2.5 year old toddler and talking to him

[shutmumsclub]

I have a 2 year 7 month old that is generally well behaved.

However I've noticed I tend to be quite short compared to my other mum friends.

For example we are having lunch and he's starting to claw for my drink and climb all over me.

Instead of doing the whole gently parenting thing I just tell him to stop misbehaving and get away from mummy's drink..he did what he's told but I just feel like a shitty mum.

Other mums can ignore or gently talk about it with their child but I seem to get annoyed quickly.

Oh please keep those strong boundaries! Gentle parenting results in poorly behaved children!! You don’t have to shout or get cross just keep that boundary, “ please don’t climb all over mummy, sit on your bottom”

Why, gentle parent do set boundaries I'm just sharper

Is is climbing on you for attention / affection? If so; thats not ‘misbehaving’ he wants his mum. Gentle parenting does set boundaries but it’s also about recognising what is developmental normal.

You’re fine , OP. There’s nothing wrong with your parenting

You did right thing. It's beginning to become painfully obvious that "gentle" parenting simply hasn't worked.

Ok I’m confused? In your original post you said instead of gentle parenting I just tell him to stop misbehaving. Now you’re saying that gentle parenting set boundaries!

I suspect OP has an ulterior motive with this thread

In ten years time you'll be glad you had boundaries. Your friends will be moaning about their terrible teen years. People used to say I was harsh with DS and I should let things go as "boys will be boys". I just had rules, that were consistent, and age appropriate consequences if rules weren't followed. Teen years were a breeze. He's 18 now and a fantastic young adult, strong work ethic, knows what he wants in life and determined to get it, really polite to everyone.

Meanwhile my sibling has done the gentle parenting thing. Their three kids are absolute brats, rude, selfish, inconsiderate, and ungrateful. They are 16, 14 and 11, so plenty old enough to know better. Couldn't even tell you the last time one of them thanked me for a Christmas or birthday present and at the last Christmas the middle one was swearing at a family gathering and when I pulled him up on it he was full of attitude with me. They have absolutely no respect for anyone.

Yes I have to agree!

What are you confused about? It's about my tone not the parenting.

Gentle parenting or whatever people like to call it do set boundaries. They would gently tell the child to stop it or enterrain etc but I just go straight to "get off me, stop kicking me, you know not to drink my drink" etc

Ok but it was more about my tone

So if you’re unhappy about your tone then change it!

It was about your tone?

Oh ok then, your tone was sharper than the tone your friends use. Is that what you want us to know? (also confused)

You do need to have that change of tone, that you're using. 2 year olds don't understand that much language, they listen to your tone.

If you say "gentle hands Marmaduke!" in the same tone as you say "nice painting, well done!" then they'll think they're being praised for their behaviour.

Sometimes to have to be very firm and quite abrupt to hold a boundary with a toddler. Can’t work out what you’ve done that’s wrong but you seem to think it was so all you can do is change it, I wouldn’t recommend it though. Gentle parenting is so very often done so very badly. It can be a complete disaster unless you’re fully on board with it and completely understand how to do it effectively.

But your thread title is about talking to your child - not about reprimanding.

Disappointing … (I’ve found 2.5 year olds excellent company.)

I wish I could understand your post but you are comparing a 2.5 year old as excellent company lol

I guess if I was watching I would want the parent to be a bit softer. But for example at lunch he was climbing all over me. It's annoying and I'm not sure how else to speak to him.

Also he was hell bent on having my drink despite having his own..I don't want to share drinks because we've been ill recently and really I don't want to share drinks.

But he was grabbing at the drink and wouldn't take no for an answer

I don’t think a 2.5 yr old is maliciously naughty -more likely bored or wanting attention so using an angry tone is unfair imv

So?

I don't think anyone really knows what gentle parenting is, other than not shouting

The more you post the more I’m not sure what it is you’re after… are you trying to promote gentle parenting?? Do you know what it is??
If you want to be that kind of parent then educate yourself on what it involves and go for it. And find yourself a massive well of patience while you’re at it. It’s totally possible but very hard to get right.

I don't understand why people think I'm trying to do anything about gentle parenting..other people seem obsessed by it and fixated on it

You have mentioned gentle parenting in over half your posts.
Do you want to try it?
If not then why mention it at all??