of dc transform into little hellions when they’re entire routine, and sensory norms change. Even adventurous, outgoing dc can be intimidated by the kids club. I wouldn’t go without another adult at those ages.

I was thinking absolutely go for it until I saw the ages. I just don’t think it would be safe in the pool to have 2 under 2. Every time someone needs the toilet or something you’d all have to get out and go etc as you couldn’t leave the little ones alone. I think it would be really difficult

Initially, I thought of course, don’t be ridiculous and then I read you have 2 very young ones which I think could be pretty challenging to keep an eye on both, especially around a pool or at a resort. It doesn’t sound relaxing at all and I’d go another time when your husband can make it. Daughter is only 8, so not terrible and if you went during school term, for the same period you wouldn’t get fined as it’s 10 sessions.

Maybe find a nice hotel UK or maybe a french camping style place ? It would be hard going with such young ones I think

Thanks all, think you’ve given me the reality check I needed! Maybe I’ll see if the MIL is free

If the middle one was a bit older I'd say go for it (I have 3 kids) but I'd struggle with pools with a 1&2 year old and having eyes on the 8yo. Even nipping to the loo will be a military operation

I have taken my two abroad alone numerous times but not at those ages - 1 and 2 yos away from home on your own would be exhausting I think, and then you’ve got the age gap to consider. So you couldn’t even nap when they do.

I would want someone to go with you really.

Could your DH not try a bit harder to get the time off sorted? Or could he try to get Oct half term off so at least you’ve got something booked?

If you can rope in a grandparent I'd 100% go for it. I've done a few trips with my mum and the kids, her mobility isn't great but just having another adult who can watch the baby nap while you swim with the others, or keep an eye on the oldest while you take the toddler to the loo etc makes alllll the difference.

But the was probably dealing with them at home as well as cooking, cleaning and bad weather. Aren't most holidays with small kids sme shit different place

What do you suppose all single parents do?

Just a thought Are you actually going to be allowed to take the 8 year old abroad if he isn't your kid? Suppose it depends if his mum gives written agreement to you doing so