Lending money to family

[CatMakesFive]

Would you lend money to a family member in these circumstances?

I’ve been asked by my cousin to lend her £2.5k for rent arrears. Her landlord has tried to work with her by setting up a payment plan apparently but it’s not worked out and they are now ready to start the eviction process unless she clears the debt. It sounds like it’s been dragging on for almost a year with her paying some, then not, but she’s being quite vague about the timings.

She works full time, has children but gets no financial help from their dad. I don’t know where she would live if she’s evicted. What would happen?

I can easily afford it but I don’t think I’ll get it back, at least not all of it. She says she could pay me £200 per month back but based on what’s happened with non payment to her landlord, I doubt that. I could afford to write it off if she doesn’t pay so that’s not the problem. I wish she hadn’t asked. I feel selfish as it’s not an amount that would be a problem to me but I’ve always had the mindset of not lending money to anyone as it causes issues and a big part of me feels she needs to sort this out herself.

Would you lend her the money?

YABU - Yes

YANBU - No

How is she going to be able to afford the rent moving forward? Aren't the arrears just going to keep increasing and she'll be coming to you again? I think maybe you would be better off supporting her to find somewhere within her budget and to ensure that the father is supporting the children.

I wouldn’t personally, nope.

I also agree both your friend. You don’t know what debt she’s in.

Also, how close are you to your cousin? Has she already borrowed money of other family members or friends first?

Cousin is - erm - very optimistic. She is a terrible risk and this has all the marks of being more money that she won’t be able to pay back and therefore just another stage in her journey to rock bottom.

Of course she should expect to show you her finances if she wants you to loan her money, and of course you should deal directly with the landlord, if you decide to help her out.

However, she needs to get in touch with a debt management charity (StepChange) and sort out her financial management or her debts will continue to spiral. Hard to believe there are no other debts if she’s not paying her rent.

I personally wouldn't if you do it once gaurantee it won't be long until she's asking again. Then when you eventually say start saying no you'll be the bad one. If she can't pay her landlord how does she expect to pay you back.
If you do, I would offer to clear her debt directly with her landlord and make it clear this is an absolute one off.